Friendship at 34 and My First Survival Game

I went to a survival game with Y, who sat next to me at my previous job, and two of her childhood friends, making a group of four.

Y is my oasis in the office. Around the evening, when my motivation to work is at its lowest, I would wait for a moment when Y stopped working and strike up a casual conversation, asking things like, "How much was your electricity bill last month?", "If we were to have a holiday, it would be Thursday, right?", or "My hometown has the lowest hometown tax donation amount in the country," and we would enjoy chatting about nothing in particular.

One evening, with my resignation approaching, I randomly said, "I've always wanted to try survival games at least once in my life," and Y replied, "Oh, I want to try that too. Shall we go together?" I love how quick she is to act. I love it.

I immediately started looking for places in Okinawa where we could play survival games.

"Do you think we can do it with just the two of us?"
"True! I wonder about that."
"If it's okay with you, Masaki-san, can I invite my friends too?"

I had heard before that Y has a group of girlfriends she's been close with since high school, and they get together to go to various places every time they have a day off.

"A close-knit group of friends from high school"—normally, just the sound of that would trigger my severe allergy to extroverted groups. But since Y, who is a calm, introverted, and surreal person after my own heart, said, "Everyone is an introverted nerd like me, so I think it'll be fine. There's a manga lover, a comedy lover, and even a woman who loves Kaiji so much she lives a life like Kaiji," my feelings changed completely. I definitely want to get to know them. Especially the Kaiji one.

Y dropped the invitation to the survival game into their girls' group LINE. And an hour later, she said, "It looks like everyone can make it."

"I'm so jealous..."
"Huh?"

"A group of close girlfriends who you invite to a survival game and everyone replies immediately saying they'll join—I'm so jealous...!!!!"

Witnessing the dense female friendship of my beloved Tsudui-san and her four female friends, who are like "friends from a past life," I stomped on the floor, shouting, "I'm so jealousssssssss!" (I am six years older than Y.)


It's been about two and a half years since my second move to Okinawa. Thanks to that, I've made various friends, such as friends through colleagues like Y, drinking buddies, friends for quick outings, and Golden Kamuy friends with whom I can go see the live-action movie.

On the other hand, I find it hard to get close enough to anyone to send a LINE message like, "Can I come over now?? I'll bring booze and side dishes, let's watch 'The Cursed' together!!!" on a sudden whim.

In my mid-20s, during my first move to Okinawa, I had friends with that level of closeness, but they moved out of the prefecture. Furthermore, at this age, everyone is busy with work and family, so I feel hesitant, thinking, "I can't just casually invite them when I'm an unemployed person with time on my hands..."

I secretly looked on Twitter for women living in Okinawa who seemed like they would get along with me and have a relatively quick footwork, but according to Y, "People like me and my friends are all on private accounts." I want to meet golden introverts who are hiding under rocks.

I went to the survival game at the end of last year.

I was seriously not cut out for it. Among a group of all beginners, I was the one who held everyone back the most. It was behavior that even Y's merry friends, H-san and C-san, were taken aback by.

"I was shot by Masaki-san even though we're on the same team"
"I was shot for some reason right after I signaled that I was an ally"
"Masaki-san screams immediately, so I tried not to get close to her"
"Masaki-san was wandering around, so I tipped off an ally and had them shoot her"

I was seriously sorry. Also, Y quietly tipped them off about me.

In the end, I only participated in three survival games, and after that, we enjoyed table tennis and billiards at the same facility, ate and drank until our stomachs were about to burst at the curry restaurant "Adani" in Chatan, and went for a drive on the way home.

Just as Y said, both H-san and C-san were exactly the type of people I like, and I had a blast the whole time.

"Osakana-kun"
"Osakana-kun?"
"Isn't it Sakana-kun?"
"Ah"
"Osakana-kun lol"
"Seems well-bred"
"Doesn't seem like he'd say Gyo-gyo-gyo"
"Ogyo-ogyo-ogyo"
"Polite reaction"
"Well-bred"

80% of it was fluffy cotton candy talk that didn't use our brains at all. I feel like I could stay up all night laughing with these people about topics with zero productivity.

Kaiji-san, who I mentioned, was absent due to feeling unwell. Since everyone kept saying, "Kaiji is the person most likely to get along with Masaki-san," I told them to "please hang out with me again!!" while dreaming of meeting Kaiji-san. Even if we aren't friends from a past life, I hope to gradually close the distance in this one.

I also have a female friend I'm proud of.

I don't currently have any friends nearby whom I can casually invite by saying, "I'm coming over now, let's watch 'Cursed' together," but I do have a female friend who would immediately agree to, "Let's use Note as a substitute for letter-writing to keep a diary exchange, make a booklet out of it, and open a booth together at the Literary Flea Market."

Yoko-chan, one of the few friends I've had since my university days. I was such a huge fan of the mixi diary she used to write back then; it's already been deleted, but I really want her to somehow republish it.

Maybe it was last year, but she tweeted something like, "Let me know if you want a letter," along with a photo of some cute stationery, and I raised my hand in a second. We started a modest correspondence from there, and when I tried inviting her to do a diary exchange and join the Literary Flea Market with a hidden agenda, she readily agreed.

I was worried that the weekly diary exchange and the production of the Literary Flea Market booklet might be a huge burden for my busy friend, but Yoko-chan even came to Okinawa at the end of last year just to work on the booklet, and since she was there, she even madea personal essaycollection.

Having a friend who will "create" with me on something super private that has absolutely nothing to do with work... What is this happiness...! I was so suddenly and intensely moved that I shed mysterious tears on the third day of my period last time. Emotions.

So, please come to the Literary Flea Market Kyoto on 1/14!

I'll promote it as many times as I want. It's my nerve-wracking debut, after all.

I will be selling the diary exchange ZINE I co-authored with Yoko-chan, titled "Life Has Gotten Easier, But Things Still Don't Go As Planned." The price is 500 yen.

There's a moratorium of angst in your 20s, and there's one in your 34s, isn't there? This is a diary exchange between two 34-year-old women who have escaped the difficult days of their 20s and are living peaceful lives, yet now carry their own minor, unique anxieties.

The booklet being sold this time is themed around "Work and Career."
The next booklet is planned to be about "Marriage, Childbirth, and Parenting."
※Declared without Yoko-chan's permission

I will also be selling a work essay I produced individually, titled "Where Did Your Career Start? Mine Started with Getting Fired."

I've compiled my 10-year career (a.k.a. my dark history) that began with being fired. I am currently unemployed for the fifth time, and I touch upon what kind of work I will do next in the final chapter. For now, I'll be in Thailand for a while starting the week after next.

The Literary Flea Market Kyoto is finally this weekend. I really want many people to come and visit, and if possible, pick up our books, so please feel free to come by if you are interested◎

-----------------------------
Bungaku Furima Kyoto 8
Date and Time: Sunday, January 14, 2024, 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM
Venue: Kyoto International Exhibition Hall "Miyako Messe", 1F Exhibition Hall 2
Details:https://bunfree.net/event/kyoto08/

Booth: Ko-13 "Yokohama and Masaki"
-----------------------------

　
I post information about the literary flea market on my Twitter as it becomes available, so I would be happy if you could follow me. (I am a member of the Twitter old-timers' club who refuses to call it "X" no matter what.)

I tweeted the first 4 pages of my story yesterday about a fifth-year university student with high aspirations but little sense who applies for a well-paying relaxation massage job, only to find herself working as a men's esthetician, titled "If it won't be pulled, I'll make it be pulled for 100,000 yen." Please give it a read if you'd like.

Masaki's Account:@masaki_desuyo_