The Night of Overcoming—The Moment I Believed 'I Can Change'
Days filled with excuses to run away
I was laughed at by the whole class during elementary school reading aloud, and I protected myself by playing the 'quiet character' in both middle and high school.
Even as a working adult, I choke up just saying 'Good morning'.
When asked for my opinion in a meeting, I look down and say 'I have none' to get by.
Every time the phone rings, my heart pounds and my hand shakes as I pick up the receiver.
'I am someone who is bad at speaking in front of others'
'It's impossible anyway, I'll just fail'
I kept believing that, protecting myself by never trying anything.
But deep down, I had always been disappointed in myself.
A morning of wanting to change, but unable to take a step
The spring I turned 25.
It's not that I want to quit my job. But when I imagined myself at 30 or 40, still the same and having changed nothing, I suddenly felt scared.
Posts from my peers on social media saying 'I'm good at presentations' are too dazzling to look at directly.
'I want to change, but how?'
That question alone remained in my head, and I spent every morning standing frozen in front of the mirror.
A small trigger, a switch in my heart
One day, a notice appeared on the company bulletin board:
'Presentation Workshop for Young Employees (Beginners Welcome)'
Usually, I would have ignored it, thinking 'Absolutely impossible,' but
for some reason, I thought, 'If I stay like this, I'll never change for the rest of my life.'
Scared, embarrassed, not wanting to fail—
I swallowed it all, and before I knew it, I had pressed the sign-up button.
Immediately after sending it, my palpitations wouldn't stop.
My first challenge—a place to 'speak in front of others'
The day of the workshop.
When I arrived at the meeting room, about ten men and women were sitting there, all looking somewhat nervous.
'Those who came here today have already taken the 'first step','
the female instructor said.
First, self-introductions.
'Please tell us your name and how you're feeling today.'
It was my turn.
'...K-Kenta. I'm very nervous.'
My voice was shaking.
But the instructor and the other participants smiled and nodded, saying 'It's okay!'
'Oh, I'm not the only one.'
Just that made the tension in my shoulders melt away.
A space where you aren't laughed at for failing
The content of the workshop was by no means a Spartan training session to 'speak well in front of others'.
Try chatting with the person next to you for just one minute
Write 'how you feel today' on paper and show it to everyone
Take a deep breath and talk about something you like for just one minute
Everyone was stumbling over their words, and their voices were small.
But every time someone finished speaking, everyone applauded.
'If you fail, no one laughs'
'Even if you're nervous, they praise you by saying 'You did it!''
That space felt strangely safe.
Finally, a mini-presentation where each person talks about their 'favorite food' for 30 seconds.
I said,
'I like ramen. The reason is, when I was a child...'
I spoke in fits and starts.
After I finished, my palms were slightly sweaty. But I felt proud.
The night I tried praising myself
When I got home and lay down on my futon, for some reason I felt like crying.
'Today, I went a little beyond myself.'
I was able to show my weakness outside of work
I was able to have a one-minute conversation with people I met for the first time
It was only 30 seconds, but I 'spoke in front of others'
Even when I failed, no one blamed me
'Maybe, I can overcome my 'weakness' too.'
That was the night I praised myself for the first time in my life.
The change the morning after taking a step
The next morning, I went to work and tried saying 'Good morning'.
It was just that, but I felt like my voice came out better than before.
In a meeting, I said in a small voice, 'I don't understand this part.'
Just for that, my boss said, 'That's a good question.'
As for the phone, I started picking up the receiver a little more often.
I realized that 'overcoming' is
'being able to like yourself a little more than yesterday'.
The second wall—a challenge in front of a large group
As I attended the workshop several times,
I started to think, 'Next time, I'll try speaking in front of a larger group.'
The day I was entrusted with a progress report at the company morning assembly.
From the day before, I couldn't sleep because I was anxious, thinking 'Will I be able to speak well?' and 'Will my voice shake again?'
But on the day, after taking a deep breath,
'Good morning. Today's progress is...'
I started to speak.
I stumbled over my words in the middle, but
I honestly said, 'I'm sorry, I'm nervous...'
Everyone nodded, saying 'It's okay!'
When I finished speaking, my heart was pounding. But,
'If I do it, I can do it,' I thought for the first time.
You can only change yourself by continuing
I kept a 'What I Accomplished' notebook every Sunday
Speak up at the morning assembly, even if it's just one word
Taking calls I'm bad at by telling myself, 'It's okay if I fail'
I failed many times.
I stumbled over my words, my voice was too quiet, and
I felt embarrassed when people asked me to repeat myself on the phone.
But each time, I tried to think, 'I've made a little progress since yesterday.'
Before I knew it, the 'fear of speaking in front of others' became something that was 'a little scary, but doable.'
Self-affirmation became the 'foundation of romance'
By this time,
I had come to believe from the bottom of my heart that 'whether in work or romance, the most important thing is whether you can affirm yourself first.'
Don't think 'everything is a failure' just because you made a mistake
Make sure to praise yourself for what you were able to do
Give yourself permission to say 'it doesn't have to be perfect'
Just by doing that, the way I saw the world changed.
My first experience diving into a place to meet new people
Once I started overcoming my fear of 'speaking in front of others',
I was able to challenge myself to go to 'places to meet new people.'
Talking to the person next to me at a company drinking party
Joining a book club for a hobby
Honestly writing about 'what I like' on a matching app
At first, everything was scary.
But once I understood that 'a challenge = something where it's okay to fail',
I started to think, 'I'll just give it a try.'
I learned that people won't leave even if you show your weaknesses
When speaking in front of others,
I used to think, 'Won't everyone laugh at me?' or 'Won't they hate me if I fail?'
But in reality,
Everyone is busy with their own lives
There is always someone who will encourage you by saying 'it's okay' even if you fail
In fact, you get more empathy when you show your weaknesses
Once I understood that,
interacting with people became much easier than before.
Small victories became the foundation of my 'confidence'
Once you can overcome even one thing you're bad at,
you start to think, 'Maybe I can do other things too.'
Try changing your clothes
Try changing your hairstyle
Try initiating a conversation at a hobby group
Try recording small daily challenges on social media
Everything is scary at first. But,
praising myself for 'taking a step forward from yesterday'
became the foundation of my 'confidence' in both love and work.
What I saw after overcoming my weaknesses
As I kept attending the study sessions, I started to become a familiar face.
One of them invited me, saying, 'Why don't you come to our group's event next time?'
'It's amazing that Kenta, who used to be bad at speaking in front of people, can now speak so confidently.'
I thought to myself, 'I still have a long way to go,' but
from the perspective of those around me, they thought I had 'changed.'
That confidence led to the 'courage to be myself' in romance as well.
The meaning of meeting someone while being 'natural'
Thanks to becoming 'a little bit' better at speaking in front of people,
even in my dating app profile or conversations with women I met for the first time,
I became able to honestly say, 'I'm nervous.'
The other person would reply, 'Me too,'
and a natural interaction would grow from there.
I stopped trying to 'do it perfectly,'
and became able to think, 'I'll just be my true self, and if that's not good enough, then so be it.'
That was
the reason I was able to meet Misaki while being truly 'natural.'
The 'fear' hasn't disappeared even now
Even now, I get nervous speaking in front of people, and
my hands shake when I try something new.
But,
I changed from 'I won't do it because it's scary' to
'It's scary, but I'll try it anyway.'
No matter how small the thing is,
take one step forward from who I was yesterday.
I think that is the true meaning of 'overcoming.'
Overcoming means 'surpassing your yesterday's self just a little bit'
To overcome something.
That means,
- It's not about becoming perfect
- It's not about erasing your weaknesses
- It's not about blaming your 'unable self'
'Surpassing your yesterday's self just a little bit'
Life only changes through the accumulation of that.
Before I met Misaki,
I carried weaknesses I couldn't tell anyone,
and I couldn't even speak in front of people.
But, from that night I broke out of my shell alone,
everything started to change.
I want to tell the me of that day:
'Even if you're scared, take a step forward.
That one step will change everything about your future.'
#NightOfOvercoming #SelfGrowth #FearOfPublicSpeaking #OneStepAtATime #SurpassingPastSelf #RomanceTurnaroundStory #GraduatedFromBeingUnpopular