The Adventures of a 37-Year-Old Complicated HR Woman in Marriage Hunting #6 (On First Dates and the Difference Between Romantic Interests and Non-Interests)

I went on a date with someone I met through a referral (he looks like a certain composer named Konishi, so I'll call him Konishi for now).

He's a cool older guy who doesn't look like he's over 40.
He's also financially independent.
He treats me to meals in a smart way. Perfect.

But the downside is that he also likes to enjoy his hobbies alone or hang out in large groups.
Why do only people like this end up being my romantic interests... That's probably because I'm the same kind of person, though.

I thought it was a date, you know.

Then, for some reason, a junior guy he always calls out when drinking was there. So it wasn't just the two of us?

I don't know if it was because it was awkward, or if it was his consideration to make sure I didn't feel guarded...

We met during the day for this date.
We went around to various standing bars, and it was a lot of fun to learn about so many different places.

Recently, the number of standing bars in Fukuoka has increased, hasn't it... The food was also very delicious.

But the problem starts here.
Konishi is a huge baseball fan. (Or rather, in Fukuoka, there are so many passionate SoftBank fans that if you aren't interested in baseball, you're treated like a rarity.)

On this day, too, as soon as it got to be evening, he said he was going to watch the Climax Series and we parted ways without a second thought.
Yeah...

But this is also my own shortcoming; I think it's a classic dating and communication technique to research things that men, especially in Fukuoka, are interested in, like baseball, so that you can like them yourself or at least talk about them. I actually do this in interviews.

Despite that, this complicated woman here says 'I'm not interested' and doesn't do it, and honestly tells them so...
'I like it too!' is all I had to say, and maybe we could have watched it together.

Because, even though I was taken to the stadium many times since childhood for hobbies other than my own, I could never enjoy it... Sorry, don't get mad, baseball fans.

There's no such thing as a person who has absolutely no annoying traits or points where you don't match, right?
So, you have to find a balance between sticking to your own ego and compromising or adjusting to the other person.
Besides, a woman who says 'I like that too!' to the things the man likes is simply cute and well-liked.
(By the way, this technique of 'saying you like the other person's hobby or trying to do it together so you can learn to like it' is apparently also a method used by marriage scammers.)

I know that in my head... but I can't put it into action.

It became an event that made me reflect on my own incompetence...

It might also be that I'm still at a stage where I can't bring myself to try hard enough to be liked that much.

Another thing I felt is that people who are 'complicated,' both men and women, not only don't push forward themselves, but also desperately try not to show their affection...
I thought this might be the reason why we are both still single even after reaching our late 30s.

Since neither of us pushes forward, there's no progress no matter how many times we meet, and we both end up thinking, 'Oh, they don't see me as a romantic interest...' and eventually stop meeting.
It's highly possible that I'm in this state with the person I'm seeing now.

So, I thought I should try to convey my affection more clearly in the future, such as by being more proactive myself.
As for Konishi... if we ever meet just the two of us lol

The next time is undecided, but I'm thinking of making an appointment to meet someone I matched with on a matching app in person soon.