97. Mistakes children make when worrying about elderly parents living apart - Read in 2 minutes: The first step to end-of-life planning 🐾 Simple end-of-life planning manual

A mistake that children often make when they worry about their elderly parents and try to connect them to various care services is

unconsciously imposing their own ideas

on them. Whether it's finding lots of expired food in the refrigerator, trying to make parents change their clothes when they don't want to, or forcing them to go to day service because they think they should exercise at least a little, what the child thinks is

doing it for their own good

is often very annoying to the parents. I completely understand the feeling of thinking, "No, no, if I leave this alone, it will be bad." I have a father with dementia, so I worry about him every day too. But, parents have their own side of the story. Parents have their own thoughts too. If you don't listen to that and impose your own values as a child by saying, "Generally, this is the right thing to do,"

there is a risk that the parent-child relationship will break down.

Therefore, although it is not an easy thing to do,

trusting and watching over them

is, I think, quite important.

You might think, "If you say that, what will you do if something happens!" but

a mindset of accepting emergencies

is something that I think is necessary for children to gradually develop. The current state of your parents is a path you will eventually walk yourself. In a few decades, you will be in a similar state. I think it is important to try to imagine for a moment how you would feel if you were forced to do something or if someone imposed their idea of what is "right" on you at that time.

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