What is it that children really want?
At daycare, have you ever had a moment where you were struck by watching other parents and children interact?
Thinking, 'My child would be so happy if I interacted with them like that.'
But when it comes to your own situation... it's not that simple, is it?
Even though you know it in your head, you don't have the energy, so you end up getting frustrated or just going through the motions.
I'm the same way. I've experienced it over and over again.
❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅
Hello.
I'm Odeko, a parent-child sleep coach.
Today, I'd like to think about 'what children really want,' inspired by something I noticed at daycare.
【To sleep is to live】
Nurse / Sleep expert / Mother of two.
❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅
What children really want is not a 'perfect parent'
What children really want isn't expensive toys or fancy outings.
Above all, they want 'someone who truly sees them.'
Responding to 'Mom, look!' and making eye contact.
Having their feelings acknowledged with a 'I see, that's how you felt.'
Even just that little bit leads to a sense of security for a child.
The reality that is difficult even when you know it
But in reality, we don't have the energy every day.
On the way home from daycare, I sometimes look back and feel down, thinking, 'I wasn't kind today.'
I think that's okay, though.
Because parents are human, too. We can't always respond 100% of the time.
A small moment is enough
In psychology, it's said that 'the quality of a relationship is determined by the accumulation of small moments.'
You don't need to be stuck together for long hours every day.
'A tight hug'
'Looking them in the eye and nodding'
Such short moments should be enough to fill a child's heart. I want to cherish those moments.
From my own realization
There was a time when I saw other parents and children at daycare and thought, 'I want to do that too,' but I couldn't do it well.
But just by saying at night, 'I'm sorry I got angry earlier,' my child smiled and said, 'It's okay.'
Seeing that smile, I realized, 'Ah, what my child wants isn't a 'perfect me,' but a 'me who tries to connect with them.'
❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅‐‐‐‐‐❅
In closing
What children really want is not a perfect parent, but someone who sees their feelings.
What's important isn't blaming yourself for what you couldn't do, but being able to rethink and try to 'connect' again.
Now then, what kind of "little moment" can I share with my child today?