What I want to believe in [Note 100-Day Challenge, Day 44]

I think it was probably since the beginning of this year.
That I became able to openly talk to my husband about my love for Western astrology and natural stones.
Wait, was it last year? Hmm... but at least, it hasn't been that long.

The many natural stones displayed in the bedroom (though not that many),
and Ryuji Kagami's astrology textbook on the bookshelf. I didn't intend to hide them, but
I didn't have the courage to bring them up in conversation.

But look at me now. I can talk to my husband about astrology, and if he's working from home, I'll even chat away on Zoom with my star-loving friends in the living room without a care.

I keep increasing my collection of natural stones ←,
and I finally hung a suncatcher in the entryway.
The kids are overjoyed, saying, 'It's so pretty!'
They seem to like my natural stone accessories and often come to touch them.
That's good. They have good taste. I believe my little stones won't get angry even if my children touch them. So, I let them touch them when they want to. However, pulling on the bracelet string is strictly forbidden.

What has changed even more is that I can now tell not only my family but also friends and acquaintances that I am studying Western astrology. Of course, only to those I feel I can talk to.

Hobbies that I had been doing secretly (?) and quietly under the surface until now
have become things I can share publicly. I think this is something that has changed significantly over time.

But what I want to believe in is not 'Western astrology itself'.

Come to think of it, since a little before the big COVID commotion, I became increasingly unable to 'fake who I am'.
(To astrology experts: In 2018, Uranus entered my Taurus ascendant.)

I couldn't connect with people while suppressing my own feelings anymore, and
I became able to think positively that it's okay not to connect.

However, since I have strong Virgo traits, when it comes to parenting, I tend to think things like
'I have to make sure they do things properly' or 'I have to make sure they don't cause trouble for others,' but I want to reach a point where I can believe that even with that, 'they will grow up resiliently without me being so strict.'
And I want to loosen the reins and be able to guide them when necessary.

To keep relaxing my heart more and more,

and to keep believing in my children more and more.

Believing in my husband, believing in those around me.

I want to be able to believe in my own senses, and in myself.

That's how I felt on this Saturday night.

P.S. It seems I am a sensory person who prefers to just write things out rather than build a plot, haha.

I wish you all a wonderful night. 🌺
Thank you for today as well.