When You Feel 'No One's Voice Reaches You Anymore'—A Religious Practitioner Discusses How to Deliver a Voice and the Reality of It Not Being Heard
These words are not a declaration directed at anyone.
They are words I tell myself every morning while continuing to give my dharma talks.
The moment when voices can no longer be heard
Some time ago, a university professor once said this to me in a quiet tone.
When you continue teaching like this, there comes a time when you can no longer hear the students' voices.
It was a very quiet statement, but for some reason, it has stayed with me ever since.
As a religious practitioner, I thought that if I ever stopped hearing the voices of my readers or listeners, that would be the end.
That is why I have always placed great importance on reading the comments sent in during my daily morning broadcasts.
'It's a bother.' 'I don't want to read them today.'
I never wanted to become the kind of person who feels that way.
But doing it every day is not a guarantee
On the other hand, I have also been thinking this lately.
Just because I do it every day does not mean I will always continue to hear those voices.
In fact, the comfort of 'doing it every day' can sometimes turn listening into a mere 'verification task' without me even realizing it.
Frequency itself is not a guarantee that one is truly hearing.
While worrying about what to say every morning
Every morning, I worry about what I should talk about today.
But this worry is not so much stress as it is meaningful worry.
'What is the teaching that I need for myself right now?'
While asking that question, I am re-selecting past words and themes.
Sometimes, I throw them to an AI to get a different perspective or angle.
However, I always set the question myself.
As I speak, there are moments when I think, 'Ah, this is true,' and it resonates with me personally.
At that moment, the words are no longer teachings, but become my own words.
Things I realized from a story about the lottery
In a recent sermon, I talked about the lottery.
'Do you think people can become happy through a stroke of luck?'
While asking that, I also honestly shared my own feelings, saying, 'I also have a part of me that wishes my books would sell well.'
And I said, 'People cannot learn from success,' and 'If you win the lottery, you end up learning the wrong lesson that you might win again.'
As I spoke those words, I felt, 'That is truly the case,' myself.
Ah, this is my own voice right now, I thought.
10 Mindsets to Return to When You Are Lost
Amidst these days, I tried writing down 10 mindsets to return to when I feel lost.
These are not days I can always live up to.
They are words I want to reread precisely on the days I feel I have failed to live up to them.
1. It is okay not to understand before you speak
Forgive yourself for coming to understand as you speak.
2. Place personal experience before teachings
Only offer words that have passed through your own worldly desires and cravings.
3. Do not justify what you are continuing
Do not use continuity as proof of your own righteousness.
4. Read comments as a 'call' rather than a 'reaction'
Receive them as the voice of an individual.
5. Always leave room to say, 'It is okay not to speak today'
Silence is also a practice of standing on the side of sentient beings.
6. It is fine to receive new perspectives from AI
However, always formulate the questions yourself.
7. Offer up your hesitations rather than success stories
People do not learn from success.
8. Do not fix the listener as the 'learner'
Speak as a fellow traveler living through the same questions.
9. Make your stance, rather than frequency, your pledge
Value the stance of trying to listen above all else.
10. Have the resolve to stop if you can no longer hear the voices
Do not forget the courage to stop, more than the courage to continue.
As words along the way
This is not a completed pledge.
These are things I want to cherish in order to keep listening to voices as I am now.
If there is any part that resonates with you, I would be happy if you could receive it in your own way, in your own place.
I want my daily morning sermon to be not a place where I provide answers, but a place where we live out questions together.
With that wish in mind, I am standing in a place where my voice can be heard again today.