Are we overlooking the hearts of siblings who say, "I'm fine"?

The words "I'm fine"

When interacting with children who have siblings with illnesses or disabilities, I encounter the words "I'm fine" time and time again. Because they understand the difficulties their families face so well, many children say this of their own volition.

However, I always ask myself whether we should take those words at face value.

Why siblings put their emotions on the back burner

Siblings observe their family's situation even more closely than adults realize. They know when their parents are busy and tired. That is precisely why feelings like "I shouldn't be a burden" or "I shouldn't be selfish" often develop naturally.

This is often not because the child is truly okay, but rather an expression of kindness born from their concern for their family.

Love and loneliness exist simultaneously

There is not just one emotion in a sibling's heart. Along with love for their sibling with an illness or disability, they may also feel loneliness. At times, they may feel anger they cannot put into words, guilt, embarrassment, and even pride.

All of these emotions are natural and not contradictory. In fact, I believe that the coexistence of multiple emotions is a sign of healthy psychological development.

Supporting the whole family without blaming the parents

What is important here is not to blame parents for "not noticing their children's feelings." Many guardians are doing their absolute best to look after the entire family within the limits of their time and energy.

I believe what is needed is not to blame the parents, but to create spaces outside the home where siblings themselves can express their feelings with peace of mind.

Toward a society that listens to the voices of siblings

A place where siblings don't have to say "I'm fine." A place where they can talk about their loneliness and their pride just as they are, without having to worry about anyone else. I believe that increasing such places in our communities is something we can do.

Is there a sibling around you who says, "I'm fine"? There may be feelings hidden behind those words that they haven't shared yet.

Candidate hashtags for note

#SiblingChildren #SiblingSupport #FamilySupport #ChildPsychology #CreatingSafeSpaces #PreventingIsolation #EmotionalCare #ChildAndFamilySupport