Words sometimes have the power to change a life. I have come to like myself.
There is a poem that changed my life.
The way of life that seemed so far away and aspirational back then feels like it is describing me now, 10 years later.
You can change your life in the direction you desire. You can even change your personality.
It is a bit long, but I would like you to read it.
If I had my life to live over, I would dare to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax. I would be more flexible.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more risks.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I would have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I am one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I have had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I would have more of them.
In fact, I would try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I have been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.
I would live more vividly in each moment.
This is a poem written by an 85-year-old woman. Some of you may have read it before.
I was just like the author. Perhaps even worse. I was the type to overthink things so much that I would end up breaking the stone bridge I was trying to test. Of course, I was also meticulous in preparing for everything. I was inflexible and lived my life seriously as a model student.
At the time, it wasn't as if I immediately became conscious of wanting to live as she wished. I was just intrigued, and I would look back at this poem from time to time.
And every time I read this poem, I wondered: When I look back at the end of my life, will I be satisfied with things as they are? Won't I feel like her, wishing I had acted more naturally and enjoyed life to the fullest? Am I missing out on life by being overly afraid of risks?
Even if the answer didn't come immediately, I kept posing the question to myself. And when I did, the effect was remarkable.
Ten years later, I have become more optimistic than I used to be.
Before I knew it, I had adopted the very attitude of not fearing failure that was depicted in the poem.
I am happy that I have become the personality I wanted to be, of course. But what makes me even happier is that I have come to believe in my own potential. I can change in the direction I desire. I like the version of myself that can believe that.
I am in the middle of a 1-month writing habit challenge.
The topic for today, day 10, is 'Things I like about myself'.