I was afraid of the phone ringing. 10 years since I was a rookie. A slightly easier way of life I found while working with a stutter.

Even after I started working, I have been troubled by my stutter in various ways.

Among those, the most difficult thing was

answering the phone

itself.

When I received a call,

"Thank you for calling. This is [Name] from [Company Name]."

I just couldn't say it.

To be precise, the first

"O"

wouldn't come out.

There would be about five seconds of silence, and then finally I'd manage to say, "Thank you for calling..." This is a symptom of stuttering known as a "block."

Furthermore, I would sometimes get stuck again on the

"A"

in "Arigatou gozaimasu" (Thank you).

In your first year of work, there's an atmosphere where answering the phone is almost mandatory, isn't there?

So I tried my best to pick it up, but honestly, it was painful back then.

I was desperate to learn the ropes, but because I was always nervous about the phone ringing at any moment,

I couldn't really concentrate on my work.

At the first company I worked for, I had to transfer calls to the person in charge within the office.

The floor was relatively small, so I had to put the caller on hold, stand up, and call out, "Mr./Ms. [Name], there is a call for you from [Name] at [Company]." I struggled because I couldn't perform this sequence of actions well.

Even though I have the words perfectly prepared in my head, when it comes time to say the first word, it just won't come out.

Moreover, since I have to stand up and call out to someone, if I get stuck on my words there,

“Why is that person just standing there?”

is what people end up thinking.

The gazes of those around me naturally gather, and I end up breaking into a cold sweat... it was a truly painful experience.

I have changed jobs several times, and when choosing companies back then, I was
looking for work that involved as little phone interaction as possible and allowed me to work quietly on my own
.

My professional life has exceeded 10 years, but I am still not used to the phone.

Even when I have to make a call from the office, I don't want to do it when it's completely quiet.

Is there anyone else who feels the same way?

I want to make calls when it's as noisy as possible around me.
Once I've made the call, I can usually manage, but I'm always worried about whether I'll be able to say the first word properly when I start.

But now, it's a little easier.

Because I've come to think that it's okay to stutter.

Next time, I'd like to talk about how I came to feel that way.