From Someone Who Couldn't Enter Starbucks Alone to Becoming a Regular - How I Started Going to Cafes

Introduction: Watching the Inhabitants of Another World Through the Glass

The Starbucks in front of the station. The interior, visible through the large glass windows, was always bustling.

Businessmen working on their MacBooks. College girls chatting happily. A woman with glasses reading a book alone. Everyone was there as if it were the most natural thing in the world, drinking coffee as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

But for the me of the past, that was an otherworldly place I couldn't enter.

“A Grande Caramel Macchiato, please.”
“Extra whipped cream, please.”
“Can I change this to soy?”

The words of the orders I heard through the glass. What language was that? A code? I had no idea.

I always walked right past it. If I wanted coffee, I’d get a canned coffee from a vending machine. I told myself that was enough.

The True Nature of Cafe Phobia

Why was I so afraid of cafes? There was no end to the reasons.

1. I don't understand the ordering system
The size names make no sense. What is a Tall? A Grande? A Venti? Why can't we just use small, medium, and large?

2. The menu is too complicated
I don't know the difference between a cappuccino and a cafe latte. Is espresso the bitter stuff? Is a Frappuccino a drink? A dessert?

3. Talking to the staff is scary
“Are you eating in?” “What size cup?” “Do you have a loyalty card?” I felt like I was going to be bombarded with questions.

4. The clientele is intimidating
Everyone is so stylish. If someone uncool like me went in, I’d definitely stand out.

5. I don't have the confidence to spend time alone
What should I do after I order? What should I do at my seat? Is it weird if I’m just messing with my phone?

6. It's expensive
500 yen for a cup of coffee is insane. A 100-yen canned coffee is plenty.

In short, it was such an unknown world that I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of embarrassing myself.

The Turning Point: A Forced Event Called a Business Meeting

The reason I ended up entering a cafe for the first time was because of a business meeting.

The feeling of despair when a client said, “Let’s have our meeting at Starbucks.” I couldn't refuse. I couldn't escape.

The night before, I desperately researched the Starbucks menu. I searched YouTube for “Starbucks for beginners” and “How to order at Starbucks.” It was like studying a language before traveling abroad.

On the day, I arrived 30 minutes before the appointment. I took a deep breath in front of the store.

"It's okay, just do it like I practiced."

I made up my mind and opened the door.

"Welcome!"

A bright voice. It was more normal than I thought. Well, of course it would be.

I headed to the register. I eavesdropped on the previous customer's order. "An iced coffee, tall." Oh, so a normal order is fine.

My turn. My hands were sweating like crazy from the nerves.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Uh, um... a hot coffee... in the middle size..."

"That would be the tall size of today's coffee."

"Y-yes."

"May I have your name?"

My name? Why? I panicked for a second, but I answered honestly.

"I-it's Kenta."

"Thank you. That will be 385 yen."

It was cheaper than I thought. And the interaction was more normal than I expected.

My First Stay: 30 Minutes of Agony

I had 30 minutes until the client arrived. I took the coffee I received and looked for a seat.

The window seats were full. The back was full too. In the end, I sat in an awkward seat near the restroom.

Now, what should I do?

I look around. People working on PCs, people reading books, people talking with friends. Everyone is just there, naturally.

I took out my smartphone for the time being. But I didn't know what to look at. I didn't want to check social media. I wasn't particularly interested in the news either.

In the end, I just stared at the clock. One minute felt so long. I felt like I reached my limit in five minutes.

I drink the coffee. It's hot. And bitter. I forgot to add sugar and milk. But I don't have the courage to go get them now.

15 minutes have passed. I want to go home already.

At that moment, I noticed the woman sitting at the next table was quietly reading a book. She was enjoying her own time so naturally and in such a relaxed way.

Oh, I don't actually have to do anything.

That realization made me feel a little more at ease.

I spent the remaining 15 minutes just zoning out. Listening to the music in the shop, feeling the aroma of the coffee, and watching the bustle of the people.

It wasn't bad, surprisingly.

The process of getting used to it little by little

After that encounter, I started going to cafes little by little.

At first, once a week. On Saturday afternoons, aiming for times when it seemed less crowded.

Stage 1: Same shop, same menu
For the first month, I went to the same Starbucks and had the same hot coffee. No adventures.

Stage 2: Expanding my menu choices
I tried a cafe latte. It had milk in it and was easy to drink. This is pretty good.

Stage 3: Trying out different shops
Doutor, Tully's, Excelsior. I conquered the chain stores. Each one has a different atmosphere, which is interesting.

Stage 4: Independently owned cafes
I gathered my courage and went to a small, independently owned cafe. The owner said, Welcome. It was homey and relaxing.

Stage 5: Being able to enjoy time alone
I started bringing books with me. At first, paperbacks. Once I got used to it, I started bringing a notebook too. To think things over or write in my diary.

Things that changed by spending time in cafes

Since I started going to cafes, my life has changed significantly.

1. My range of movement has expanded
Whenever I hear that a new cafe has opened in that area, I go to check it out. My perspective on the city has changed.

2. Spending time alone is no longer painful
In fact, the time I spend alone in a cafe has become a precious refreshment time.

3. I have developed observational skills
People-watching has become a hobby. Couples' conversations, businessmen on the phone, students studying. It's like a notebook for novel ideas.

4. My concentration has improved
I learned that moderate background noise (white noise) actually increases concentration. I get more work done there than at home.

5. I can enjoy small luxuries
I no longer think a 500-yen coffee is expensive. It's the special time and space I can buy for those 500 yen.

That "cafe" of memories

There is a cafe that is special to me.

It is a small, privately owned cafe in a residential area a little way from the station. It has a plain name, "Coffee Shop Mame."

When I first entered, the master (a man in his 60s) said.

"You're a first-timer, aren't you? We don't have much on the menu, is that okay?"

"Oh, yes. As long as I can drink coffee..."

"Then, I'll brew today's recommendation. Is there anything you don't like?"

"Not particularly..."

"Understood. Just a moment, please."

I sat at the counter and watched the master brew the coffee. The sound of grinding beans, the way he poured the hot water, the rising aroma.

"Here you go, sorry to keep you waiting. Ethiopian beans. It's fruity and easy to drink."

I took a sip and was shocked. It was so delicious that I wondered what the coffee I had been drinking until now was.

"It's delicious."

When I said that honestly, the master smiled.

"Really? I'm glad. You know, coffee changes completely depending on the beans and how it's brewed."

After that, I started going once a week. I also began to talk to the manager little by little.

"You look tired today. Should I make it a bit stronger?"
"You've been reading a lot lately. Is it interesting?"
"Did you get a girlfriend? Your face looks brighter."

They notice small changes and reach out to me. It's a warm distance, not pushy at all.

This cafe became my "third place." A third location that is neither home nor work.

A New Challenge: A Cafe Date

Once I got used to cafes, a new challenge awaited me: a cafe date.

A woman I met on a matching app invited me, saying, "Would you like to grab some tea at a cafe?"

The old me would have panicked. But since I was used to cafes, I was able to reply, "That sounds great," with ease.

The day of the date. We met at the Starbucks I frequent. Since it's my home ground, I felt a bit relieved.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Kenta."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Yumi. It's a pleasure to meet you."

We headed to the register. I wanted to act a bit cool here.

"What would you like? It's my treat."
"Oh, are you sure? Then, a Caramel Macchiato, please."
"What size?"
"Tall, please."

I ordered smoothly. To the old me, this would have seemed like a miracle.

We sat down and started talking. I was nervous at first, but the cafe's atmosphere helped me out.

"Do you come here often?"
"I come here two or three times a week. During breaks from work."
"That's nice. I've also recently gotten into cafe hopping."

When you have common topics, the conversation flows. We shared recommendations for cafes and talked about our coffee preferences.

Two hours passed in the blink of an eye.

"I had a great time today. Let's go to another cafe sometime."
"Yes, I'd love to."

The cafe date was a success. It was the moment I truly felt glad that I had started going to cafes.

Life Lessons Learned at a Cafe

I have learned a lot since I started going to cafes.

1. A comfortable place is something you create yourself
The cafe that felt uncomfortable at first became my own place as I kept going.

2. Small acts of courage lead to big changes
The small courage of "entering a cafe" has enriched my life.

3. The importance of time alone
Time spent with others is important, but time spent relaxing alone is also necessary.

4. The fun of observing
Just watching people's activities leads to various discoveries.

5. It doesn't have to be perfect
Even if you order the wrong thing or fail at choosing a seat, that is all part of the experience.

Practical advice: To you who want to make your cafe debut

If you also want to go to a cafe but can't find the courage, try using this advice as a reference.

1. Do some research

• Check the menu and prices online

• Look at photos of the interior to get a sense of the atmosphere

• Aim for less busy times (weekdays from 2 PM to 4 PM are recommended)

2. Keep it simple at first

• Start with a "hot coffee" or "iced coffee"

• For the size, just saying "medium" is fine

• If you're unsure, ask "What do you recommend?"

3. Prepare your belongings

• A book or magazine (so you don't feel awkward)

• Earphones (to listen to music and relax)

• Small change (for smooth payment)

4. Don't fear failure

• Even if you mess up your order, the staff will handle it kindly

• Even if you choose a bad seat, you can just use it as a lesson for next time

• Don't strive for perfection

5. At your own pace

• Starting with 30 minutes is fine

• Extend your time once you get used to it

• Don't force yourself to stay for a long time

Conclusion: I'm writing this manuscript at a cafe today, too

Actually, right now, I'm writing this text at my favorite cafe.

The background music is jazz. At the next table, a college student is studying. At the counter, a regular is chatting with the owner. Outside the window, daily life flows by.

The cafe latte in my hand has heart-shaped latte art. At first, I thought, 'What is this? How embarrassing,' but now I think, 'It's cute.'

If the me from two years ago saw this, it would be an unbelievable sight.

'Wait, you're at a cafe alone? And you're confidently opening your PC to work? No way!'

But this is my daily life now. It's nothing special. It's just normal.

The cafe has given me so much. A place to relax, time to think, new encounters, and small joys.

Why don't you also gather your courage and open the door?

You might be nervous at first. You might stumble over your order. You might feel uncomfortable.

But it's okay. Everyone was like that at first. I was, too.

If you take that first step, a new world awaits. With aromatic coffee, relaxing time, and a special place just for you.

Well, where should I go to a cafe today?

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