I want to raise my child by focusing on what they can do rather than what they cannot

Hello, I'm odeco.

The day before yesterday, I was at my lowest point.

By the next day, I was back to normal.
(As expected of an old lady with nerves of steel)
(Probably thanks to Alfort and Giant Cone)

The resilient old lady with nerves of steel
went to a preschooler class at a nearby kindergarten today!!
(The one I had signed up for)

This time it was 'Let's play in English'.
(Something my eldest daughter would like, lucky me)

Given what happened last time,
I was a little bit anxious.

But

it was suuuuuuper fun!! ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟﾍ)
Huh? You're asking if I was the only one having fun? I don't think so? My daughter must have been having fun too, right? Huh? Was she not? No, she was having fun!!

When we first arrived, she cried because a friend took her toy,
(It wasn't even hers to begin with, it was the kindergarten's toy)
but she was able to talk it through and switch her mood in a short time.

She did go a bit wild at times,

like with machines she shouldn't touch,
or balls that were about to be used.

'This belongs to the teacher, so we don't touch it,'
'Let's do this instead of that right now!'
'The teacher is calling us! Let's go, let's go!'

When I said things like that,
she didn't throw a tantrum or cry,
but listened to what I had to say.

Above all,

seeing her join the circle of other children
and hold hands with the teacher made me feel truly relieved.
(Teachers are amazing, they really are teachers after all)

At the same time,

a sense of joy welled up inside me.
(This iron-willed old lady is about to cry, you idiot)
(Kazumasa Oda's 'Tashika na Koto' starts playing in my head right now)

I wasn't constantly chasing her around either,
but rather spent the time watching my daughter's behavior
and leaving things to the teacher.

Children who were crying,
children who were running around,
children who couldn't leave their moms.

There were all sorts of children.

Every single one of them was adorable.

The eyes of the children who were laughing and
actively running around
were sparkling.
(Mine falls into this category☝️)
(A fearless wild child who is fine even when alone)

The children who couldn't leave their moms
reminded me of myself in my early childhood.
(I was shy, so I know how they feel)
(When did I become this kind of personality, damn it)

The other moms around were all very pleasant too.

There were also some families where the dad brought the child.
(Alright, I'll have my husband go next time)

The songs and stories mixed with English
were just so much fun.
(I mean, I was the one enjoying it, right?)

Of course,
my daughter also listened to the teacher's story intently.
(Though she did get bored and wander off sometimes)

After the event ended,
we had the children wash their hands
and it was snack time.
(There was a membership fee, but we got snacks)

My daughter was even able to wait her turn to wash her hands.
(See, she can do it when she tries)

While the children were eating snacks,
the teacher talked about future plans and
the enrollment information session
and filling out the questionnaire.
(The teacher is smart; having us fill out the questionnaire while the kids are eating snacks is professional-level stuff. Thanks to that, I was able to write it without my daughter stopping me.)

I quickly filled out the questionnaire and
submitted the enrollment information session form as well.

Huh? Can I just end my search for a nursery school now? Isn't this the only choice? It's right next to where we live! Huh? Honey, this is the one, right? I don't have to think about nursery school hunting anymore, right?

That's how much I liked it.

The way the teacher interacted with the children and spoke to them
(reassuring tone and guidance)

the way they created an atmosphere that captivated the children
(the teacher was so skilled)

the atmosphere of the school
(it was just so clean, which is important)

seeing my daughter being held by the teacher while listening to the talk,
I thought, this is the place!

The things I was worried about
didn't happen at all.
(A certain amount of running around and crying was expected)

For starters, today
it was just me and my eldest daughter participating.

I left my second daughter with my husband.

It was a chance for me to focus one-on-one with my eldest daughter.

Perhaps because of that,
she listened to me quite well.

That's right,

this child is actually capable of listening to people!

She's even capable of waiting for her turn!

Assuming she couldn't do things,
getting depressed on my own,
and feeling anxious on my own—

it was just my own paranoid delusions as an old lady!

In preparation for this day,

my husband offered to go in my place.
He said things like that.
(Because my middle-aged mental state was wounded)

But

I'm glad it was me.

I'm glad I was the one who went.

Since my second daughter was born,
I reflected deeply on the fact that
I might have been neglecting

my eldest daughter a little bit.

I felt that I should
listen much, much more
to her words.

I felt from the bottom of my heart that I should
respond much, much more
to my daughter's "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"(Honestly, I thought it was noisy, sorry)

I felt it from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe I've been a bit too nagging lately.
(I definitely regret getting angry too much)

When I was feeling down,
my husband would often say.

"Even at the park, if you tell her 'it's your turn,' she can wait her turn, and she listens well."

"So I was surprised to hear that she doesn't listen to you at all."

Yes,

that's right.

It was me who was overlooking what she could do!!
It was me!!

Rather than what they cannot do,
focus on what they can do

That's right!!

My parenting goal for the second half of the year is

to spend time happily, enjoyably, and with a smile!

Alright! I'll go with this!

Even for the preschool class,
my daughter is enthusiastic about going right now, so she goes, but
if she says "No!" just once,
I'll quit anytime.

More, more, and more,
I will live by
focusing on
and listening to my child's voice and actions!

During lunch today,
my husband muttered this to our daughter.

"Mom is in a good mood today, so if you wash your hands🤲, she said you can sit on her lap🤫"

Hey

Stop saying I'm always in a bad mood! I'll let you sit on my lap whenever you want, as long as your hands are clean!

(Huh? It's more like 80% 👹, but is there a problem?)

Thank you for reading until the end.