For those of you who feel emotionally exhausted when talking to someone you just can't get along with

“There is just this one person I really can't stand...”
Do you have someone like that, too?

I have one, too.
Every time I talk to them, my chest feels uneasy,
and I get the feeling that I am becoming transparent.

“I’m an adult, so I have to handle this well,”
“I shouldn’t dislike the other person,”
I pretend to be serious and kind,
and end up even more confused,
sometimes feeling miserable.

At times like that, Adlerian psychology helps.

By learning Adlerian psychology,
my way of thinking has changed.

The feeling of “I don’t like this”
is neither selfish nor immature,
but an important sign to protect myself.

When I realized that,
my heart felt lighter,
and I was able to shift my perspective.

Things like that happen.
It’s natural for everyone to be different.
Everyone values themselves.

……In this article,
I will share some tips for interacting
a little more easily with people you just don't get along with.

It is natural for feelings of dislike to arise

People have different compatibilities.
Having someone you don't get along with
is a very natural thing.

You don’t have to force yourself
to think, “I have to get along with them.”

If you deny those feelings
and try to force yourself to adapt,
you will only feel more exhausted.

First,
“I guess I don’t get along with this person,”
“I feel tired when I interact with them,”
please gently acknowledge that.
You don’t have to suppress those feelings.

Looking at what lies behind your emotions

In Adlerian psychology,
there is a concept called “teleology.”

It is believed that our emotions and actions
hide a “purpose to protect something.”

“I feel irritated,”
“I feel scared,”
“I don’t want to get close,”

when you feel that way, deep down there is

• I don’t want to get hurt anymore

• I want to be treated with care

• I want to protect my own pace

Such a wish might be hidden underneath.

“What am I trying to protect that is causing this emotion to arise?”

Please try asking yourself that quietly just once.

Be careful of discouragement

When the other person throws negative words at you,
or treats you with a condescending attitude,
you might end up thinking, “Maybe it’s my fault.”

However,
those words are just the “other person’s attitude,”
and not an evaluation of your “value” itself.

If necessary,
please quietly draw a line in your heart.

“I am fine just as I am.”
“Besides, I’m not clever enough to change just because someone told me to.”
Something like that...
I want you to use these slightly assertive
words as your charm.

Have words that encourage yourself

Adlerian psychology places great importance on “encouragement.”

Encouragement is not about evaluation or comparison,
but simply acknowledging that person’s existence.

If it is difficult for you to offer
encouragement to someone you don’t get along with,
please try offering it to yourself first.

Start by taking care of yourself.

“You faced it well today, too.”
“You’re doing your best.”
“It’s natural to feel that you don’t like it.”

Please say such words to yourself.

In closing

There is no need to force yourself to understand people you don’t get along with.

While drawing boundaries,
it is okay to choose to cherish yourself.

Taking it little by little is easier, isn’t it?
If you can gradually cultivate a “me who isn’t easily swayed,” I think that is more than enough.

Every feeling is an important part of you.
I hope you can spend today
while saying to those feelings, “Thank you for helping me until now.”

A murmur in the postscript

Tanabata is over, isn't it...
Did you make a wish??

Happy news in the addendum

You have introduced me and added me to your magazines.
Thank you very much.

Hiiro-san

Kametaro-san

Lemon🍋-san

Riko@LifeLongHealing-san

Happy news

Happy news
#ThingsImGladAboutOnNote
Many people read my post with this tag last week.
Thank you!