That weakness might be a strength you haven't realized yet

Why am I always like this?

Do you ever find yourself feeling weighed down in your daily life or at work because you can't stop thinking about your flaws or the things you aren't good at?

It might seem like everyone around you handles their work efficiently or communicates well with everyone they meet.

Compared to them, you might feel like you worry too much about small things, get tongue-tied at important moments, or are just inefficient and take too long to get things done...

You focus only on your shortcomings and weaknesses, blaming and cornering yourself by thinking, 'I need to be better' or 'I have to overcome this weakness.'

To you, who is hurting and exhausted from carrying this burden alone, I have something I want to tell you today.

That quality you think of as 'your flaw' or 'a weakness that must be fixed.'

It might actually be,a wonderful strength of yours that you just haven't learned how to shine a light on yet.perhaps.

Today, let me talk with you about how to change your perspective so that your heart, currently feeling negative from focusing only on your weaknesses, can feel a little lighter and learn to embrace yourself with kindness.

Why do we only notice our own 'weaknesses'?

First, I want you to know that the reason you focus on your weaknesses is not because you are inferior as a human being, nor because you have a negative or bad personality.

1. The 'Negativity Bias' inherent in the human brain

The human brain has an innate instinct to pay more attention to 'bad things,' 'risks,' and 'flaws' than to 'good things.'

In psychology, this is called the 'negativity bias.'

For early humans to survive, it was more important to be sensitive to 'risks' like dangerous beasts or poisonous plants than to enjoy the scenery.

Because of this, our brains are wired to look for 'what is missing,' 'what is dangerous,' and 'what is wrong with us' if left to their own devices.

In other words, the fact that you worry about your weaknesses is proof that your brain is working normally; it is by no means because 'you are a negative person.'

2. A 'deduction-based' mindset born from being serious and sincere

Another reason is that you are very serious and sincere with yourself.

'I want to be better,' 'I don't want to be a burden to others,' 'I want to fulfill my responsibilities properly.'

The harder people work at living their lives, the more sensitive they become to the gap between their ideal self and their actual self.

As a result, they stop looking at what they have achieved (points added) and only count what they haven't (points deducted).

The fact that you can notice and worry about your weaknesses is proof of how seriously you are facing your own life and the people around you.

First, please acknowledge your sincerity by saying to yourself, 'I see, I was trying so hard to be earnest.'

Weaknesses and strengths are two sides of the same coin

Everything has two sides. Just as there is shadow where there is light, strengths and weaknesses are not completely separate things; they are merely a difference in which angle you are viewing the same quality from.

That quality you think is a 'weakness' and want to hide can instantly transform into an irreplaceable 'strength' or 'charm' when you change the angle and shine a light on it.

Here, let's unravel the 'strengths' hidden behind five representative personality traits and qualities that many people feel are 'weaknesses'.

1. Overthinking/Easily hurt (Sensitivity)

• View as a weakness: Always walking on eggshells, dwelling on a small comment forever, easily damaged.

• View as a strength: 'Kindness that can empathize with others' pain,' 'excellent crisis management skills,' 'deep empathy'

Being sensitive to people's words and the atmosphere of a room means that your antenna for noticing subtle changes and emotions in your surroundings is high-performance.

People who overthink can quickly notice the signs when someone is sad or in trouble.

They also never hurt others with harsh words.

Furthermore, because they can sense risks and worst-case scenarios in advance, they are also skilled in 'crisis management' that prevents major trouble before it happens.

There are actually many people who are saved and many spaces that are protected precisely because you are an 'overthinker'.

2. Indecisive and slow to make decisions

• View as a weakness: Cannot make decisions easily, easily swayed by others' opinions, cannot act quickly.

• View as a strength: 'Multifaceted thinking ability,' 'flexibility to respect others,' 'cautious and sincere attitude'

The reason you cannot decide things quickly is because you do not do things half-heartedly and are trying to seriously consider 'all possibilities and the feelings of others'.

People who make quick decisions based on intuition may look cool at first glance, but sometimes they overlook things or become self-righteous.

On the other hand, if you take time to make decisions, you have the flexibility to listen carefully to others' opinions and can avoid careless mistakes.

Your "indecisiveness" is actually the "flip side of sincerity," reflecting your tendency to think about things deeply and carefully.

3. Inefficient, clumsy, or slow

• View as a weakness: Slow to learn tasks, unable to multitask, or lacking dexterity.

• View as a strength: "Careful and reliable work," "sincerity that doesn't cut corners," and "learning with a deep sense of conviction."

Efficient people are good at picking out the main points and moving forward quickly.

However, they sometimes skip the basics or become sloppy.

In contrast, you, who feel you are "inefficient," are trying to understand things without cutting corners, stepping through each stage one by one.

Because it takes time, the knowledge and skills you acquire become very solid. Also, because you know the stumbling blocks of each step from personal experience, another strength of those who know what it's like to be clumsy is that you can become the kindest mentor when teaching others in the future.

4. Stubborn, goes at own pace, or struggles to fit in with others

• View as a weakness: Cannot read the room, lacks cooperativeness, or is stubborn and inflexible.

• View as a strength: "Unwavering core," "strength to protect one's beliefs," and "self-discipline that isn't easily swayed."

It is a wonderful talent to be able to value your own feelings and preferences without being swayed just because "everyone else says so" or "it's trendy."

In a modern world where trends and others' opinions change rapidly, those who can maintain their own pace and beliefs are valued by those around them as "reliable people" or "people with a strong core."

Cooperativeness is certainly important, but if everyone is just reading the room, no new ideas or values will be born.

Your "stubbornness" is a "healthy axis" for protecting the importance of who you are.

5. Cannot assert oneself or is reserved

• View as a weakness: Cannot state one's own opinion, always ends up being the listener, or feels like one's presence is thin.

• View as a strength: "An overwhelmingly good listener," "humility that lets others shine," and "inclusiveness that provides a sense of security."

In a society where everyone tends to insist on being seen and heard, the presence of someone who can quietly listen is extremely valuable and something to be proud of.

When only people who are good at self-assertion gather, friction and clashes of opinion arise. It is precisely because you are modest that the atmosphere softens and others can speak with peace of mind.

The kindness of being able to naturally prioritize not disturbing the harmony of those around you, rather than 'having no opinion,' is a supreme virtue that brings healing to many.

A perspective shift to turn 'weaknesses' into 'strengths'

Even if you understand that weaknesses and strengths are two sides of the same coin, you might still think, 'Even so, I still lose out or feel down because of this personality...'

At such times, I would like to introduce 'three perspective shifts (reframing)' to help you switch your mindset in an instant.

Perspective 1: Try changing the subject from yourself to the 'environment or the other person'

Weaknesses are rarely absolute flaws of yours as an individual; they almost always arise from a 'mismatch between that trait and your current environment (or the other person).'

For example, the trait of 'worrying too much about details' might look like a weakness of 'being slow at work' in an environment that prioritizes speed.

However, in an environment that requires precision, such as proofreading, safety management, or fine-tuning designs, you would be highly praised as a 'genius capable of the best craftsmanship.'

When you are troubled by a weakness, try thinking like this:

'It's not that I'm no good. It's just that this might not be the place or the person for this trait to shine.'

Instead of trying to force yourself to change, you should look for a place where your traits are appreciated or choose a role where you can make the most of those characteristics.

Perspective 2: Try removing the 'too much' from 'doing something too much'

When we think about the parts of ourselves we dislike, don't we unconsciously add 'too much' to the end of our descriptions?

• Worrying too much

• Thinking too much

• Being too reserved

• Being too cautious

Try gently removing this 'too much' from these words.

• Being concerned (= being considerate)

• Thinking (= having deep thinking skills)

• Being reserved (= being humble and valuing others)

• Being cautious (= ensuring certainty and safety)

What do you think? The moment you remove the "too much" aspect, the pure strengths you possess reveal themselves.

The reason you are worried is not because you lack strengths, but because "those strengths are just trying a little too hard and appearing in excess."

Instead of trying to erase your shortcomings, it is enough to just adjust them by saying, "I let the meter go a bit too far, there, there."

Perspective 3: It is precisely because you have "weaknesses" that you can be loved and relied upon by others

People who are perfect and can do anything may seem enviable at first glance.

However, they can sometimes be unapproachable because they have no gaps, or they may end up taking everything on alone because they cannot rely on others.

On the other hand, people who are a bit clumsy, awkward, or able to express their weaknesses naturally make those around them feel like they "want to help" or "want to support" them.

In psychology, there is a known phenomenon (the pratfall effect) where "people who have some clumsy parts are perceived as more approachable and have higher likability than perfect people."

Your weaknesses and things you are not good at serve as gaps for others to get close to you and reach out a helping hand.

It is precisely because you have weaknesses that you can rely on someone.

You can say "help me" to someone.

And you can convey a heartfelt "thank you" to the person who helped you.

Weaknesses might be the knots that warmly connect people to one another.

"Gentle ways to deal with complexes" you can start today

Finally, when you find a weakness in yourself and are about to feel negative, let me suggest a small step you can try starting today.

Step 1: Do not exclude negative emotions; acknowledge them by saying, "It's natural to feel down."

When you feel down about your shortcomings, there is no need to suppress your emotions by telling yourself, "I shouldn't be feeling this way" or "I have to be positive."

First, be on your own side and acknowledge your feelings as they are, saying, "Of course I'd feel down if things didn't go well," or "It's natural to feel bad about this."

Step 2: Ask yourself, "What are the good points of this trait?"

Once you feel a bit calmer, try asking yourself this question as if you were a detective.

"In what situations might this personality trait, which seems bad at first glance, actually be useful?"
"Thanks to this clumsiness, what kind of kindness have I gained?"

It is okay if you don't find an answer right away.

Just by posing the question, your brain will start searching for your "hidden strengths" little by little.

Step 3: Find the humor in it and say, "Well, that's just who I am"

There is not a single perfect person in this world. Everyone is living their life by trial and error, with all their rough edges.

You don't have to force yourself to fix your weaknesses to become a perfectly square, "average person."

"I might be a bit inefficient, but I'm thorough, so that's fine."
"I might worry too much, but because of that, I've become someone who can understand others' pain, so that's fine."

Please forgive your endearing clumsiness with a chuckle, saying, "Well, that's just who I am."

Conclusion: You are a perfectly charming puzzle piece just as you are

Try to think about a puzzle piece.

If every piece were a straight rectangle, they wouldn't be able to fit together, would they? It is precisely because there are indented parts (weaknesses) and protruding parts (strengths) that they can interlock perfectly with the neighboring pieces to complete a beautiful picture.

The indentation you think of as your "weakness" is an important space for receiving someone else's "strength."

And the protrusion that is your "strength" is a warm hand meant to gently support someone else's "weakness."

There is no need to force yourself to shave down your weaknesses to become smooth and round.

When you love your own uneven edges and think, "This is also part of my charm," the world will surely become a much kinder and warmer place than it is now.

To you, who have been living your life to the fullest while battling your own weaknesses until today.

You have really worked hard.

From now on, please try to embrace your clumsiness and sensitivity entirely, and be a little kinder to yourself.

I hope that the strengths you haven't yet realized will gently and warmly illuminate your days ahead.

See you in the next article.