15 Years Old, I Just Wanted to See You. Episode 21: I Don't Want to Let Go
Before I knew it, it was the day before I had to go home.
“That was fast...”
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Even though we had been meeting almost every day since then, time had passed in an instant.
Tomorrow, Toshi and Kazuki would return to their hometown.
It wasn't like we were breaking up.
That’s what I was told.
Even so, the fact that we would be “apart” remained unchanged.
After school, I headed to our usual meeting spot.
Today, the atmosphere felt a little different from the start.
“Good work today.”
“Good work.”
As soon as Toshi saw me, he naturally pulled me into his arms.
“You’re too close.”
Even as I said that, I didn't feel like pushing him away.
Misaki and Kazuki were also closer than usual today.
All four of us must have known.
From tomorrow on, we wouldn't be able to see each other like we used to.
Maybe that’s why no one cared about the “time to go home” that day.
We ate, went to the arcade, and laughed at silly things.
Even though we were just doing the same things as always, everything felt special.
“Is it just me, or is it quiet today?”
Kazuki said with a laugh.
“Isn't it you guys who are quiet?”
“No, I mean you, Yu.”
When he said that, I found myself laughing a little, too.
I probably wasn't smiling very well.
The reality of being apart was slowly creeping closer.
But.
I didn't want to cry today.
At the very least, I wanted to keep smiling properly today.
Before I knew it, it had gotten quite dark outside.
“Should we head home soon?”
At Kazuki’s words, the air grew a little quiet.
“Yeah.”
Misaki nodded slightly, too.
On the way home.
It should have been no different from usual, but today there was a little less conversation.
“Keep in touch, okay?”
“You too.”
We parted ways with Misaki and Kazuki.
After that, I walked side-by-side with Toshi.
“Are you coming over?”
He asked quietly, and I nodded without saying a word.
Toshi’s room.
The moment the door closed, he hugged me tightly.
“...It’s tight.”
I said with a small laugh.
But Toshi didn't let go.
The same room as always.
The same distance as always.
Yet, everything felt different today.
Tomorrow is when we part.
The moment I thought that, my chest suddenly felt tight.
“What’s wrong?”
“...It’s nothing.”
In truth, it wasn't nothing.
I don't want to be apart.
I don't want you to go home yet.
Those were the only words that kept coming to mind.
He kissed me lightly and pulled me onto the sofa.
We didn't speak for a while, just holding each other.
In the quiet room, only the sound of the TV played.
“...I don't want to go home.”
Suddenly, Toshi whispered softly.
For a moment, I didn't understand what he had said.
Until now, he had never shown me such an anxious face.
“Huh?”
When I asked him to repeat it, Toshi smiled a little and,
“No, it’s nothing.”
As if to brush it off, he kissed me lightly once more.
That kindness made it hurt even more.
I don't want to be apart.
Surely, Toshi felt the same.
Being in Toshi’s arms was so warm it was painful.
I don't want to be apart.
That feeling was being conveyed from every place we touched.
“...Hey.”
I called out softly.
“Yeah?”
When I looked up, Toshi was right there.
The moment I looked into his eyes, my heart tightened again.
Tomorrow, we will be apart.
It’s not like we won't be able to see each other.
I understand that perfectly.
Even so, I won't be able to be by his side like this.
I won't be able to touch him when I want to.
I never thought it would be this painful.
“Today...”
My voice trembled slightly.
“Yeah.”
“...I don't want to go home.”
The moment I said it, I felt like I was going to cry myself.
Toshi narrowed his eyes slightly and touched my cheek without saying a word.
His hand was so gentle that it made me want to cry even more.
“I won't let you go.”
He whispered in a low voice and kissed me deeply.
It was gentle, yet somehow desperate.
It felt as if our feelings of not wanting to be apart were overlapping.
He pushed me onto the sofa, and kisses rained down on me again and again.
A small breath escaped me as his lips touched my neck.
“...Yu.”
Just hearing my name made my heart burn.
While being held over my clothes, he touched me repeatedly.
It was quieter and more careful than usual.
As if he were confirming everything before we had to part.
“I love you.”
A raspy voice fell by my ear.
That one phrase was enough to make everything I was holding back crumble.
“...Me too.”
Before I knew it, I was clinging to him.
I don't want to be apart.
I want to stay like this for as long as possible.
That night, Toshi kissed me gently and held me many times.
Every time we touched, I felt my anxiety and loneliness melting away.
I love you.
It hurts so much to be apart.
Even after everything was over, Toshi kept me locked in his arms.
“...I really don't want to go home.”
He whispered in a sleepy voice, and my heart ached again.
I laughed softly and buried my face in Toshi’s chest.
Listening to his heartbeat, I wished that tomorrow would never come.
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