Gentle Connections and the 'World That Begins'

The other side and this side. There are all sorts of lines drawn in all sorts of places, aren't there? People get deeply hurt by them, resign themselves to them as if they can't be helped, or find themselves unable to stop resisting even when they know nothing will change.

To begin with, what is 'the other side'?
What kind of people are 'this side'?

Perhaps people have found comfort in dividing things into 'that side' and 'this side.' Even though that comfort might be as formless and insubstantial as mist, we act as if things that don't exist are real and continue to make distinctions.

They don't even imagine that there are people being hurt by the way they act as if that distinction is justice itself.

We are 'here and now.'
Because we are 'here and now,'
you and I are here.
We are looking at each other.
We are talking.

That is a miracle. A series of miracles.
Even if something is missing, or something is too much,
we could not be together 'here and now.'

I don't like the phrase 'you should do this or that,' but
I will use it intentionally. I think we should pay respect to the miracle of being 'here and now,' living in the same era.

You are a person who does not belong here.
I am a person who should not be here.
What do such thoughts produce?

For example,

someone works,
someone does housework,
someone goes to school,
someone raises children,
someone provides nursing care,

and just like Mom did, there are also those who are recuperating.

And, in the end, everyone returns to dust.

In each of our places, we fulfill the role given to us
to the best of our ability. That is enough.
I don't think it is anything more or less than that.

There are times when I feel miserable and want to lament how unhappy I am.
There are times when I feel like I might collapse from the ambiguity of the position I am in.
There are times when I want to scream out loud at the sheer unreasonableness of it all.

That is what it means to fulfill a role. It means struggling to live out this life to the fullest. I want to be someone who does not laugh at those who are struggling to fulfill their roles. I want to be someone who supports them. And I want to be that kind of person myself. I want to hold my head high, even while crying.

When Mom was still young, she was frail and had many opportunities to see a pediatrician. It was always Dad who took her to the hospital. After the examination, when we stepped out into the hallway, a very, very large man was standing there.

Mom said,
'You're so fat~~'
and laughed while looking at the man.

Then, my usually gentle father became furious, like a raging fire, and in a quiet but strong tone, said,

'That is wrong. No one has the right to laugh at others. Apologize.'

I couldn't accept it. I had only said that someone who was fat was fat. Even though I couldn't accept it, I was overwhelmed by my father's fury and reluctantly apologized. Seeing that, my father bowed his head deeply to the older boy and his mother, saying, 'I am so sorry. As a parent, I am ashamed. Please forgive me.'

Even after we returned home, my father's anger did not cool; he wouldn't let me eat lunch, and even when I tried to speak to him, he wouldn't answer... I finally began to realize what a terrible thing I had done.

My father said,
'There are all kinds of people in this world. Some may look different, and some may not be able to speak, but they are people living their lives just as hard as you are. I will not forgive you for laughing at those people. Never do it again. Can you promise me that?'

He was squeezing the words out as if it were very painful. Mama nodded deeply and,

'I won't. I won't laugh at people. I promise.'
I engraved it in my heart.

Someone fulfills someone's role.
I fulfill my role.
Mama thinks that perhaps that is how society functions well.

Making fun of people, mocking their efforts,
imposing your will to show off your power, or scaring others,
that is not how you confirm your standing, is it?

You are allowed to be you.
I am allowed to be me.
That is all there is to it.

That is what Mama thinks of as
'a gentle cycle and connection. A world that begins.'.