Star Dust

When I was about 20 years old, a university professor said this to me.

You're an adult once you can go to a bar by yourself.

Those words stayed with me. Ten years have passed since then, and at this milestone, I decided to try going to a bar alone.

I was walking toward a certain bridge in Yokohama. After crossing that bridge, there was another one, and beyond that, I could see a U.S. military base. There is another bridge just before this base, but you cannot cross it. That is because the other side is U.S. military property.

Anyway, right to the right of this bridge is an oasis for adults, a bar... Looking back, I feel like I haven't changed much since I was 20. But now, I feel like I can confidently step into a bar that I was too intimidated to enter back then.

Thinking that, I opened the door. When I went inside, there was a jukebox on the left, and a song by Southern All Stars was playing. Actually, this shop is like a small sacred place for Southern. 'Omoide no Star Dust' (Memories of Star Dust). Not many people might know this song. And the name of this bar is exactly 'Star Dust'. It is a famous shop that has been running in this area for over 70 years.

I sat down and ordered a gin and tonic. There is a reason I chose a gin and tonic.

My father used to say that after he became an adult, he would often go to bars and order a gin and tonic. So, I felt like I could climb the stairs to adulthood by ordering a gin and tonic at this bar.

While the bartender was preparing that drink, a Southern All Stars song suddenly started playing, and when I looked around the shop, my eyes caught the jukebox.

Come to think of it, there is a line in the lyrics of 'Omoide no Star Dust' that goes like this:

'Where is that jukebox sound coming from?'

I realized I was in a scene just like the lyrics, and as I stood in front of the jukebox, I was intoxicated by the atmosphere.

Then, a gentleman-like man approached and asked, 'Did you choose this Southern song?'

'No, it wasn't me. But it's a good song, isn't it?'

"Oh, you know quite a lot for someone so young."

"Thank you."

Then, someone who looked like a regular at the counter started glancing over at me.

However, I was tired from walking and not in the mood to talk to the regulars, so I took the drink I was served and sat down in a corner seat.

While all the other customers were chatting and laughing, I was the only one tucked away in a corner.

That's right, in the end, I haven't changed much from ten years ago.
I had only mustered the momentary courage to open the door and enter the shop, and I hadn't grown any further than that.
On the flip side, it surely meant there was still plenty of room for growth, and a long road still lay ahead of me.
I felt as though there was still so much future left.

In this way, after a little bit of disappointment, I was able to let my thoughts wander to what kind of growth I might be capable of from here on out.

I think I'll come here from time to time.
This place is bound to become a spot for me to reflect on myself.

The gin and tonic I had just sipped tasted more bittersweet than usual, yet it had a refreshing finish.