45. It is important to know your own triggers for becoming negative

Something is wrong... why are these negative thoughts coming up so strongly?

Have you ever thought that about yourself?
I have.

And what I realized quite a while ago was thatit seems I have a trigger that switches me to a negative stateafter all.

This is a story about how realizing this made things much easier for me.

At first, I didn't realize it about myself.

I realized it after my experience with depression.

While letting go of various assumptions, I became much more mentally at ease, yet I would sometimes notice myself in an incredibly deep state of depression for no apparent reason, and

after repeating that over and over again, I finally understood.

I amslow to realize when I am fatigued.

By the time I clearly realize that I am tired, I am already in a state of significant exhaustion.

I think anyone is prone to leaning toward negativity when they are very tired, but the way I lean is extreme.

And so, I gradually came to understand thatphysical fatigue is my trigger.

It seems that in my subconscious, it is ingrained that becoming fatigued is a very scary thing that drives me into a corner and makes me suffer.

And feelings of fatigue also pull up unpleasant memories from the past.

What is terrifying is that when fatigue becomes great, thecognitive distortionsthat have now largely faded into the background are triggered with full force, and I sink deep into a swamp of negativity.
It's as if the past version of me has completely returned.

It was also about 10 years ago that I realized, annoyingly, that I seem to be prone to getting tired easily.

Therefore, what I have been keeping in mind for many years is to take a break before I feel tired. Even so, there are still times when I realize I am quite exhausted.

My unusually strong desire to push forward with tasks seems to prevent me from acknowledging fatigue and makes me keep doing what is in front of me endlessly.

That is why, when I notice that my thoughts are overwhelmingly negative, I stop for a moment and check the sensations in my body, and I realize, 'Oh, I was this tired.'

That is precisely why it was important to be aware of it.

So, it seems I have naturally been doing the work of gradually organizing in my head when feelings of fatigue arise for quite some time now.

Recently, I started to lean slightly toward negativity again, so I stopped.

I wondered why I was feeling this way even though I haven't been spending my time in a way that would cause significant fatigue, and what came to mind was temperature fluctuations.

It seems that the body starts to feel the effects of large temperature fluctuations when the difference reaches about 7°C.

When the temperature difference exceeds 7°C, people are more susceptible to its effects, which can lead to various symptoms and increased fatigue.

The temperature fluctuations lately are far from a mild 7°C.

Where I live, the difference between the high temperature of the previous day and the current day often exceeds 8°C, and the difference between the daily low and high often exceeds 10°C.

Furthermore, due to the nature of this region, there are many days throughout the year with large daily temperature swings.

Another factor involved is atmospheric pressure.

Although it has improved significantly recently, ever since I experienced depression, I have become more sensitive to changes in atmospheric pressure, and there was a period when I was quite at the mercy of it. (I rarely have headaches now.)

Recently, not only has my body been struggling with the large temperature fluctuations, but there have also been many days with poor weather, such as snow and rain, so it is likely that my body has been having a hard time.

Because of that, my thoughts were also easily pulled toward the negative.

If you understand these things about yourself, you can take measures without panicking even if you fall into a negative swamp.

I stopped comparing myself to others and lamenting.

In the past, I used to blame myself, wondering why I was so weak.

Now, I don't do that. No matter how much I blame myself, it doesn't solve anything; in fact, it only makes things worse.

I have come to accept myself as I am, and from there, I have started to think about what I can do.

By continuing to take measures that suit me within my capabilities, I have become much more comfortable both mentally and physically, which has been a great help.

There is a reason why "fatigue" has come to have such a significant impact on me, and it is tied to the fears and anxieties I have carried.

Now, the reasons and the history behind them no longer matter to me.

I believe it is important how I spend my time now and in the future, and how I treat my own body, and that is where my focus is directed.

Here is what kind of person Fu is ↓

★ Here are my thoughts on my mother, which I reached by continuing to practice what I learned from my mentor ↓

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