You don't have to get rid of your struggles. Let's live with them together ~Information included~

Today, I'd like to share a story I've been keeping close to my heart since the beginning of this month.

I have lived with a sense of struggle for a very long time.
Ever since I can remember. So, for about 35 years, I guess. 35 years of living with struggles, haha 🤣

..That actually makes me want to cry, haha

Since I was little, I've wondered if I really belonged here. Even when I was having a good time, I felt like I was somehow floating apart from everyone else. From elementary school, middle school, high school, vocational school, to my working life, I felt that way without exception.

I felt I had to desperately adapt to the environment I was in. I had to act like I was having fun.
I had to make sure I wasn't disliked... Because I felt that way, I think the impression people have of me varies greatly depending on how close they are to me. For example, it's like a mascot character dancing cutely at a theme park, only to be slumped over in the backyard smoking a cigarette... (That's a terrible example.)

I'm not sure if it was unconscious or intentional, but I was an inconsistent person whose character changed depending on who I was with. I hated that version of myself, too.

Even after I miraculously started dating my husband, got married, and was blessed with children, I still carried that sense of struggle somewhere inside.
My situation was undeniably happy, so why did a cold draft keep blowing through my heart?
Parenting was painful because I didn't want my children to turn out like me.
Even though I knew that, I couldn't find a solution.
I was scared. I didn't know what would happen to me or where I was heading. My children were growing up while I remained in the dark. I was always accompanied by a vague anxiety, wondering, 'Do I really belong here?'

All while desperately hiding it behind a smile.

Are you not anxious anymore?

If someone asked me that, I feel like I could answer: 'Well, it's not that the anxiety has completely disappeared, but the frequency with which it appears has dropped significantly, and the anxiety itself has become smaller.'

Huh? Why? What helped?

That would be Note.

Writing seems to have been incredibly effective for me.

At first, I really just used it for talking to myself or as an extension of X,
but writing gradually became fun, I got to interact with various people, went through trial and error,
and experienced ups and downs... As a result of moving my heart in that way, I've become much healthier.

I've come to believe that it's okay for me to be who I am right now.

I am me, and I can't be anyone else.
The past cannot be changed, and the future cannot be seen. I am here right now. And that is enough.

That is what I have come to believe.

Up until now, I have been writing just for myself as I pleased, butI have come to hope that I can deliver a message to people like me who carry the same kind of unidentifiable struggles, saying, "Let's make life a little easier for each other! You don't have to force yourself to get rid of your struggles."

Aren't your struggles also an important part of who you are? That's why I don't think you need to force yourself to eliminate them.
If you live while carrying them, before you know it, they might just return to the sky.
Or perhaps you might find yourself feeling better, thinking, "I'm not in pain anymore!" Just like me.

So, starting next month on October 3rd, I will be launching a subscription magazine.

(...I'm a bit nervous, so I announced it on a small scale right away. I'm a scaredy-cat.)

【Shima Nanako's Nuchigusui (Medicine for Life)】
I'm going to make the thumbnail image now ←

Nuchigusui is a dialect from the southern islands that means "medicine for life."
For example, a delicious meal. A cold beer after work. The blue sky and blue sea. The smile of someone you support. Your favorite song. Your favorite clothes, shoes, books, manga...
Anything that makes your heart and body feel better is "nuchigusui."
I hope to help the hearts of those who read my work feel a little better, and help untangle their delicate hearts even just a little.

I hope I can weave such articles.

Approximately 4 articles per month (at a pace of one per week) / 500 yen per month

is what I am planning.

As for the content,

I am thinking of developing these with plenty of "Nanako-style" flair.
Master Maico, what is "Nanako-style"... lol

The reason I am trying out a paid magazine is because there were predecessors who told me it is okay to receive money for my own words.

At first, I was nervous, wondering, "Is it really okay to charge for my own magazine?" but then I remembered that people who draw manga sell doujinshi, and some people monetize their YouTube channels. My resistance to receiving money for my own content has largely disappeared.

I intend to put my all into the paid magazine for the things I want to convey.

Of course, I will still write free articles, and I plan to structure it so you can read previews of the paid articles, so please don't say goodbye just because I made a paid magazine lol

Of course, I would be very happy if you read both... ☺️ lol

Phew, I managed to make the announcement on the day of the full moon. First goal achieved lol

Now all that's left is to start it! Scheduled for the new moon on October 3rd!

I've already poured everything into the announcement, so I'm out of words ← so I'd like to end it here for today, but...

To my followers and fellow writers who always read my work. Thank you so much. I feel so happy when I open the 'likes' section and see your names.
I look forward to your continued support for this clumsy islander.

And to Kotoba to Kokoku, who continues to teach me the joy of writing.
Thanks to you, Kotoba-san, I was able to truly embrace the idea that I should write what I love, and that it's okay to write!

To numerologist Yurina-san. Thank you for opening a window for me and lighting the spark.
Thanks to you, I can fly off into the big sky, haha.

Finally, to Maico-sama, the principal of the Magic School.
You taught me how to manage my heart and how to be on Note. I will continue to work hard so that I can use the magic you gave me.

Thank you for reading this long article to the end.
Please continue to support Shima Nanako as she stands on a new stage.