A day when I just wanted to see the flowers properly, but felt a little tired

Yesterday, for the first time in a while, I went to a crowded place by myself.
I went because I wanted to see the cherry blossoms properly, but
before I knew it, I found myself just looking at the people.

To those who also feel tired in this way, for no particular reason.

⸻

I don't intend to compare myself to anyone, but
it feels like the atmosphere around me is doing the comparing for me, and it gets a little suffocating.

Whether it's being cute, standing out, or being normal.
Even if it's not said out loud, I feel like those things are just hanging in the air.

I feel like Japan has this kind of "atmosphere of comparison" somewhere.

Even if I pretend not to care,
there is a part of me that notices it all, and it makes me a little tired.

⸻

I just wanted to see the cherry blossoms.

But what was there was
people taking photos, people enjoying food, people talking to others, and
I felt like there weren't many people actually looking at the flowers themselves.

It's not that there's anything wrong with that, but
for some reason, I felt a little lonely.

⸻

I was just standing there, looking at the cherry blossoms, but
I started to feel like I was standing out a bit.

Even though I was just doing something normal,
I felt like I was being looked at as "someone doing something unusual."

I just want to see them properly, but
that is just a little bit difficult.

⸻

But,
I still want to keep looking at them properly.

The fact that the flowers are blooming,
the atmosphere of the place,
and what I felt myself.

⸻

There are days when I feel a little tired, but
even so, I want to keep looking properly.