It is okay to be happy; those words made my heart tremble

‎𐮛 Thoughts as they come 𐮛

---

It is okay to be happy.
That is what she told me.
Those words
lit a fire in my heart.

To find happiness,
as if it were asking for the impossible,
as if it were something base,
as if it were something that would make someone sad,

there was something
that was suppressing me.

The fire she lit in my heart
eventually became a great flame,

and that something
that had been suppressing me
was turned to ash in an instant
and vanished.

I will make myself happy.
That determination will surely come true.

No,
it will definitely come true.

---

There is a term called self-affirmation.

If I were to use that term to express it,
I suppose my self-affirmation was low.

That must be it.

But, being categorized by that one term
is something I find incredibly annoying.

Since I was little,
many people have loved me.
I cannot even think of a reason
why my self-affirmation would be low.

Conflict with parents?
The environment I was born and raised in?
The words that were said to me?

Even though I am so blessed,
even though I am helped so much,

why am I not fulfilled?

That indescribable,
bottomless bitterness,
that endless despair.

Wanting to be happy
is proof that I do not love the present.
I should be grateful for the environment I have been given.

To me, who was gasping for air
after forcing myself to believe that over and over,

she said,

It is okay to be happy.

At those words,
my heart trembled
and began to move.

It is okay to be happy.
That has now turned into a conviction within me.

We can be happy.


＊


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