[No. 46] How to cope when you feel down comparing yourself to others' achievements on social media <Part 7>

Regarding the "comparison fatigue" we have touched upon several times, this time we will delve deeper into more concrete ways to deal with it.

When you feel down after seeing others' savings achievements on social media, we will organize how to recover your spirits on the spot.

Understanding the moment comparison occurs

The comparison fatigue mentioned in Part 5 and Part 12 often occurs unintentionally.

When you are casually browsing your timeline and a report of someone else's achievement catches your eye, you unconsciously compare it to yourself—this sequence of events is considered to happen almost reflexively.

The first thing to understand is that the act of comparing is a natural reaction, and there is no need to blame yourself for it.

The issue lies in how you handle your feelings after making the comparison.

Initial response when feeling down

1. Close the timeline on the spot

The moment you feel down, it is effective to close the app once rather than continuing to look at the timeline.

As mentioned in Part 12, comparison fatigue accumulates through repeated exposure, so stopping the influx of information right there is the first step to preventing it from getting worse.

2. Remember the nature of the "visible information"

As mentioned in Part 9, consciously remind yourself of the premise that posts on social media are only a part of real life and are often edited or presented in a specific way.

By pausing to think, "There must be parts of this post that I cannot see," you can lighten the weight of the comparison.

3. Look at your own records

If you have your own records, such as the "Savings Timeline" covered in Part 23 or the "Know-how Notebook" from Part 11, take some time to look back at them.

By shifting your perspective back to your own journey rather than others' achievements, you can replace the impatience caused by comparison with an awareness of your own pace.

Looking at what lies at the root of the disappointment

In addition to temporary measures, it is also effective to look back after some time has passed at why you felt particularly down about that specific post.

• The impatience of "I have the same goal, but I haven't achieved it yet"

• A decline in self-evaluation, thinking, 'I can't come up with such ingenious ideas myself'

• Simply put, the content of the post was too close to my own situation, so I couldn't think of it as someone else's business

The perspective of 'shifting the axis of evaluation from money to actions,' which was touched upon in No. 30, is also useful in this moment of reflection.

Instead of comparing others' achievements with your own, refocusing your awareness on 'what actions you are accumulating right now' will help support your recovery from feeling down.

Dealing with recurring comparison fatigue

Beyond dealing with a single instance of feeling down, if comparison fatigue occurs repeatedly, you need to return to the perspective of 'cleaning up your follows' covered in No. 12.

• Review accounts that tend to cause you to feel down, and consider muting or unfollowing them

• Adjust the time and frequency of checking social media using the idea of 'limiting viewing time' mentioned in No. 12

• Check whether it is a time when you need rest, in conjunction with the self-checklist for saving fatigue mentioned in No. 31

By considering fundamental environmental adjustments alongside one-time symptomatic treatments, you will be less likely to repeat the same feelings of being down.

Attempting to convert the perspective of comparison into 'learning'

When you have the capacity, there is also the idea of reframing the emotions born from comparison as material for learning, rather than just letting them end in feeling down.

• Try analyzing 'why that post was successful' as a mechanism rather than an emotion (application of the discernment perspective mentioned in No. 9)

• If there are elements that seem applicable to you, try incorporating them within a reasonable range

• Let go of elements that cannot be applied (such as when the prerequisites are too different) as 'information irrelevant to me'

However, this is only when you have emotional capacity. If you try to force a shift to positive learning when you are feeling very down, it may conversely lead to suppressing your own emotions.

It is best to prioritize calming your feelings with the initial response mentioned above, and try this perspective when you have more capacity.

There is no need to aim to be someone who never compares

As a final important perspective, let's confirm that there is no need to aim to be a 'strong person who does not compare.'

Comparison is a natural reaction for humans, and it is not realistic to eliminate it completely.

The goal is to reach a state where, when you do compare yourself, you don't get too discouraged, can maintain a healthy distance, and return to your own pace.

The habit of thinking in terms of a "passing grade," which we touched on in Part 6, is also useful for dealing with comparisons as a way to avoid demanding perfection.

Next time, we will cover how to shift your mindset to break free from "perfectionist frugality."

We will delve further into the theme of perfectionism, which is also deeply related to comparison.