To Moms Worried Before Elementary School Enrollment

For moms raising children with developmental differences, the anxiety before enrollment is considerable.
The fact that there are still moms who cried at the pre-enrollment health checkup.

The reality is that support before enrollment is still far from enough.

Even if you want those around you to understand, "invisible struggles" are hard to convey.
Especially since... children themselves often cannot put their feelings into words...
I also panicked and spun my wheels before my first child's enrollment.
During the pre-enrollment health checkup,
not knowing what to do,
I have cried too.
Even if you talk to people around you hoping they will understand the "things you are struggling with,"invisible strugglesare often difficult for others to understand, aren't they?

In elementary or junior high school, even if you request a regular class or a special needs class, it may not always go as planned.
The assessment result does not determine the school you will attend.
The one who ultimately decides where to learn isthe parent/guardian.

Depending on the number of enrolled students, special needs classes and special needs schools can be affected by budget.

For example, suppose there are currently 7 students enrolled in a special needs class.
If 2 graduate next year and 4 new students request it, the total becomes 9, making it necessary to split the class.
In such cases, children judged to have mild needs may be told,
"Let's try observing in a regular class first."
There is a "5% rule" for attending a school outside your district, and the reality is that not everyone who applies will be accepted.

First of all,

don't carry it all by yourself, Mom.

As for what I did...

• Observed school classes several times before enrollment

• Consulted before the health checkup

• Thought about how to deal with panic

• The final deadline for school enrollment consultation

• Consulted with Dad, senior moms, and people around me

Even just doing this will gradually lighten your anxiety.

Let's stay calm, Mom.

Even within the same city, the atmosphere varies completely from school to school.
There are personnel changes for teachers in April,
and when the principal or homeroom teacher changes, the school's atmosphere changes as well.
Compatibility with your homeroom teacher is also something you won't know until you actually start attending.
Don't worry too much; go ahead and consult with the teachers and the special needs coordinator.

There are many people you can consult with.

It is common to proceed with consultations in the following order.

1. Homeroom teacher (the homeroom teacher is basically your point of contact)

2. (If available) Grade level head

3. Special needs coordinator

4. Vice principal

5. Principal

6. City Board of Education

7. Prefectural Board of Education

*In the case of Kawanishi City, at least one support coordinator is assigned to each school. There is one School Counselor (SC) and one School Social Worker (SSW) for each junior high school district. You can also apply for educational consultation at the Kawanishi Special Needs School.
There are also school custodians, librarians, school nurses, life counselors, experienced moms, and so on.
Try to find someone at the school who is easy to talk to.

What should I do about these kinds of problems?

For example,

Is it possible if we do X?
Let's consult with the school.

By making small requests, you can get support to help things go as smoothly as possible.
When your child is really not doing well, it is also an option to see your family doctor again.
Please consult thoroughly with the teacher and think about what can be done within the scope of possibilities together.

Communication with teachers

At the time of enrollment, everyone is new.
Many classmates also don't know about your child's unique needs.
Teachers might also be confused by these characteristics.
In such cases, it is effective to talk about it in an interview beforehand.
It is best to talk when multiple teachers are present.
If that is difficult, writing it down on paper makes it easier to confirm later.

Creating an environment where your child feels safe

When my first child had her entrance ceremony, I made sure to secure a seat in the front so she could see me.
Any position where she could see her mother when looking forward was fine.
It also prevented her from looking around restlessly.
Knowing where I was—the person who could protect her—helped her stay calm.

Keeping a lucky charm or a favorite handkerchief tucked in their pocket can also be effective.
To avoid causing trouble for other children, it is also smooth to inform the teacher about how to handle things if your child has a panic attack.

Things you can do now

As preparation for starting school, let's practice together as parent and child little by little.
I will introduce four things that I actually found helpful.

1. Practicing the walk to school

While wearing the actual school bag that arrived,
why not walk the route to school together with your child during the time elementary students usually commute?

It helps them learn the path and builds physical stamina. Try checking the atmosphere of the school commute group (if there is one) and think about who will accompany them and for how long after school starts.

2. Visualizing school life

Read picture books to help them visualize school life.
It is also recommended to actually visit the school your child will attend together.
If you make a list of points to 'look for' before the visit, you can proceed with preparations with peace of mind.

Try playing with your child while preparing their elementary school stationery.
Since stationery is consumable, having spares will give you peace of mind.
It is reassuring to have extra erasers, pencils, rulers, and paints. I bought glue in bulk.

In addition to stationery, prepare underwear and socks as well.
Until they get used to the new environment,
some children don't know when to go to the bathroom,
or cannot use the toilet.
For emergencies, it is a good idea to keep spare underwear and socks in the front pocket of their school bag and tell the homeroom teacher about it.

Having spare socks is also helpful if they get wet in the rain or have an accident.
If you put a set of underwear, socks, and a plastic bag in their cup pouch, it will be natural to take them out in the classroom without feeling embarrassed.

3. Practicing for the entrance ceremony

Since procedures vary by school and academic year, be sure to check with the elementary school your child will attend.
Especially with the impact of COVID-19, many things have changed.
If there is no rehearsal, borrowing photos or a DVD of the previous year's entrance ceremony can help your child get a better idea of what to expect.

Try purchasing the entrance ceremony outfit early and practicing wearing it.
The entrance ceremony is surprisingly long, so please prioritize comfort when buying.
Some children are uncomfortable with ties or blouses, so it is safer to try them on before purchasing (it is okay if they don't wear them).
If you choose a slightly larger size, you can also use it for formal occasions.

4. Get to know the school's annual events

Events like sports day might be a heavy burden for your child.
For example, sports day.
Are they okay with the sound of the starting pistol or whistles?
Do they struggle with remembering dance choreography?
It is important to discuss with the teacher in advance how to handle such situations.

Check the annual events and schedule early, and if there are necessary preparations, handle them with plenty of time to spare.

Items that make school preparation go smoothly

What I found especially useful were a name stamp and an ink pad for fabric.
You need to write names on all your belongings.
Having a stamp is particularly convenient for textbooks, as you will use them right after the entrance ceremony.

I used the hiragana stamps from the 100-yen shop a lot when my child was in first grade.
I ordered a kanji name stamp online, and it was a huge help for paperwork.
The ink pad for fabric can be used for bags and gym clothes.
Since there is a lot of paperwork in March and April, having a stamp with your address and phone number will save you time.

Criteria for buying casual clothes

If your child is moving from a kindergarten with a uniform to an elementary school with casual clothes, you might worry about whether you have enough clothes. Preparing about 5 to 6 sets of tops and bottoms is enough to allow for laundry cycles.
For children who like skirts, leggings are also recommended. They are easy to move in, and your child won't have to worry about what others think.

The most important thing is for you, as a mom, to have peace of mind.

If you have peace of mind, you can overcome even small troubles.
Once the entrance ceremony is over, first give yourself a reward!
When you are feeling lost, try talking to someone you trust to help organize your feelings.