Reasons Why Children Cannot Go to School in the Morning

Introduction

At night, they talked with their family and watched their favorite videos.

They said on their own, "I will go to school tomorrow."

Yet, when morning comes, they cannot get up.

They get stomachaches or headaches.

They cry when they try to put on their uniform.

Even if they make it to the front door, they cannot move from there.

Seeing their child like this, parents are bewildered.

"They were fine at night, so why is it impossible only in the morning?"

"Don't they actually have any intention of going?"

They might even end up thinking things like that.

However, the state of being unable to go to school in the morning cannot always be explained by a simple change in mood.

Disrupted sleep, autonomic nervous system function, tension when thinking about school, past unpleasant experiences, anxiety about the classroom or relationships, and difficulty with morning preparations due to developmental characteristics.

There are cases where multiple factors overlap, causing the mind and body to stop functioning.

In this article, as the 16th installment of our school non-attendance series, we will specifically organize the "reasons why children cannot go to school in the morning."

1. Saying "I'll go tomorrow" at night is not necessarily a lie

They said they would go tomorrow at night, but they cannot go in the morning.

When this state continues, parents may feel like they are being pushed around.

However, it does not mean that their words at night were a lie.

Night is a time away from school.

There are no classroom noises, no gazes from friends or teachers, and no pressure to make it in time for school.

In the safety of their home, they may feel, "I might be able to go tomorrow."

However, when morning comes, the actions of putting on a uniform, leaving the house, and entering the classroom become reality.

At that moment, the anxiety that had weakened at night may suddenly intensify.

Instead of blaming them by saying, "You said you would go," it is important to view it as, "They wanted to go at night, but perhaps the distress became stronger when morning came."

2. Morning is a time to switch the mind and body

Morning is the time to switch from a sleeping state to an active state.

Body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, and state of consciousness change in preparation for daytime activities.

If this switch does not go well, symptoms such as being unable to get up, feeling lightheaded, feeling nauseous, or feeling unwell when standing can occur.

The autonomic nervous system is a mechanism that regulates breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, and body temperature without you having to think about it.
Physical and mental fatigue, lack of sleep, and a disrupted daily rhythm can affect this, making the morning switch difficult.

If strong lethargy, dizziness, palpitations, nausea, or headaches persist, it is necessary to consult a medical institution rather than dismissing it as a lack of willpower.

3. Physical condition can worsen the moment one thinks about school

Thinking about school makes the stomach hurt.

As departure time approaches, headaches or nausea occur.

Standing at the front door causes palpitations.

These symptoms are not necessarily created on purpose by the individual.

Strong anxiety and tension also manifest in the body.

Even adults can get stomachaches or have their hands shake before an interview or a presentation in front of others.

Anticipatory anxiety is thinking about events that have not yet happened and becoming strongly anxious that "something painful might happen again."

The reason symptoms concentrate in the morning may be because that is when going to school becomes a reality.

4. The body may remember unpleasant experiences

When painful experiences at school continue, the body may react strongly in the morning even if the individual is not consciously aware of it.

Being teased by friends.

Being ignored.

Being scolded by a teacher in a harsh tone.

Failing in class and being laughed at.

Finding lunch, physical education, or presentation time painful.

Being exhausted by the noise of the classroom or the number of people.

When these experiences accumulate, the body may become vigilant, thinking, "If I go to school, I might get hurt again."

Even if you ask the person for the reason, they may answer, "I don't know."

When small burdens pile up, it is difficult for the person themselves to explain.

It is necessary to look at where the burden in school life lies, rather than just trying to stop the morning physical illness.

5. Disrupted sleep rhythms can also have an effect

When school non-attendance continues, bedtimes and wake-up times can become late.

Parents might feel, "They can't get up in the morning because they are staying up late."

Regulating the daily rhythm is important.

However, there are cases where the cause and effect are reversed.

Unable to sleep at night due to anxiety about school.

Recalling scenes from school when getting into bed.

Not wanting the night to end because they are afraid of the morning.

As a result, bedtime may become late.

Simply taking away their smartphone may not solve the problem.

It is necessary to think not only about sleep duration, but also about why they cannot sleep and what is painful in the morning.
6. Developmental characteristics can make morning preparations a burden

Among children with developmental characteristics, there are those who feel a strong burden in morning preparations.

Waking up, washing their face, changing clothes, eating breakfast, checking belongings, leaving the house.

They need to perform several actions in order within a short time.

For children who are not good at switching tasks or thinking about multiple things, this flow is a heavy burden.

Sensory stimuli such as the feel of clothes, the voices of family members, the sound of the TV, and the smell of breakfast can also overlap.

Prepare belongings the day before.

Write down the morning steps briefly.

Give instructions one at a time.

Allow extra time for departure.

These adjustments can sometimes reduce the burden.

7. Elementary school students are prone to physical symptoms

Elementary school students may find it difficult to explain their anxiety in words.

Therefore, it may manifest as abdominal pain, headaches, nausea, or strong sleepiness.

Symptoms may lighten when they stay home from school and they may feel better by around noon.

Then, it might be thought that "it was feigned illness."

However, there are cases where the tension decreases because they know they do not have to go to school, and the symptoms lighten.

Just because the symptoms have lightened does not mean the morning distress was a lie.

Asking in a way that is easy to answer, such as "What time of school are you worried about?" or "What is the most painful part of the morning?" can be helpful.

8. Junior high school students are prone to increased anxiety about relationships and evaluation

When they become junior high school students, there are more things to worry about, such as friendships, club activities, grades, school records, and social media.

The gaze the moment they enter the classroom is scary.

They don't want to be asked why they were absent.

They cannot keep up with the classes they missed.

Such anxieties can rush in during the morning.

Junior high school students may also feel embarrassed to talk to their parents about their weaknesses.

Even if they only say "Nothing" or "I'm just sleepy," anxiety or isolation may be hidden underneath.

Instead of questioning them in the morning, it can be easier to talk at a calm time by asking specifically, "What period do you think you could go for?" or "How about somewhere other than the classroom?"

9. High school students also face anxiety about credits and the future

In the case of high school students, anxiety about credits, grade advancement, graduation, and career paths is added to the morning distress.

I must not be absent.

If I am absent any more, my credits are in danger.

My friends have already decided on their career paths.

The more they think like this, the stronger the morning tension can become.
Parents also feel anxious because there are institutional deadlines.

However, if you vent that anxiety directly onto the child, they may become even more unable to move.

It is important to check with the school regarding attendance and credit status, parts that can be supplemented with assignments, separate room support, adjustment of school arrival time, and transfer deadlines.

Knowing about other ways of learning, such as correspondence high schools or evening high schools, can also lead to peace of mind.

10. Forcing them to move in the morning can be counterproductive

It is natural for parents to feel anxious in the morning as school time approaches.

"Get up quickly."

"You said you would go today, didn't you?"

You might want to say things like that.

However, when the person is in a state of strong tension, being repeatedly rushed can make their body even more unable to move.

Morning is sometimes not suitable for long discussions or searching for causes.

What symptoms do they have now?

Can they go late?

Is it possible to use a separate room or the infirmary?

Should they take the day off and contact the school?

It is important to briefly confirm the necessary options and talk about the causes and the future at a calm time.

11. What parents can do in the morning

There is no single correct answer common to all families.

However, there are ways to avoid cornering the person.

First, do not deny their physical condition.

If they are doubted by being told, "You are just saying that to stay home," they will become unable to talk.

Next, do not make it only a binary choice of going to school or staying home.

Go one hour late.

Go as far as the infirmary.

Spend time in a separate room.

Work on assignments online.

Only talk to the teacher on the phone.

These intermediate options can sometimes reduce the burden on the heart.

And do not evaluate the day only by the result of the morning.

Even if they could not go to school, it is important to look at small movements, such as being able to eat, being able to contact a teacher, or being able to go outside a little.

12. Support required from the school side

The school side needs a perspective that does not judge only by "whether they were able to arrive at school on time in the morning."

Children who can go from the second period.

Children who can spend time in the infirmary or a separate room even if they cannot enter the classroom.

There are also children who can meet with teachers once a week.

Allow late arrival.

Arrive at school when there are few people.

Prepare a separate room.

Adjust the amount of assignments.

Connect online.

Such flexible responses become support.

It is important to think together about ways for the person not to completely lose learning or connections with people, rather than just rushing to return to school.
13. Guidelines for connecting to medical and consultation institutions

If physical illness in the morning continues and affects the entire daily life, it is important not to carry it alone by the person or the family.

Strong headaches, dizziness, nausea, and palpitations continue.

Eating and sleeping are significantly disrupted.

Almost unable to get up.

Depression or self-blaming words are strong.

In such cases, consider consulting medical institutions or consultation agencies.

There is no need to decide on one cause from the beginning.

It is important to consult about mental distress and burdens of school life while checking the physical condition.

If the person dislikes consultation, there is also a way for parents to first connect with the school, school counselor, or educational consultation.

14. Even on mornings when they cannot go to school, learning and connections can remain

Just because they could not go to school in the morning does not mean the whole day is a failure.

There are days when they first need to rest.

Read one page of a textbook after calming down.

Watch online learning materials.

Research things they like.

Check messages received from teachers.

Go for a walk.

These things are also learning and connections with society.

There are also options other than school, such as free schools, education support centers, local community spaces, and correspondence high schools.

What is important is not to keep blaming yourself for not being able to go to school, but to create a day that suits your current state.

15. A perspective on the morning necessary for a symbiotic society

They were fine at night.

They are laughing by noon when they stay home from school.

They can play games or watch videos.

Looking only at that appearance, one might feel, "Couldn't they go if they wanted to?"

However, one cannot understand the mental and physical reactions occurring in the morning just by the visible behavior.

As a person with a visual impairment, I feel the difficulty of having others understand troubles that are hard to see from the outside.

There are cases where walls that are difficult to overcome by the individual's effort alone can be participated in by changing methods or environments.

School non-attendance is the same.

Making time, place, learning methods, and consultation methods flexible, and being able to learn and connect with society in a way that suits oneself.

That is the perspective necessary for a symbiotic society.

16. Summary

The reasons why children cannot go to school in the morning are not just one.

Sleep rhythm, autonomic nervous system switching, anticipatory anxiety about school, unpleasant experiences, tension about the classroom or relationships, burden of preparation due to developmental characteristics, anxiety about credits or career paths.
Multiple factors overlap, and the mind and body can stop moving.

They said "I'll go tomorrow" at night, but they cannot go in the morning.

They become energetic by noon when they stay home from school.

One cannot conclude that it is a lie or a weakness of character based on that appearance alone.

The person themselves may be blaming themselves for not being able to go even though they want to.

Parents are also worried about how to respond every morning.

That is why it is important not to try to solve everything in the short time of the morning.

First, check the physical condition.

Consider options other than regular school attendance.

Communicate the situation to the school.

Talk about causes and the future at a calm time.

Connect to medical institutions or consultation agencies as needed.

Each of these things becomes support.

Returning to school is not the only goal.

Being able to sleep with peace of mind.

Connecting with school from a separate room or for a short time.

Learning online or in places other than school.

Maintaining relationships with trusted people.

These are also important steps.

Even if there is a day when they could not go to school in the morning, that person's learning or growth does not end.

By searching together for the time, place, and method that suits the person, the next path will become visible.

Next time, I will explain "The reason why understanding of hikikomori is necessary" in the hikikomori series.