Giving Myself Permission to Be Alone / From Tsuzuri Masumoto's Explanation of Numerology 7
Yesterday, while I was casually browsing Threads, I came across a post about numerology by Tsuzuri Masumoto. I am generally interested in all things related to divination.
Who am I?
What kind of person am I?
I think my interest in divination and psychology stems from a curiosity to explore these questions.
In Masumoto's numerology, it seems that one is divided into these six elements:
LP (habit of thinking)
D (habit of action)
S (ultimate goal of words and actions / source of heart's energy)
P (impression from others)
M (characteristics added from the late 30s)
B (support for thinking / helper character)
It seems it can be divided into these six elements.
MyLP and S were '7'I read the explanation for 7, and even before reading the description, there were many things written that made me think, 'This is me.' However, while reading, I encountered a sentence that struck me.
It was in the section about points for making life easier for Numerology 7.
I will quote it below (the source is
here)
Because your essence is kind, you try to be considerate, but if a Numerology 7 tries too hard to be considerate of others, it often creates an awkward atmosphere, or if you try to stop being sharp-tongued, your phrasing often becomes strangely persistent. It is fine to think, 'It is enough if only those who understand me, understand me.' If there is no one who understands you, it is okay to be alone. When you can have that courage, the time you can devote to what you want to pursue will increase, and people who like that way of life for a Numerology 7 will gather, and you will be able to interact only with the people you really want to interact with, making it easier to live.
This text applies to me entirely. First of all, I am actually quite considerate, but sadly, the things I do out of consideration are often not appreciated (they weren't expected, or worse, they were a nuisance). Conversely, actions and words I took without any particular consideration were often appreciated.
This being appreciated is also strange; it happens when I have forgotten about it, or when they tell me, 'Actually, at that time, it was like this and that, and so and so,' and since I have forgotten or don't remember, I feel like it's someone else's business, saying, 'Oh... is that so?'
I should be happy because I am being appreciated, but since I don't feel like it was me at all, I feel as if someone else did it.
The order is reversed, haha,
what I wanted to talk about most this time is,
If there is no one who understands you, it is okay to be alone.
This phrase.
It sounds like giving up on being understood, and it could be taken in a negative sense, but I was very encouraged by these words.
'I see, it's okay to be alone. There was no need to force myself to be understood. I should just focus more on myself.'
That is what I thought.
Looking back, even when my partner was liberated by Kokoro-ya's magic words, it was the phrase 'It is okay to be alone.'
I haven't settled on why these words resonated with me, but surely,
A self that is not understood by others = a person who is not loved = only those who are understood are people who are loved.
I think this mysterious structure, when written out, was established as truth within me.
That is why I wanted everyone to understand me, and I was afraid of being alone. I think I have started to see that side of myself.
Since reading this text, strangely,I feel like I can actively choose to be aloneand I am a person who can think that.
I am surprised to find myself beginning to accept the exact opposite of what I have been so desperate to have others understand until now.
The part of me that wants to be accepted might show its face again tomorrow, but I feel that I want to cherish this sensation.
P.S.
This talk about being sharp-tongued is also spot on, lol.
There is a rather harsh side to me, and when I try to hide it, I end up using even more persistent or nagging expressions, which is exactly me, lol.
I think those who read my writing have probably sensed this persistence unconsciously, so from now on, I will stop hiding and show my sharp-tongued self (speaking up when I feel it needs to be clearly stated), lol.