5 Differences Between People Who Grow and People Who Stall
Good evening.
I am
Takashi Ogawa, a mental coach.
Thank you for your hard work today.
How is everyone doing?
Are you growing even just 1mm every day?
When we are children, there is so much we don't know, and
since we are in a growth phase to begin with,
human growth is clearly visible.
However, as we get older,
when our daily lives become routine,
naturally, it becomes harder to feel that growth.
You might find yourself thinking, "Is it okay for me to stay like this?"
The right answer to this
is different for everyone, so I think it's fine to
live the life you envision for yourself, but
from my own values,
a life without growth is a lonely one.
Therefore, I want to live a life
where I can grow as much as possible.
So, based on my own experiences and the knowledge I've gained...
I have clarified the differences between people who can grow
and people whose growth stalls, so I will share them.
If you, like me,
think you want to grow even a little bit,
please continue reading.
↓
1. People who grow: Just try it anyway
People who stall: Overthink and can't move
People who can grow
are action-oriented.
If they think of something, they try it.
It might surprise those around them, but
they are very quick to act.
Well, if you don't act, you won't know if it's a "success" or a "failure,"
so there is no way to move forward.
Therefore, people who just try things out
think about their next move based on the results of what they tried,
so they will definitely grow.
On the other hand, people who want to do something
but overthink it cannot take action,
so their growth stops.
Humans are animals that prefer the status quo, so
once they start thinking, they will definitely look for
reasons not to take action.
I don't have time
I don't have money
I have children
Does that sound familiar?
It does to me, haha.
2. People who can grow: Aware that they are choosing for themselves
People who stop growing: Blame others
“What you eat, what you wear, your partner, your workplace”
You choose everything yourself.
People who have this awareness
can grow.
Because, since you chose it yourself,
you cannot blame others.
Therefore, it is always action (self) based.
Because you are the only one who can change.
On the other hand, people whose growth stops
always blame others (those around them).
Saying, others are bad
Saying, the company is bad
Saying, society is bad
When you think like this,
the cause lies outside of yourself,
so naturally, you will not try to change yourself.
In other words, there is no growth.
3. People who can grow: Can have healthy regrets
People who stop growing: Have unhealthy regrets
Have no regrets
To put it another way, healthy regret
means positive regret.
Things you have done
Things you have said
Afterward, you might think, “Why did I do that?”
“Why did I say that?”
You might have regrets like that, but
here, you can think, “Anyone can make mistakes like this, and many people have bounced back from them,” and “Therefore, I will do this next time!”
By doing this, you don't blame yourself excessively,
and you can come up with improvements
so you don't make the same mistake again; that is healthy regret.
On the other hand, people who stop growing
experience unhealthy regret.
In other words, this is
backward-looking regret.
Backward-looking regret essentially means
"blaming yourself and leaving it at that"
.
"Why did I do such a thing?"
"I really am a hopeless person."
"I end up causing trouble for so many people."
"I'll just stop trying."
Their thoughts spiral further and further,
and they become completely afraid to take on challenges.
Because they cannot take on challenges,
naturally, their growth stops.
Also, there are some people who do not even feel regret in the first place.
Since such people have no intention of reflecting,
they will never improve themselves.
Growth stops.
④ People who grow: Pause periodically
People who stop growing: Keep going blindly
People who can grow
pause periodically.
・Is the current direction correct?
・What went well?
・What should I do to make it go well next time?
It is the same with a car navigation system;
even after you enter a destination and start driving,
you check the screen from time to time
to see if you are on the right track, right?
Sometimes you even change the route (the means)
you are taking, don't you?
It is the same thing.
By doing this, you can reliably
reach your destination.
On the other hand, people who stop growing
do not know how to pause.
Once they decide to do something, they give it their all.
That is not a bad thing, but
what if you are desperately running
on the Yamanote Line the whole time?
You might just end up going around in circles
in the same place.
If you can stop and pause at such times,
you should be able to realize,
"Wait, I've been down this road before."
5. People who grow: Open-minded
People who stall: Stubborn
Lastly, it's simple (lol)
People who grow are, above all, open-minded.
・Advice from others
・Values different from one's own
They accept these things with an open mind
and use them to fuel their own growth.
Ultimately, who you are today is the result
of your past choices and actions.
If you don't change those choices and actions,
the results won't change either.
(And you won't be able to grow.)
By having an open mind,
you can make different choices and take different actions,
and the results will change too.
People whose growth stalls
are stubborn.
I suppose their pride gets in the way.
As a result,
・They don't listen to advice
・They don't try new things
・They don't improve
This is what ends up happening.
Summary
How was it?
Whether people say, "They've changed,"
or
"They've just gotten older
and haven't changed at all"
is determined by points 1 through 5.
If you want to grow morein terms of both ability and character,please do use this as a reference.
That is all. Thank you
for reading until the end.
Thank you very much.