Diary from around February 21st to 28th
February melted away in an instant. The latter half of February was just incredibly busy. I was simultaneously handling rehearsals and production preparations for "The Notebook," rehearsals and production preparations for "I Will Provide a Bright Future and Suffocation," local research and writing for "Ryuryu Tenten" hosted by the Kobe Cultural Foundation, while also meticulously organizing a mountain of receipts for my tax return. I kept thinking I had to write the greeting for the Menicon Theater Aoi's next fiscal year lineup proposal, finished and submitted the nursery school anthology, invited a nursery school friend and their mother over whom I had promised to host for a long time, and then, like a festival, every member of my family came down with a fever one after another. No, it really was a festival.
January and February are generally the season for getting sick. But for some reason, in our house this year, no one had been sick even once all winter until the first half of February, so I was overconfident. One day, suddenly, one person developed a fever, and before I knew it, it had spread to everyone. Moreover, two of the family members are still children. I used the time I had planned for work to nurse them, and the care continued until the middle of the night. When I finally became a patient myself, I finally had some time, so amidst the fever, loss of appetite, and muscle pain all over my body, I re-watched the movies that are in the Menicon Theater's lineup for next year. My 8-year-old asked me, "Why are you crying?" but I couldn't answer well. It wasn't because I was feeling miserable.
After recovering, I made hot ginger tea. I boiled organic lemon, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, bay leaf, chili pepper, and ginger, sweetened it with muscovado sugar, and drank it.
I finally recovered, and since I physically didn't have enough time, I used all the time I would normally spend zoning out for work, but even then, it wasn't enough. As soon as I woke up, I would organize receipts, have the children eat, and the moment I sent them off to school and nursery school, I would write text right there at the dining table. I would leave the house at the last minute to head to the Art Center, rehearse from morning until evening, and then prepare the script for the next rehearsal in the production room at the Art Center. After returning home, taking a bath, and eating with my family, I would have meetings for composition arrangements and introductions. Before I knew it, my family, who I always sleep with, would all be asleep, so I would think, "This is my chance!" and work on the text again... It felt like that, and strangely enough, I could just keep working endlessly; I had to consciously put on the brakes myself or I wouldn't stop. This is the first time in my life—no, it's not that being busy is a first, but that I could work endlessly is a first—and actually, while I'm screaming, there's a part of me that's happy. It feels like I'm living every corner of my life without any neglect. I think I might never experience such happiness again in the future, but then again, I think I might discover different joys as I get older. Because right now, I'm very happy that I was able to notice that there is a gradation in winter.
If I'm happy that I can notice the changes in the seasons, I feel like I'll be okay until I die.
Even though I'm this busy, I don't feel at all like I'm the only one working hard because everyone around me is a professional, and they keep picking up the things I say I'll do and then spill over... I have to make sure I don't say I'll do things from now on, me.
This morning, together with my 4-year-old, I acted out the scene where Bowser kidnaps baby Princess Peach in the forest and demands marriage over and over again from the morning. I'm busy becoming Bowser, then Princess Peach's mother, then Mario. After doing it about three times, I was already tired, and when I said I didn't want to do it anymore, the 4-year-old lured me by saying, "I'll marry you next time!" I should have known better, but I replied, "Really!?" so I ended up having to play Bowser about three more times.
Today is Yasuko-san's acting award ceremony. I have time for the first time in a while until then, and when I thought, "I can get a lot of work done at once!" I was so happy that I ended up writing this diary.