Rather than trying to prevent falling

I feel a little uneasy when my child is messaging with friends on LINE.

Sometimes, notices come from the school.

I hear rumors from other moms.

About a child who posted inappropriate messages in a group LINE chat.

About a child who hurt someone and caused trouble.

When my child's LINE notification goes off, they immediately read it and try to reply on the spot.

That looked risky to me.

Because it stays in writing.
Because it can't be undone.

"Make sure you check it carefully before you send it."

I always tell them that.

But I realized something.

That while I said it was for my child's sake,

it was also to calm my own anxiety
about not wanting them to cause trouble.

I wanted to protect my child.

But at the same time,
maybe I just wanted to feel at ease myself.

Besides,

if they chose their words as cautiously as I do,
I wondered if it might even erase my child's good qualities.

Sending a LINE message.

It gets read immediately.

A reply comes back with a good rhythm.

Perhaps my friend is looking forward to those interactions with my child.

It is important to teach them how to choose their words carefully.

But,

what if my child cannot choose their words well?

What if they end up hurting someone?

What if they cause trouble?

At that moment,

thinking it through together,
might be my role.

Seeing them move their fingers at high speed,
still makes me a little anxious even now.

Even so,
I think I will try to let go of their hand just a little.

Rather than trying to keep them from falling,

after they have fallen,

I realized I want to be a parent who can stand back up with them.