When 'sharing happiness' feels heavy, it's because a 'hierarchy' has crept in

It's well-intentioned, yet heavy.

I've been thinking about the true nature of the
slightly heavy feelings we sometimes experience,
inspired by a curator's article.

The curator's

'Why is sharing happiness disliked?'
After I finished reading it, what stayed in my mind for a while was,

'Oh, this... I've definitely felt this before too,' and it slowly came back to me.

If right now

・You feel strangely tired by someone's 'sharing'
・You sometimes feel that even though it's well-intentioned, it's heavy...
・You feel a bit suffocated

If any of this rings a bell, I'm sure you'll empathize.

The curator's article addresses that kind of hard-to-articulate discomfort,

not from the perspective of 'sharing' itself, but from the perspective of 'how that phrase changes the distance between two people.'

That perspective was a great learning experience for me. Thank you.

I am someone who likes 'sharing feelings'

I don't want to be misunderstood, so I'll write this first.
I actually like 'sharing'.

When I've been able to experience a happy mood,
I write articles saying, 'I'm sharing this!' 😅

I use the term often myself, and
I often feel happy to receive
shares from everyone and be able to say 'thank you' and experience it together.

So, after reading this article,
I don't mean to say 'let's stop sharing'.

Sharing is a happy thing. But...

Even so, there are days when I occasionally feel a bit 'ugh...'
Because I'm human.

I wondered what that 'ugh' was, but
after reading the curator's article,
I realized
it was a sense of discomfort coming from a relationship where 'it's not the sharing itself, but the feeling that the way to receive it has already been decided before it's given.'

The freedom of the person receiving it disappears.

I was very convinced.
I like 'experiencing happiness together'.
Rejoicing in someone's happiness is, in Adlerian psychology, a sense of community.
I like relationships where we can say, 'I'm glad for you.'

That is why what matters is

the person giving
might start out sharing with good intentions, but
before they know it,
a top-down dynamic has snuck in.
Those of us sensitive to discomfort
are left thinking, 'Huh??'

Whether the freedom to 'think whatever you want' remains for the person receiving it.

You can react with joy together, or you can let it slide for the day.

What the curator's article taught me

It organized and put into words 'why that discomfort is painful.'

After reading it,
I feel like I've found an explanation for the discomfort inside myself.
Please go and read the article.

I'm really glad I got to know that perspective and read it. Thank you, curator!!

[Article introduced]

A perspective from Adlerian psychology

Community feeling is the sense of accepting others as 'equals.' I want to cherish this.

Therefore, we might feel uneasy when a hierarchy creeps in without us realizing it.

Even if the person giving doesn't intend it that way,
a vertical relationship from above can sometimes slip in unnoticed.

That was likely the source of my discomfort.