What are the manners that make people like you?
This is a story about taking the manners you have acquired and making them your own authentic manners through the lens of "manners that make people like you."
Manners.
The collective term for your daily actions, behavior, and poise is "manners" (shosa).
The Japanese language is truly beautiful. You can say it in a cool way as "shosa," or in a lame way as "shosa" (lol). Well, I just can't think of any other Japanese word with the same meaning.😅
What kind of things are "manners that make people like you"?
As far as I can think of off the top of my head, it means "actions that make people feel, 'That's nice.'" So, I asked Google AI specifically what kind of manners those are.
Manners that make people like you are actions and attitudes that give others a good impression and build good human relationships. Specifically, this includes smiling, listening well to others, trying to use polite language, and understanding and respecting the other person's position. Specific examples of manners:
Smile:
A smile makes you seem approachable and has the effect of giving a good impression. Try to always have a smile.Greetings:
Greetings are the foundation of human relationships. Greet people politely at appropriate times, such as when you meet them, when you part, or when you express gratitude.
Active listening:It is important to listen carefully to the end without interrupting the other person. By showing interest in the other person and showing empathy, the other person can talk comfortably.
Empathy:By trying to understand the other person's feelings and situation and conveying words of empathy, the distance between you and the other person will shrink.
Language:
Polite language shows respect for the other person and at the same time enhances your own dignity.Grooming:
A clean appearance gives a good impression to others.Compassion:
It is important to think about the other person's position and actively reach out if someone is in trouble.
Gratitude:Convey your feelings of gratitude for the benefits and kindness you receive in daily life through words and actions.
Keep promises:Once you have made a promise, be sure to keep it.
Don't lie:
If you lie, you will lose the trust of others. Try to have an honest and sincere attitude.Furthermore, when practicing these manners, it is good to be aware of the following points as well:
Naturalness:By interacting with an unadorned, natural attitude, the other person will feel more at ease and open their heart to you.
Humor:
A sense of humor has the effect of softening the atmosphere and making communication smoother.Positive thinking:
Positive thinking also has a good influence on the people around you.Self-affirmation:
By viewing yourself positively, you can act with confidence.
By being aware of these manners, you will be able to become an attractive person who is liked by more people.
It gave me an answer like a textbook (lol). It's really guiding me, isn't it?😅 AI, and very specifically too. As expected.
Seeing such a refreshing answer, it wouldn't be strange if you were impressed by the many specific examples listed and a short-sighted thought occurred to you that "if I acquire these, people will like me!"
However, wait a minute here! It is a little too early to be happy about these and feel like a fish that has found water.
While there is no doubt that these specific examples are all for the purpose of being liked by people, an important perspective is missing. Unfortunately, no matter how much you look at these, you won't understand "why people like you?"
Hmm? Do you think there needs to be a reason to be liked? (meaning, is it necessary?)
Yes, it is necessary.^^ And it requires an understanding of the special essence.
There is an essence to "why" people like you. Here, let's approach that essence while looking at the background of the process of being liked.
It is a fact that just because you learn manners that make people like you and practice them, it doesn't mean people will like you. Therefore, to get closer to the essence, it is necessary to pinpoint the reason why people are liked, and then perform those manners with that knowledge.
When do people develop feelings of liking someone?
The emotion of 'liking' someone is your own heart directed toward them. The feeling of 'liking' grows from the sensation that you can entrust yourself to them, or that it is okay for them to enter your inner world. When you are in such a situation, what do you think is the state of your own mind and body?
When a person expresses the emotion of liking someone, it is when they are feeling stable. If you are not stable, the emotion of 'liking' rarely emerges.
This means that for someone to like you, they must be in a 'stable state.' That is a state where the other person feels comfort and safety.
Any manner, as long as it is one that makes the other person feel comfort and safety, prepares the way for them to like you. Furthermore, when your presence blends into the person who feels comfort and safety because of the manners you have cultivated, that is when people come to like you.
Being liked means developing the manners you have acquired into ones that 'provide peace of mind to the other person,' transforming the manners you used as mere armor into ones that allow your true self to emerge.
Being liked is something that follows afterward. It comes after the manners.
Even if you think this and that and cultivate manners in order to be liked from the start, unless you understand the essence of being liked, you will not be liked by others. It may sound harsh, but this is reality.
But if you can realize this, being liked by others is not that difficult. Review your own manners and consider how you can provide comfort and safety to the other person.
There is such a thing as cool manners. They are manners where you subtly do something that benefits the other person without forcing it on them. Cool manners not only provide comfort to the recipient, but they even change the atmosphere for everyone watching. It is amazing if you can reach this point.
Let me write down one good thing.
If you want to be liked by people, observe the other person's actions very carefully, and at the very moment they are thinking they want 'so-and-so,' smoothly hand it to them—even if it's just one small gesture.
If you can do this for the other person reliably just once, to put it extremely, you have practically won your future love (laughs).
Also, people who see cool manners are enveloped in an atmosphere of 'that's impressive,' which turns into various kinds of emotions. The feeling of 'that person is amazing' that cool manners sprout can even become material for a short essay in a newspaper or magazine (laughs).
Before long, you might be able to create your own original manners, and your manners might become perfected. Once that happens, you'll be a natural charmer!
In the end, it turned into #WhatAreYouTalkingAbout (laughs).
Let me summarize in one line at the end.
Manners are not just something you acquire; by sublimating them into your own, you can elevate yourself.
Now, shall we try straightening our backs, even just from now? Posture is the absolute basic of basics when it comes to manners.
What are the mannerisms of #WhatAreYouTalkingAbout? But I feel like I'll never find the essence of this no matter how much time passes (lol).
#Mannerisms #Gestures #Behavior #Actions #Psychology #BeingLiked #Communication #LifeTips #33DayWritingChallenge #15DayWritingChallenge #66DayWritingChallenge