What is freedom?

I have lived my whole life searching for "freedom."
Changing countries, changing environments, changing jobs.
I thought that not being tied down and being able to go anywhere at any time was what freedom was, and I enjoyed living that way.

I've been living like that for eight years abroad, but I think I might finally be getting tired of that lifestyle.
When I first jumped overseas, I felt like I could decide everything for myself!
It felt like, "Freedom is the best!" but after eight years, you start to want to settle down somewhere... and realize that having too much freedom can be painful.

There are so many choices that I can do this or that, so I can't focus on one thing, and since there's no reason to stay in one place, I just drift away somewhere else.


In the end, I realized that putting down roots in one place is the shortest route to getting the freedom I want now.

I realized that freedom without a foundation is actually the opposite of freedom.
Being able to choose many things without restrictions might, in other words, be somewhat lonely and unstable.
Because a sense of security doesn't grow, no matter where I go, I can't rest my heart in exchange for that freedom. I thought that if that's the case, I can only make choices to survive in that place, so in the end, isn't that not really freedom?


Having realized that, I'm now building a restaurant, choosing a business that will give me a reason to stay here next time. Investing, preparing, and going to the same place every day.
I'm working hard now, thinking of it as the foundation to gain a place to return to.

Besides, since I'm doing it with him, that's also a good anchor.
I can't just say, "I'm bored, I quit!" on my own whim.
The old me might have felt tied down and wanted to run away, but now I think that a certain amount of restriction might actually make life richer.
Because the number of choices decreases, one thing can grow, be loved, and as a result, things can accumulate.

I've lived my whole life looking for shortcuts, but now I think that what I was doing might have been the long way around after all.
In the end, there is no such thing as a sudden turnaround in life, and even if it looks like there is, that's just the result, and I think now that there is only the time accumulated before that.

Continuing steadily within a framework, or doing the unglamorous work behind the scenes—I've finally realized at this age that perhaps that kind of time is necessary to live freely.
I'm still in the middle of preparation, but I think of this time as an investment in my future self.
So today, too, I will continue to do what I can, one step at a time. ☺️🌴