A place for the heart.
https://note.com/noimannosuke/n/n18bb58b451f5
Where is the place for my heart...
While I was searching for that,
I came across Noimannosuke-san's note✨
Perhaps because I am an HSP,
I am basically always careful around anyone.
In my childhood—
My mother was strict, often immediately rejecting my opinions
and getting angry at the slightest thing.
As a result, I was the type of person who would walk on eggshells around my parents at home.
This year marks 17 years since I married my husband.
My husband has a mental illness,
and even though it is mild, I still have to be careful here as well,
and I feel like I haven't been able to truly relax from the heart.
Who is my true self...?
Honestly, I have spent my days without really knowing.
・To avoid being disliked by anyone.
・Just going along with those around me for now.
---Because that was peaceful for me,
enduring things became the norm.
Since starting my current job [Children's Day Service],
there is a rule to [not get angry] and [not use negative words].
For the children,
I feel that this is a place where they can be fully accepted✨
judging by their lively expressions.
From my various experiences up until now,
I have realized once again that [negation] makes people shrink away.
・Having your opinions accepted.
・Having your stories empathized with.
・Feeling loved.
・Being embraced completely.
Because such a place exists,
I feel like I can think that it's okay to be me ⭕️,
and that it's okay to be me with all my joys, angers, sorrows, and pleasures ⭕️.
I feel like I can believe that.
Since I encountered this note,
I've been able to vent things I usually can't say,
vent the feelings I usually keep bottled up inside,
and there are people who give me likes and comments...
Knowing that there are people who empathize with even someone like me 🥹
has definitely become my emotional support and my place.
I have always lived for others,
lived for someone else.
But.
The real me was always lonely somewhere.
Because there was no empathy there.
Because there was no 'thank you' there.
I didn't know my own worth.
Right now, in front of my husband, I am like this 🤔
But
I have a place for my heart.
What has become my emotional support is
someone who empathizes with my stories without denying them,
someone who even adds their own opinions,
someone who gets angry with me at my complaints,
and someone who reacts to me.
Someone who accepts me completely.
Someone who says thank you.
The people you feel comfortable being with are
✨my place✨
I was able to realize that
with my loved one and on note
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.