#24 What I think every time I'm told that "kind people lose out"
Hello, this is Nago.
"Kind people lose out"
"The more serious you are, the more you lose out"
I'm not very fond of these phrases.
Things that are inherently wonderful
・Being able to be kind to others
・Working diligently
I believe these are wonderful traits that should be praised.
Even though they were valued in school, once you enter society,
there is a trend where people who can clearly state their opinions are seen as better.
I think people who live with conviction and aren't easily swayed are wonderful.
I respect them.
But people who can read the room, prioritize others' feelings,
and choose to hold back their own opinions are just as amazing.
That's why I feel a sense of discomfort when people say, "You should stop doing that because you'll lose out."
It makes it feel like a bad thing.
It makes me blame myself, thinking that I'm no good because I can't speak my mind.
Kindness saves people
When you're struggling, what you need isn't logical correctness, but kindness.
Continuing to sacrifice yourself increases the risk of mental illness, but
I just can't bring myself to think that all self-sacrifice is bad.
In fact,
"I was saved because you listened to me back then"
"I talked to you because I knew you would listen without judging me, Nago"
I've had experiences where people told me these things,
and it made me feel that even while I was struggling, I was able to do something for others.
Of course, I don't think it's good to keep lying to your own heart
or to keep piling up patience.
Because in the end, it just ends up hurting you.
But even if it is self-sacrifice, there are people who are saved by that kindness.
"Too kind" is not a compliment
"You're too kind."
"You're too serious."
I have been told this countless times until now.
And I am still being told this even now.
Personally, I don't think this is a compliment, but rather
"Why do you go that far?"
"Why don't you stop when you're losing out?"
I feel that it contains this nuance.
I believe that "you're too [adjective]" is not a compliment.
I'm also often told "you think too much."
Sensitive people are kind
Many of the people I have met so far who have HSP traits or are battling mental illness are truly kind.
Because they are easily hurt, they do not hurt others.
That is my impression.
That is precisely why I want to say,
"You are wonderful for being able to be kind to others."
"You are wonderful for living your life seriously."
"You are wonderful for having the power to think."
I want to say these things to them.
I want to reduce self-sacrifice
<You can only pour into others what overflows from your own cup>
This is the champagne tower rule that is often talked about.
If you try to pour into others when your own heart's cup is bone dry,
that becomes self-sacrifice.
It is something I often end up doing...
Kindness is wonderful.
Seriousness is also wonderful.
While cherishing that trait, try to eliminate self-sacrifice, even if it's just a little at a time.
・Try expressing just one wish
・Try saying no, even if it's just once a year
I think it's fine to start with a really small step.
I think this is also a way to protect your own heart.
In closing
My wish is,
[I want the world to be a place where kind people are rewarded]
And,
[I want to increase the number of places where sensitive people can feel at ease]
It's okay to have a place that fully affirms who you are, isn't it?
To you who read this article, I want to say,
"You are fine just as you are"
.
Because your existence is a source of salvation.
You are wonderful just as you are.
You give me courage.
I hope that you, in your kindness, can have days where you can smile without losing that kindness.
Thank you for reading until the end 😊
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