I had been searching for my mother all along

"Mother."

It seems that when I was too young to remember, that is what I called her.

Every time she took me to a boutique, I would play hide-and-seek among the clothes.

"Mother, find me."
I would say.

Since then.
Once my memories became clear, I didn't like my mother.
Ever since I was in junior high school.

I didn't want to become like her.

That feeling occupied my heart.

Perhaps the reason I got married, left my hometown in Kyushu, and came all the way to the main island was because I wanted an excuse to leave my parents' home.

However, lately.
My mother has changed.
Little by little, she has been accepting me for who I am.
The moments I feel that way have increased.

Sometimes, there are still thoughtless words.
Because my mother is human, too.
I suppose I have become an adult myself, enough to think that way.

My mother says.

I know how hard you have worked, Nozomi.
I trust you, Nozomi.
I am rooting for you.

Just having those words allows me to look forward.

My mother, telling me this directly, even though I am a grown woman.

I had wanted those words all along.

People change.
While getting hurt, while overcoming events.

That is surely.
Something my mother's life has taught me.

There are times when our opinions clash.
Times when she forces her values on me, too.

Even so.

The words my mother gave me are gently staying by my side.

Mom.
You had been finding me all along, hadn't you?