Late-Stage Elderly, Still Playing the Game of Life
──A memoir by a former engineer living in Ningyocho, Tokyo──
From the threshold of old age in Ningyocho
Three winters ago, I realized I had joined the ranks of the "late-stage elderly." I am currently 78 years old. My wife is the same age. We live quietly together, breathing in the atmosphere of the downtown Nihonbashi Ningyocho district in Tokyo.
I was working full-time until four years ago. Thankfully, I retired (presumably) while still missed. Now that I have become a "person who has finished," I focus on the small pleasures of daily life and try to spend my time as peacefully as possible.
From post-atomic Hiroshima to Tokyo
I was born in January 1947 in Hiroshima city, where the scars of the atomic bomb were still vivid. I am what is called a "second-generation hibakusha," but I have never felt any particular physical effects from it.
I moved to Tokyo at age 4 due to my father's job transfer. At 22, I graduated from the university's engineering department and joined a certain steel company. At the time, the high salary was the most attractive thing. Since then, I have worked steadily and diligently without ever straying far from the path.
Marriage and the growth of our sons
I met my wife when I was a student, at the age of 20. Well, I think she was beautiful (probably). There were ups and downs, but we married at 25 and were blessed with two sons.
Our married life has had its waves and its calms, but we have accumulated years quietly without any major trouble. Before I knew it, "living together" had become completely routine.
As an engineer, as a manager
I worked as an engineer until my 30s, and I have obtained about 150 patents worldwide. I think to myself that I "did quite well," but I have decided not to check how others evaluate me.
At 53, I was sent to head a subsidiary in Niigata. My wife accompanied me, and we spent eight years in that seaside town. In between work, we often traveled to places like Hokkaido, Kyoto, and Okinawa. It was a fulfilling time where work and play were balanced.
After that, I returned to Tokyo at 61 and became the president of a listed company. I wasn't the type who was good at standing in front of people, but I was blessed with excellent employees, and with the luck of the times on my side, business was good. I finished my term at 67.
Salaryman overtime, Himeji edition
Just when I thought, "This is retirement," I was scouted as a manager by a company in Himeji. I returned to the field again, and for seven years until I was 74, it was, so to speak, overtime in my life as a salaryman.
On weekends, I would stay at inns in Kyoto with my wife and go to jazz live performances in Kobe. Living in the Kansai region for the first time was full of new pleasures.
Living with illness, a resolution
Four years ago, right after returning to Tokyo from Himeji, esophageal cancer was discovered. Hearing it was Stage III, I thought, "Is this it?" Still, I couldn't give up, so I placed my hope in advanced medical treatment called proton beam therapy and underwent a month and a half of treatment at a hospital in Chiba. Fortunately, it settled down for a while.
However, it recurred a year later. Although I underwent PDT treatment using an endoscope, it recurred again a month later. I dealt with it with PDT again, but I know there is no next move. Fortunately, there was no recurrence last year. Now that I am in a state of remission, I am continuing regular checkups without letting my guard down.
The Supervisor and a quiet life
Currently, I am under the 24-hour surveillance of my wife—no, "The Supervisor." Alcohol is strictly prohibited. I am also cutting back on the things I like little by little. What am I living for... honestly, sometimes I don't know, but well, as long as I am alive, I will live accordingly.
Seeing off parents, passing on the generation, and now
My parents passed away 15 years ago. My two sons are 52 and 48, each with their own families and working hard. The generational change has been completed safely. My role of passing the baton to the next generation is over.
Now, my days are filled with reading, writing trivial things on my computer, and walking around Ningyocho to explore lunch spots. I have plenty of time. That is precisely why I spend my days as if savoring them slowly.
Preparing for the ending and hope
Recently, at the instruction of The Supervisor, I have created a will by notarial deed and have already prepared my own posthumous Buddhist name. I have also already chosen my funeral portrait, and my wife and I laughed together, saying, "Isn't this fine?" I am in a state of mind where, whenever I pass away, I leave the rest to you.
The game of life is not over yet
The time I have left may not be that long. But I won't end it yet. I want to play the rest of the game of life while enjoying a little more change.
I refuse life-prolonging treatment. When the time comes, I want to leave quietly and cleanly. Thinking like that, I am walking the back streets of Ningyocho again today.