The 'Power to Stand Alone' Increases Your Options in Life and Work | From the Front Lines of a Judicial Scrivener & Life Partner
There is a quote by Nietzsche that goes something like this.
The difference between having just one friend and having no friends at all is infinite.
This quote was a commentary on the way of life of the philosopher Schopenhauer, but I felt that this single sentence encapsulates the essence of 'independence' in life and work.
For me, as a judicial scrivener who has become independent and has stood by many people in their life choices as a life-partner consultant, the importance of this 'power to stand alone' has accumulated as a daily realization.
This time, using this news article as a starting point, I would like to delve a little deeper into how 'standing alone' affects life, based on my own philosophy and experience.
The power to stand alone means creating a state where you can choose without being dependent.
I believe that the most important thing in life is to be in a state where you have options.
That means options for income, options for how you work, options for human relationships, and above all, the state of being able to decide for yourself.
Just as Schopenhauer emphasized the 'power to stand alone,' standing on your own two feet means having the ability to maintain yourself without being dependent on anyone else.
This is not to advocate for loneliness. Rather, it is precisely because you have this 'power to stand alone' that your relationships with others become richer and healthier.
Before I became independent, I belonged to an organization. Of course, there were aspects where I was supported by the stability of the organization and its human relationships, but at the same time, I felt cramped by the fact that there was so little 'room to choose for myself'.
That is why I made the choice to become independent.
It was not because I 'wanted to be alone,' but because I 'wanted to be in a state where I could choose for myself'.
Relationships that do not rely on dependency create true connections.
In the article, Nietzsche says, 'The difference between having just one friend and having no friends at all is infinite.'
I understand this quote to indicate not the 'number' of friends, but the value of their 'quality' and 'independent ways of relating'.
I value my connections with people very much. My relationships with my clients and my business partners are all irreplaceable to me.
However, I believe that these relationships can remain healthy precisely because I am 'standing on my own'.
If I were dependent on someone or interacting with people while in an economically or mentally unstable state, I would have 'expectations' or 'attachments' toward the other person. That would bind the other person and cause me suffering as well.
That is why I always want to maintain a state where I am okay even on my own.
On that basis, connect with someone. Be grateful to someone. Support someone.
I believe that such relationships are truly rich and free human connections.
Whether you can fill your 'time alone' by yourself makes your choices free
The article states that 'not fearing time alone and cultivating the ability to face yourself will, as a result, improve the quality of your connections with others.'
This is one of the things I realized most after becoming independent.
When you are independent, no one gives you instructions. No one praises you. There are moments when you feel lonely.
However, when you stop fearing that 'time alone,' face yourself, make your own decisions, and move forward on your own, strangely, 'freedom' increases more than 'anxiety'.
And this 'freedom' is what becomes the foundation for expanding life's options.
The reason I became an independent judicial scrivener and why I work as a life partner consultant is entirely because I wanted a life where I could make my own choices.
Because it is a life I chose myself, I can accept any result. I don't blame anyone else. That is the condition for a 'life well-lived' for me.
The 'power to stand alone' can be cultivated by anyone
So, how can you cultivate the 'power to stand alone'?
I believe that this power is something anyone can cultivate.
It is not something grand; it is the accumulation of small daily choices.
For example,
Building an economic foundation that allows you to live without depending on others
Having hobbies or habits that allow you to enjoy time alone
Having your own opinions and practicing expressing them
Having the resolve to accept failure yourself without blaming it on someone else
Such small accumulations will eventually cultivate the confidence that 'it is okay to be alone.'
I myself did not succeed immediately after becoming independent. I felt anxious, and I experienced many failures.
However, it is precisely because I have accepted each of those experiences as 'the result of my own choices' that I am where I am today.
And the 'power to stand on my own' that I gained in that process has brought great freedom to my life.
What I want to convey as a Judicial Scrivener and Life Partner Consultant
The work of a judicial scrivener is to support people within the framework of the law.
But what I truly want to do is support people in creating a state where they can 'choose for themselves'.
For example, for those considering starting a business or becoming independent, I not only support the legal procedures but also think together about their future life plans and work options.
This is because I value a 'life where I can choose for myself,' and I want to share those same values.
And as a Life Partner Consultant, my mission is to continue to stand by my clients so that they can walk a life where they 'do not depend on others and can stand on their own two feet'.
Relying on someone is by no means a bad thing.
However, there is a big difference between a 'state where you cannot live without relying on others' and a 'state where you can choose to rely on others'.
It is the latter state that I want to support.
Standing on your own, and then connecting with others. Being appreciated by others. I believe that is the richest kind of life.
Because you are 'okay on your own,' you can choose to be with others
At the end of the article, it was written like this:
'It is enough to just slightly reframe time alone not as something lonely, but as time to face yourself.'
I deeply empathize with these words.
People who do not fear time alone and can face themselves can also spend time with others more richly.
Not depending, not clinging, just being there naturally.
That is possible because there is a sense of security in knowing that 'it is okay to be alone'.
For me personally, the time I spend alone since becoming independent has come to feel more like 'freedom' than loneliness.
And it is precisely because I have that freedom that I have become able to truly choose to be with someone.
Conclusion | 'Having Options' Enriches Life
I believe that the most important thing in life is to be in a state where you have options.
This applies to everything: how you work, your relationships, and how you live your life.
And to increase those options, you first need the 'ability to stand alone'.
To not be dependent, to choose for yourself, and to decide for yourself.
Building on that, to connect with others, share gratitude, and support one another.
That is the life I idealize, and it is the way of living I want to convey to my clients as well.
As Nietzsche said, 'The difference between having only one friend and having none at all is infinite.'
I believe this is not a matter of numbers, but a matter of the quality of the relationship—how you engage with others after becoming independent.
If you are currently suffering because you are dependent on someone, or if you fear being alone, please start by creating a state where you are 'okay even on your own'.
That is not choosing loneliness, but rather the first step toward increasing your life's options and making the time you spend with others even richer.