April Review | Days Spent Heading Out

Good evening.
I wonder if some of you are already approaching the long holiday. Whether you have plans or are spending it relaxing, it's something to look forward to.

In this year's monthly horoscope,
April was environmental stress.

It's a time when you easily get tired from the atmosphere of the new fiscal year,
and easily absorb the busyness of those around you.

Also, as a panic tendency,
mild anxiety is likely to occur in the evening was also mentioned.

If you're wondering what that's about, click here.

Looking back...
It's true that with meeting new places and going out every day, there might have been some fatigue.

However, contrary to the fortune-telling prediction,
this month was a "month where I was able to spend time stably even while going out".

I will look back on this month's challenges.

1. Two meals out that I was able to enjoy

This month, meals with relatives were concentrated, and there were two of them.

Since I was able to eat well during the meals on my Shinkansen trip last month, I was sure it would be fine this time too...! I approached it with that thought.

Especially for the second meal, 14 relatives gathered, and I was worried about whether I would get nervous due to the number of people, but the result was absolutely no symptoms.

Since the start time was past 1:00 PM and the car ride also takes an hour, I had a Weider in Jelly as a snack beforehand as a countermeasure against low blood sugar during the car ride.

While chasing after my child who was walking around here and there,
I was able to enjoy my meal calmly.

The feeling that "crowded places = anxiety"
was being gradually overwritten by the feeling that "it's okay even if there are many people," and I could really feel that.

2. The start of nursery school

Starting this month, I used the "Childcare for Everyone System,"
and nursery school once a week began.

When I returned to work last year, the heat of midsummer also added to it,
and I was in a state where I would have panic attacks just from the drop-off and pick-up.

Because of that experience, I was honestly anxious, but this time,
even thoughI felt nervous on the way there,after arriving, I was able to stay calm, leave my child with the childcare worker, and head home.

In the mild spring weather,
dropping off my child while feeling the pleasant breeze.

On the way home, walking under the cherry blossom trees with my child,
the fear from last year was gone, and I was filled with "calmness" and "a sense of security."

I don't think I will ever forget this view.

3. Going out every day

Last month, I bought an electric bicycle to go out with my child.

This has suddenly expanded my range of movement,
allowing us to visit various indoor and outdoor playgrounds.

Although I feel a little nervous when going to new places,
it doesn't lead to unpleasant anxiety,
and the number of days I can spend the whole morning outside has increased.

I go out almost every day when the weather is nice.
Through that repetition, my anticipatory anxiety has also calmed down significantly.

Since we are entering a season where it will be difficult to go out due to the heat, I want to fully savor this feeling of being able to move aroundwhile I can.

Above all, every time I see my child playing happily in various places, I truly felt, "I'm glad I went out."

Lessons from this month:

・"Having anxiety" does not mean "I cannot do it"
・Accumulating small successful experiences definitely turns into a sense of security
・Mental stability can be created by preparing the environment (seasons, means of transportation, reducing burdens)

And above all,
"places that were once scary can be overwritten with calm memories."

Summary:

April was not just a month of working hard, but rather
a month where I gradually regained "the version of myself that can go out without strain."

Things that were scary last year
are okay this year.

The change is very quiet, but
I believe it is proof that I am definitely moving forward.

At this rate, without rushing, but without stopping,
I want to continue moving forward atmy own pace.

Bonus

Tomorrow marks the beginning of May.
I am heading back to my parents' home for a 4-day, 3-night trip.

It is about a 6-hour drive one way to my parents' home.
It has been since last November.
The highway and the food courts at the service areas,
I am sure I will be fine.
I am going to see my parents while enjoying the time with my family.

Going to see the people I want to see,
going to the places I want to go.

I am going to enjoy the long weekend!