The day a trial ended the moment it began—a story about meeting someone with a changed hairstyle
“People are 90% appearance” is a common saying.
For those of us who teach online, that appearance is likely our profile photo.
Students look at our photos before meeting us to decide which instructor they will study with.
I remember experiencing that in the most painful way possible.
It happened on the day of a trial lesson.
The student who entered the lesson room disappeared before we could even exchange greetings.
I thought it might be a network issue, so I waited for a while, but the student didn't return.
After a while, I checked the schedule and found that the reservation itself had been canceled.
I had a hunch it was my hairstyle.
When I went to Kenya last year, I tried out African hair.
Even after returning to Japan, I kept it that way for a while because I wanted to show my existing students.
In other words, I was sitting in front of the screen with a head of hair different from my profile photo.
When the reservation came in, I hesitated a little about whether I should tell them beforehand.
But I thought it would be fine, so I went into the day without saying anything.
After that, I sent a message, but there was no reply.
Finally, I sent a message saying that I might have surprised them with my hairstyle and that I was sorry, and that was the end of it.
Since I never heard the reason, I can't definitively blame it on my hairstyle.
It might have been an urgent matter.
However, I couldn't think of any other reason, andI think the fact that I hesitated to tell them was the answer itself.
At the moment I hesitated, I knew myself that there was a discrepancy.
After being picked up by the spine
I once wrote about the situation of increasing numbers of instructors by comparing it to the spines of books lined up in a large bookstore.
It was about whether or not someone would spontaneously pick up a book from a shelf where hundreds of books with similar titles were lined up.
I think the profile photo corresponds exactly to that spine.
It's not just the title that is lined up on the spine.
The color of the binding and the texture of the paper are also seen in those same few seconds.
In terms of a profile, the beginning of the introduction is the title, and the photo is the binding.
However, there is something I didn't write back then.
Even if it gets picked up, if you open the cover and the content is different from what was expected, the book is returned to the shelf.
When trials don't often lead to continuation, I think this gap is the problem.
The role of the spine doesn't end with just getting it picked up, does it?
Even if you think about buying clothes online, you don't read the list carefully.
You scroll at a speed that feels like browsing, and only open the ones that look good.
Reading the price, material, and reviews comes after that.
Since students are likely the same, it's better to assume that the time they give you to make a judgment is only a few seconds.
And in my case, those few seconds continued even after the screen switched.
The story of the 55 percent figure
When this topic comes up, the Mehrabian model always appears.
55 percent of the first impression is determined by appearance, 38 percent by tone of voice, and only 7 percent by the content of the speech.
This is the explanation that appearance is important.
I also thought that was the case for a long time.
However, when I looked into it, this figure was for a much narrower situation.
The original experiment dealt with cases where the content of the words and the facial expressions or voice were inconsistent.
For example, suppose someone says "I'm fine" while sighing.
Even though the words say they are fine, most people will interpret it as them not being fine.
It was a study that investigated what people believe in such cases.
It does not mean that all conversation is made up of these percentages.
I think this is an example of a figure taking on a life of its own.
However, the original meaning is more effective for my failure.
When there is a discrepancy, what people believe is the appearance.
It's not just a story about when you try to look better than your photo.
Even if it's just simply different, that is conveyed in the first few seconds.
A perfect photo and a photo that is easy to talk to
When looking at Threads, I sometimes see Preply ads for Chinese or Korean tutors mixed in with Japanese tutors.
The female Chinese and Korean tutors all have photos as polished as models, and they certainly catch the eye.
I think to myself, 'How lovely, what a beautiful person,' and find myself looking at them for a while.
However, catching someone's eye and getting them to sign up are two different things.
It might be easier to understand if you think about a gym.
When you decide to start exercising, a full-scale gym with great facilities like Gold's Gym looks attractive.
But when you peek inside and see people who are already highly trained, you might feel hesitant to step in as you are now.
Isn't that how beginners often feel?
There are people who thrive in exactly that kind of environment.
They are the type who feel motivated to improve because everyone around them is serious.
Looking at the same facilities, people are divided into those who feel motivated and those who feel intimidated.
Japanese lessons have some similarities.
There are students who want to continue because they can meet that specific teacher every week.
That is a perfectly valid motivation, and I believe there are tutors who successfully attract students that way.
However, a lesson is also a time to show someone where you make mistakes.
There are definitely students who feel too nervous to speak if the teacher seems too perfect.
I feel safe showing my imperfect self to this person, whether or not they feel that way has nothing to do with the beauty of a photo.
That is why I think when taking a photo, the question isn't how to look beautiful, but rather what your own strengths are.
If you are a cheerful talker, keep that smile; if you are good at listening calmly, project an atmosphere of comfort.
Polishing yourself up doesn't always make things better.
A photo that is polished in a direction different from your true self is like wearing borrowed clothes.
The fact that the size doesn't fit usually comes across to the other person during the trial lesson.
Election posters and what happens after you are chosen
When I created my Preply profile, I found election posters to be a helpful reference.
They are made with the assumption that they will only be looked at for a few seconds, and yet the candidate needs to be chosen.
These two points are very similar to a tutor's profile.
Looking at them again, every poster shows the candidate with good posture, eyes looking toward the viewer, and clean-looking clothes.
The words written are short, and the colors are chosen to match the candidate's vibe.
Everything is placed there to create the impression in a few seconds that 'this person can be trusted.'
You can do the same thing with a video.
What I am careful about is saying my initial greeting in Japanese in a slightly higher, clear voice.
Even if I think I am speaking as I usually do, when I watch the recording, it can sound lower than I expected.
If I am conscious of keeping it a bit higher, it comes across just right.
The first thing you hear from a campaign car is usually a high, projected voice, and it starts with their name.
That is likely because they know they only have a split second before a passerby looks away.
The start of a profile video is in the same position.
Just as there is nothing unnecessary in a poster, you should tidy up the background of your video. This might be something to do before listing your qualifications.
I think there are times when refining your first words is more effective than refining the content of your speech.
However, there is one difference from a poster.
Candidates don't come to meet voters one by one after being elected, but tutors meet their students face-to-face every week after being chosen.
Therefore, I think polishing your appearance also means taking responsibility for that appearance.
The version of you in the photo must be a continuous extension of the version of you that appears in the next lesson.
Keep your cleanliness, smile, and vocal brightness within a range you can reproduce every single lesson.
Thinking about it that way, it is ultimately easier not to embellish.
Of course, hairstyles do change.
I loved that African hairstyle, and my existing students were very happy with it.
There were days when half the lesson was filled with talk about Kenya.
It is not that you shouldn't change it, but rather that if you do, you should have replaced the photo or mentioned it beforehand.
If it were now, I would tell them the moment I felt hesitant.
After having someone pick you up by your spine, don't let them read the contents and put you back on the shelf. Lessons begin before the booking is even made.