[Video Ver.] Compass for "How to Live" VOL.10: Being Close to the Heart

Hello everyone! This is Paper Counselor Yoshiyuki.

Once again, Kishakoku-sensei has featured my article.

Thank you so much, as always! When featured on "Shakasen," I get so many likes from people other than my followers!

Now, this time, I have turned my previous text article, "Being Close to the Heart," into a video.
If you have a little time to spare, please watch it below. (Viewing time: 7 minutes 50 seconds)

If you are busy, I would appreciate it if you could read the text below.

This time, the topic is about being close to people's hearts.
Recently, in the same department at my company, I received a consultation from a manager.

"There are several troublesome people who, despite their age, only think of work as a means to make money and want to earn easily, so I want you to educate and rehabilitate them!"

I understand their feelings painfully well. I also feel that something must be done!
However, this time, I replied, "Please give me some time."

Why didn't I accept?
If we were to conduct in-house training for those troublesome people as they are now, it could lead to a situation where they feel "a different set of values is being forced upon them."
Those people might be like "sulky children," so to speak.
If we simply conducted training on the correct mindset for such people...
I wonder how many of them would actually accept it?

I am not doing "changing people" through company training.
I am merely providing a trigger for them to "want to change themselves" once they are convinced.

A person's way of thinking is like a heavy, heavy "iron door."
That door opens if you pull it, but it cannot be opened by pushing.
There is no handle on this side, so the other person has no choice but to push it open from their side.
My role is to make them feel like they want to "push" the door from the other side.

Given this situation, what kind of mindset should I have?
Let's ask a little.

You know, trying to suddenly "change" such people won't go well.
First, you must understand the reasons and background for why they became that way.

Perhaps, when they were young, they worked hard and achieved results, only to have their work stolen by their boss.
At such times, they might have been belittled by colleagues.
That might be why they lost their motivation.
Are you going to force logical arguments on such a person suddenly?

First, you know. You must listen well to their side of the story and the circumstances up to now.
After listening well, you should say, "That must have been tough. I understand."
Then, the other person will also feel like listening to what you have to say.

You should first create an environment where both sides can "listen" to each other's stories.

What do you think?
Shall we have Maki-chan share a message with everyone too?

Yes! Then, I, Maki Tsurumaki, will tell you all!

This, you know? It connects to what I talked about in the article before last, "Showing understanding of the other person's words and actions."
Do you remember?
That the other person is a mirror that reflects your own image.

If you, you know. Try to force your own values onto the other person.
The other person, you know. Since they have their own values, they will try hard to protect them.

Trying to force something and trying to protect something might look like opposites, right?
But, this, you know. It's not the opposite.

Both sides, you know. Are trying to push through their own will.
That's why, you know. No matter how much you think your own way of thinking or opinion is correct.
Forcing that onto the other person is ego.

It might be like walking into someone's heart with muddy shoes.
If you do that, the other person will try their best to protect themselves.
Then, nothing will progress, right?

So, what should we do?
After all, people's hearts are like mirrors, you know.
It is very important to show an attitude of trying to understand the other person more.
Then the other person will also think, "Well, I'll listen to what you have to say."
That is how the foundation for conversation is built.

Start from there.
I think it's good to have conversations after understanding the other person's background.

"If things continue like this, it might turn out like this."
"There is also this way of doing things, would you like to try it?"
Something like that, you know.

If you say "I'm doing this for your own good," it becomes an imposition, so I think you should try to respond with love.

You have your side of the story.
The other person has their side of the story, too.

Instead of clashing with each other.
What can we do so that both of us can be happy?
Wouldn't it lead to a better result if you directed your energy toward that?

So, "being close to the other person's heart" means...
It means having a big heart.

That, too, is one important thing that will lead you to happiness.
When you acquire many such "important things."
I think the door to happiness will open.

This time, we talked about being close to the heart.

Thank you for staying with me until the end.

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