Love Felt Beyond Sorrow

When I was a high school student suffering from anthropophobia, the laughter of those around me, their gazes, and the noise of the crowd.

Everything pierced through me and hurt.

I was swallowed up and could barely breathe.

I was lonely during this time.

I was always running away, and I always ate my meals alone.

Afraid of being hurt any further, I tried to distance myself at one point.

I tried to quit school and pretend that none of these connections existed.

I felt like I was going to be crushed by my inferiority complex, thinking that because I was a failure, I couldn't have a sparkling school life like the other kids.

That is what I had convinced myself of.

I thought it would be convenient if there were people who were obviously unpleasant, but everyone in my grade was kind. The kindness of those around me made me feel miserable.

They would greet me with normal smiles, and even though they were smart, they weren't arrogant.

They gave their all in club activities, were good at both academics and sports, and could do anything.

(Stop it, please stop it... I hate myself more and more.)

Unable to believe in anything, I even doubted the kindness of others and could not open my heart.

I even thought that I shouldn't be here.

Everyone had their own primary group of friends, and since I knew I would never be anyone's first choice, I thought I should just read the room and quietly leave.

When winter came, it got chilly, and the loneliness became even more pronounced.

In classes where we needed to pair up, I was always the one left over.

I was afraid of being rejected if I asked someone, so I couldn't make a move myself.

"You have to talk to them yourself, don't you?"

I felt even more depressed when a classmate I was taking a course with said that to me.

At the time, I thought it was none of their business.

Looking back now, I find myself thinking, 'Yeah, you're right' (laughs).

Especially in middle and high school, I spent my time trying to hide that sense of loneliness.


But thanks to experiencing so much loneliness, I finally understood.

Having friends is an incredibly happy thing.

I was finally able to realize this after overcoming social anxiety disorder.

The moment I felt especially happy waswhen I was sharing a meal with my friends.

The feeling of being allowed to be there and being one with my friends.

Ever since I discovered this feeling, I have come to cherish the time I spend with my friends very much.

The sight of everyone smiling from the bottom of their hearts while eating delicious food is such a luxury.

I realized that this is what it means to be wrapped in love.

For a long time, I often ate meals alone.

When I was alone, there was no conversation, and it wasn't fun.

I couldn't eat out either, so I didn't know much about restaurants and couldn't keep up with those kinds of topics.

Now, I look forward to eating out with friends.

It's a huge change.

Food eaten while wrapped in a sense of security is truly delicious.

Gratitude and relief.

The moment the wounds I had carried until now were healed was 'happiness'.

'I am very happy right now.'

I was able to say that with certainty.

Because eating with others was a difficult thing,
each and every meal is a special time, and I am happy.

I, we, are kept alive by these various forms of 'love'.

Wrapped in kindness, we are sharing precious time.

That time is priceless.

This also means that 'you don't need a single yen to be happy'.

If I had continued to be swept away by sorrow, I am sure things would be different now.

I might not have been able to enjoy eating out with friends.

I probably wouldn't have awakened to what I want to do, either.

It is a matter of how quickly you can stand up from sorrow.

This choice is left to each individual.

When you are in sorrow, what do you think?
What kind of life do you lead?

Life is asking us this.

And I believe that beyond the sorrow, we discover what we are meant to do.

I want you all, too, to
find your true selves after overcoming your sorrow.

Let's live together, persistently, without giving up, and tenaciously!

Conclusion

Usually,
・Finding it hard to live because you care about what others think
・Getting nervous, blushing, or having your mind go blank every time you interact with people
・Being afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of others or being thought of as strange
・Being swayed by others' evaluations and lacking confidence
・Getting hurt by every harsh word from others
・Looking down because you are afraid of others' gazes
・Being unable to perform when it counts because your hands and feet shake
・Being afraid of dining out because you think people are watching you eat, etc.
I focus on those who are troubled by such interpersonal fear, social anxiety, and human relationships, and I offer a 60-minute free individual counseling session.

Please tell me anything.
Teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc., all ages are welcome (^^)/
You can sign up for counseling immediately by registering as a friend.

I have also published an e-book! (^^)/
It is now on sale at Amazon to great acclaim!
It can be read for free with Kindle Unlimited.
This book is condensed with things I can convey precisely because I am a former social anxiety disorder sufferer, as well as life lessons gained through my experiences (self-harm, toxic club activities, social withdrawal, failing entrance exams, isolation at prep school and university, etc.) is condensed into this one book.

Beyond the reviews, I have received many happy comments from those who have read it.

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On note, I mainly post about my experience with social anxiety disorder, how to overcome interpersonal fear and anxiety to live happily, and my mindset.

If you like it, please give it a 'like' and follow me (^^)/

Thank you for reading until the end!