Relationship Reset Syndrome

Good evening, everyone.
I'm NATSU, a freelance writer from Hakata!

Today, I'm going to dissect the often-heard "Relationship Reset Syndrome"!

Have you ever suddenly deleted your LINE account one day?
Have you ever had the experience of blocking all your friends on social media?

You might possibly have "Relationship Reset Syndrome" too!

What is Relationship Reset Syndrome?

Relationship Reset Syndrome.
It's not an official medical diagnosis.

But it's a state of mind that is increasing among young people today.

Simply put, it refers to the behavior or habit of suddenly cutting off connections with people.
Like pressing the reset button on a game, you return your relationships to zero.

Specifically, it includes:
・Suddenly deleting social media accounts
・Changing contact information and going incommunicado
・Quitting a job and escaping to a new environment
・Moving house and not telling anyone
and so on.

"I'm sick of these relationships! I want to reset everything!"
The characteristic is acting on that impulse.

I've experienced it too! Common traits of Reset Syndrome

Actually, I've deleted and recreated my LINE account three times in the past.
Why, you ask?

It was three years ago.
I was still young, and I was getting too many invitations to drinking parties that I couldn't turn down... I was completely exhausted.

Thinking, "I don't want to deal with anyone anymore!"
I impulsively deleted my account.

But you know, when you think about it calmly, it's ridiculous.
The contact info for important friends gets deleted, and you have to build relationships from scratch again.

But that "sense of relief" in that moment was irresistible.
This is the terror of "Relationship Reset Syndrome."

You end up pressing the button for a temporary sense of liberation.

Characteristics of people prone to Reset Syndrome

1. People with negative thinking

"Everyone actually hates me, don't they?"
"Am I being a bother?"
They tend to think like this.

They are the type who take even the smallest words to heart.

When your self-esteem is low,
a minor stumble in a relationship can make you feel like, 'I can't do this anymore.'

2. Perfectionists

They cannot tolerate failure.
It's embarrassing to have a mistake seen.

So, once they fail, they think,
'There's no turning back now!'

People who think they can't show themselves to others unless they are the 'perfect version of themselves' need to be careful!

3. People who can't express their true feelings

They always say 'I'm fine' or 'It's okay,' but that's not really how they feel, is it?
If you don't have a single friend you can be honest with, you'll explode when your stress exceeds its limit.

4. People who prefer solitude

People who think, 'I like being alone' or 'Being with others is tiring,'
already have a low threshold for cutting off relationships.

That's why they can easily press the reset button.

Why do people end up resetting? The underlying psychology

1. Relationship troubles

Fights with colleagues, arguments with lovers, conflicts with family.
I understand the feeling of wanting to reset everything when one relationship goes sour.

I've also thought, 'I want to quit being a working adult' after being lectured by a senior at a drinking party.

When one relationship collapses, you want to knock them all down like dominoes, don't you?

2. Caring too much about how you are perceived

'What does that person think of me?' 'Do they hate me?'
It's exhausting to think about that too much.

Many people are so concerned with how others see them
that their own feelings get left behind.

And then they reach their limit and cut ties completely.

This is what gets repeated.

3. The spread of social media

We live in an era where we can be connected to someone 24 hours a day.
It's convenient, but it gets exhausting when you worry too much about things like the number of 'likes' or being left on read.

With the development of social media, the barrier to resetting relationships has also lowered.
Because you can end a relationship with just one block button.

Sometimes it's better to reset!

To be honest, it's not that resetting relationships is absolutely wrong.

Escaping toxic relationships, getting away from abusive parents, cutting ties with a power-harassing boss...
In these cases, you should actually reset!

But the problem is doing it 'impulsively'.

The issue is cutting everything off based on emotion rather than making a calm judgment.

How to improve Relationship Reset Syndrome

1. Practice connecting loosely

Try stopping the 'all-or-nothing' way of thinking.
Understand that relationships have 'degrees' as well.

Best friend level, drinking buddy level, just-say-hello level...
I think it's fine to have various levels of distance.

2. Have a sense of self

Value 'what you think' more than 'what the other person thinks'.
If you worry too much about others' evaluations, you'll get exhausted and explode.

3. Make one person you can talk to honestly

You don't need to tell everyone your true feelings.

But if you make at least one person you can talk to honestly,
you can relieve stress.

I even vent to my editor sometimes!

Finally—take a breath before cutting ties completely—

Relationship Reset Syndrome.
It might feel better temporarily, but in the end, you often end up repeating the same problems.

Before you press the reset button, take a breath and think about it.

Ask yourself, 'Is this really okay?'

Perhaps you don't need to reset everything,
it might be solved just by changing the distance.

Human relationships are difficult, aren't they?
But that is exactly why they are treasures you want to cherish.

Everyone, please don't reset impulsively,
and try to build relationships at your own pace!

See you next time!

This was NATSU (a Hakata-born writer who often deletes her SNS accounts and then comes back)!