Anxiety and Depression... 3 Ways to Instantly Recover from Negative Emotions

I made a small mistake at work.
It was just a typo in a file name.

But my senior pointed it out coldly, and I couldn't say anything back.

During lunch break, as I watched my colleagues chatting and laughing, I felt like I was the only one left behind, and I suddenly felt like crying.

On the way home, even looking at my smartphone didn't cheer me up.

"Was I always this bad at my job?"
"Why can everyone else be so confident?"

...There are moments like that, aren't there, when you start to hate yourself more and more.

Is it inevitable to be swallowed up by emotions like this?

That is not the case.
Psychological research also lists many ways to control your emotions.

According to these studies, just by having the habit of "looking at emotions objectively", you can learn to distance yourself from those emotions.

For those who want to know how to "get along well" with feelings of depression and anxiety instead of being pushed around by them.

Here are three practical tips and three recommended books to help lighten your heart.

3 Ways to Distance Yourself from Emotions

1. Bring your consciousness back to the here and now ~From "being caught up" to "observing"~

Another simple way to break the "circular thinking" that drags on negativity is to bring your consciousness back to "this very moment."

For example, the following exercises are recommended.

・Take 3 deep breaths.
Focus on the "sensation of air entering your body" when you inhale.

・Focus on what you are touching right now
(e.g., the coldness of a handrail, the weight of your smartphone, etc.).

・Put into words what you see, as if you were providing a live commentary in your mind
(e.g., "Gray sidewalk, green light, students in uniforms walking," etc.).

This is a method called mindfulness, a technique to pull your consciousness back to the "now" from the distractions of the "future" or "past" in your head.

You can stop in the middle of the flood of thoughts and create a space where you can breathe a little.

It may seem plain, but by repeating it, you will grow into someone who, even if they have anxiety, is not controlled by it.

2. Try giving your emotions a name

For example, suppose that after being pointed out by your senior, your chest feels tight and you think, "Oh, I'm really useless."

At this time, if you identify that voice as "yourself," you will be swallowed by the vortex of emotions and unable to escape.

That is exactly when you should try giving that emotion or thought a name.

・Here comes Perfectionist-kun again
・Oh, the anxiety speaker is ringing
・The confidence thief has started making noise

By giving them names like this, you can treat those emotions as "someone inside you" rather than "yourself."

This sense of distance is important.

In psychology, this is a technique called "defusion," which has the power to turn emotions into observable objects.

It's as if various characters are sitting in a conference room inside you.

You can gently face them, thinking, "Perfectionist-kun is giving his opinion again, but that's not the whole truth, is it?"

3. Try personifying your emotions and talking to them

Taking it a step further, there is also a method of trying to have a dialogue with that emotion.

For example, when you are feeling down because you were "scolded again..."
Name that feeling of disappointment "Disappointment-san" and try asking it questions.

・Disappointment-san, what happened today?
・Why are you blaming yourself so much?
・Could it be that you want someone to recognize that you are trying hard?

By doing this, you can notice the "true voice (desire for approval or anxiety)" deep within the emotion, or gently receive what that emotion wanted to tell you.

With these three methods, you can keep yourself objective without being swallowed by your emotions.

And actually, the contents of 2 and 3 are based on a psychotherapy called ACT.

Taking distance from thoughts and emotions (ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

In the psychotherapy "ACT," which has been attracting attention in recent years, instead of trying to control thoughts and emotions, you improve your skills totake distance and observe them.

For example, when you feel down at work, even if you tell yourself "I'll try not to worry about it" or "I'm overthinking it," the cloudiness in your heart doesn't easily disappear, does it?

In ACT, instead of blaming that "self that worries," you acknowledge it by saying, "I see, I'm worried."

Then, you train to look at those emotions and thoughts from a little further away.

・Try perceiving the "voice that blames yourself" as a "chatty DJ's voice" in your head

・Personify the thought "I might fail again" as a "worrywart character"

In this way, you can face what is happening inside you calmly without being dragged along by it.

Even just labeling the voice that says "I'm no good" as "This is the voice of the 'Critic-san'" should help ease the heaviness of your feelings.

The following books carefully explain methods that are easy for beginners to put into practice.

3 Recommended Books to Help You Feel Lighter

"ACT to Make Your Heart Feel Lighter" (by Fumiki Handa)

A book that explains ACT, which can often become overly technical, in simple terms.

By giving thoughts and emotions a cartoon-like character, you can learn the trick to avoiding getting swept up by them.

The content carefully teaches you how to face the "dark side" that words possess.

"ACT Made Simple (2nd Edition): An Introduction to ACT You Can Use Starting Tomorrow" (by Russ Harris)

This is a more systematic guidebook for those who want to thoroughly learn the theory and practice of ACT.

It explains the six pillars of ACT in detail, such as "defusion (taking distance from thoughts)," "acceptance (accepting emotions)," and "values-based action," and provides careful follow-up on points where readers often stumble.

It is rich with exercises, such as treating emotions and thoughts as personified images like "The Worrier," "The Critic," or "The DJ's Voice," and realistically depicts "how to face your feelings" in actual daily life.

Additionally, the "Choice Point" at the end of each chapter is popular as an exercise that is easy to practice even during busy days.

"ACT: Mental Exercises for Managing Anxiety and Stress" (by Takashi Muto / Shufunotomo)

A gentle introductory book on ACT that is also attracting attention from the WHO.
It contains numerous concise exercises to help you break free from "circular thinking."

The content is concrete and practical, including "defusion," "breathing techniques to connect to the here and now," and a "board game for acting in accordance with your values."

It is approachable with illustrations and is highly rated as being "the easiest and most understandable."

Just by keeping this book on hand, you can acquire a "self-reset method" that allows you to respond immediately to depression and stress.

Conclusion: A Kind Distance for Yourself

When you are feeling down, the more you think "I have to cheer up," the more painful it can become.
At such times, instead of trying to force yourself to be positive, start bysimply acknowledging, "Oh, I'm feeling down right now"and go from there.

Then, try to face your inner "Perfectionist" or "Anxiety" while keeping a little distance.

A little space will be created in your heart, and you should find some room to look forward.