Psychological Techniques: Don't end up as 'just a nice guy.' The emotional 'white space' and 'blueprints' that men who make women chase them secretly manipulate.
Introduction
'If I convey my feelings sincerely, they will turn to me someday.'
Back when I was covered in mud chasing a baseball,
I truly believed that.
However, in the field of romance,
that linear intensity sometimes becomes a 'burden,'
blocking the other person's escape route.
For 18 years,
having lived in a world of grit and determination, what I painfully realized was,
'The strength of feelings' and 'how they are received'
are two different things—a cruel fact.
What is important is
not to throw with all your might, but to mix in
breaking balls that make the other person think,
'I want you to keep throwing more.'
Today, I will delicately unravel from a man's perspective
the 'emotional design' strategies I polished
to escape my dark ages of being unpopular,
which you can start using tomorrow.
1. The technique of making them create
'a place for you' in their heart
In romance,
surrendering completely by saying 'I like you' from your side
is a poor strategy.
What you should really aim for
is to forcibly create 'time to think about you'
inside the other person's brain.
Here, we use
what is known in psychology as the 'Zeigarnik effect.'
People are more strongly obsessed with
incomplete things than completed ones.
• Strategy:
When the conversation is at its peak, dare to 'wrap it up early.'
At the moment when it is most exciting and you both feel
you want to talk more,
'Let's continue next time. I'm looking forward to it,'
you should refreshingly cut it off.
• Delicate perspective:
This is not coldness.
It is a strategy containing kindness
that leaves a small thorn in their heart saying, 'I wanted to know more.'
That night, what she remembers in bed
is not your long text message,
but 'the continuation we couldn't talk about then.'
2. By 'being helped,'
become a man they want to protect
Many men try to show off their cool side and
'I'll do anything for you'
tend to play the perfect hero.
However, that makes the other person a bystander
who only 'receives.'
Actually, people have a nature of liking the person they 'helped'
(the Ben Franklin effect).
'Since I took the action of helping,
I must like this person,'
the brain justifies the affection after the fact.
• Strategy:
Ask for small 'favors' in the other person's area of expertise.
'You're knowledgeable in this field, right?
I'd like you to consult with me just a little bit,'
try making a request that satisfies their sense of self-importance.
• Delicate perspective:
Relying on someone is not a weakness.
It is showing an opening that makes them think, 'I'm needed.'
We, who were on the baseball team, should abandon the 'force' we are good at,
and let the other person take the plate.
This mental composure
appears as sophisticated adult sex appeal.
3. The silent persuasive power called 'scarcity'
Always reachable,
and coming over with a quick 'yes' when invited.
That may seem 'sincere' at first glance, but
in terms of market value,
it degrades into 'something cheap that can be obtained anytime.'
It's the same as an official baseball.
A ball found anywhere has no value, but
the winning ball of a championship game
has immeasurable value.
• Strategy:
Do not let your 'sanctuary' be encroached upon.
Your work, self-improvement, hobbies.
Even if you are invited by someone you are interested in,
when you are immersed in those things,
'I have a commitment that day that I can't change.
How about another day?'
have the courage to refuse with dignity.
• Delicate perspective:
The purpose of refusing is not to be mean,
but to show the confidence that 'I am handling my own life.'
Because you are a man who values his own time,
the density of the time you occasionally meet increases,
and weight is born in every one of your words.
Conclusion
The psychological techniques I shared today
are by no means magic tricks to deceive the other person.
They are closer to 'hospitality' to deliver the product called 'substance' that we have polished through hard work in the most attractive package.
Prepare the entrance with cleanliness,
and pave the way with psychological techniques.
It is a delicate task of being close to the other person's emotions
and building a relationship carefully.
Let's break away today from the self that ends as 'just a nice guy.'
Strategically, and more sincerely than anyone else.
I hope that the best sound of a hit
will ring out at your romantic plate appearance.
If this article was helpful,
please like and follow!
Nari-o is rooting for your self-improvement.