The story of how I, who used to offer the option to 'rest' as a store manager, couldn't rest myself

I worked as an apparel store clerk for about 10 years, 6 of which I spent as a store manager.

As the person in the highest position at the store, I ended up developing an adjustment disorder and had to work while my health was failing.

When I was healthy, not getting sick was one of my strengths.

I never took time off work for fevers or colds; in fact, I was the one who would cover for staff members who were feeling unwell.

Having fallen ill myself, I realized something.

That is, it is important not just to tell someone who is feeling unwell 'don't push yourself,' but to provide them with concrete options.

・What I kept in mind as a store manager

When I was a store manager, if a staff member felt unwell, I would first check their condition.

If they were in a state where they could rest, I would have them rest.

In that case, I would check if other staff could come in, or contact the supervisor to see if help could be sent from another store.

However, not all staff members can say 'I want to rest' on their own.

'If I take a break, the store won't function.'

'If I leave early, it will be a burden on the other staff.'

'There will be no one left to do the closing procedures.'

Thinking things like this, some people couldn't speak up even when they were feeling sick.

That's why I tried to give such staff members as many options as possible.

1. Leave early right now
2. Leave early after rotating the other staff's breaks
3. Leave early after checking for help
4. Take a break and think about it after calming down

When you are feeling unwell, your head can feel foggy, and your ability to think can be lower than usual.

That is precisely why I wouldn't have them make all the decisions themselves, but rather offer several options from my side.

Allowing them to choose from those options.

That was my way of 'supporting staff who are feeling unwell.'

・Getting by with 'I'll manage if I just try hard enough'

While I thought 'you don't have to push yourself' for my staff, I was pushing myself quite hard.

Suddenly, a late-shift staff member couldn't make it.

Even if help came from another store, the closing procedures are different at different stores.

In that case,

'If I stay, it will be solved.'

That becomes the solution.

Even on days I started with an early shift, I would stay behind to do the closing procedures.

Even if I had plans after work, I would cancel them to prioritize the store.

There were parts of this that were unavoidable as a store manager.

But looking back now,

'I'll manage if I just try hard enough'

I think I was working with that mindset.

Even though I tried not to let my staff push themselves, I kept telling myself, 'I should just do it.'

・During work, I was my usual self

After that, various causes overlapped, and I gradually began to lose my mental health.

I couldn't stop crying.

My chest felt tight.

I had a sensation of a lump in my throat.

Such symptoms began to appear.

Even so, at first, I could manage while at work.

Once I switched into work mode, I could serve customers with a smile.

I could talk to staff normally.

I could work as a store manager.

Therefore, from the perspective of the store staff, I don't think they realized I was that unwell.

I myself also had a desire not to be noticed and make others worry.

I could work hard while on the job.

But on the commute, after returning home, or on my days off, I couldn't stop crying.

That was my state.

And as the symptoms worsened, I gradually began to cry even while at work.

I would go down to the stockroom to hold back tears or consult with my supervisor over the phone.

Even so, because of my sense of responsibility as a 'store manager,' I couldn't easily take a break.

・What I felt after leaving the position of store manager

After that, due to my health, I ended up becoming a general employee rather than a store manager.

With a new store manager arriving,

'If I take a break, the store manager will handle things at the store'

I had that sense of security.

Of course, that didn't mean I started taking breaks recklessly.

But being freed from the responsibility that 'if I'm not there, the store won't function' was huge for me.

And one day, I couldn't stop crying during my break.

I was not in a state to work.

But I didn't even know what to do myself.

The store manager asked me,

'Are you okay?'

'Don't push yourself.'

Of course, I think those words came from kindness.

But at that time, I thought,



'What should I do to not push myself?'

・What I wanted were concrete options

After calming down a bit later, I thought about it this way.

If I were the store manager,

'With today's staffing, it's fine to leave early'

'Do you think you can work after resting a little?'

I think I would have offered options like that.

Of course, a new store manager has their own way of doing things.

My way isn't necessarily the correct answer.

However, having actually been on the side of 'feeling unwell and unable to make decisions,' I realized that

the support I used to provide to staff by 'offering options' was necessary for staff who are feeling unwell to make choices that suit their condition with peace of mind.
Especially when you are mentally unwell, there are times when you cannot explain your condition well.

Even saying 'I want to rest' is difficult.

That is why I believe having concrete options shown by those around you is a great help.

・I gathered the courage to say 'I want to leave early'

And, about a week before I went on leave.

There is an event that I still remember.

That day was the first day of a 4-day work streak.

Even though I had normally handled 4-day streaks until then, that day,

'A 4-day streak starting today...'

'I have to work 8 hours from here...'

I felt incredibly desperate.

It wasn't that I was crying.

I was serving customers normally.

Even so,

'I might not be able to finish this 4-day streak at this rate'

I had that intuition.

Looking at the shift, it seemed I could leave early only on the first day, so I consulted with the store manager.

Then, they said,

'Then let's have you leave early today after rotating everyone's breaks.'

I was originally scheduled to talk to the supervisor on the phone, and at that time I conveyed that 'I want to leave early today.'

Then, I was asked,



'Why?'I think the supervisor just wanted to confirm the reason.

But to me at that time, those words sounded very cold.

Because I had been working even when I was feeling unwell all that time.

There were many days I wanted to rest or leave early.

But thinking about the store and other staff, I couldn't easily say it.

I, who had finally gathered the courage to say,

'I want to leave early today.'

Moreover, I had already consulted with the store manager and received permission.

Even so, being asked 'Why?' made me feel,

'Even though I'm this sick, I'm not even allowed to leave early.'

・People who look healthy are not necessarily truly healthy

Looking back now, I think that at that time, Ilooked healthy on the surface.

That day, I had been serving customers normally until just before the phone call.

Because I was talking with a smile, I think my voice on the phone also sounded energetic.

But in reality, I was close to my limit, thinking,

'I don't feel like I can even do a 4-day streak.'

During work, the work switch turns on.

That's why I can work.

But that is separate from 'being healthy.'

Therefore, even if a staff member who is feeling unwell doesn't say 'I want to rest,'



'Not saying I want to rest = can work'is not true, I think.

People with a strong sense of responsibility sometimes try to come to work no matter what.

Because they think, 'If I take a break, it will cause trouble.'

・Give options to those who cannot say 'I want to rest'

This time, having experienced both the position of store manager and the staff member who is feeling unwell, I have thoughts.

To those in a supervisor position, I really want you to offer 'options' to staff who are feeling unwell.

'You can go home today'

'Let's decide after you rest a little'

'I'll adjust things today, so it's okay'

'You should rest now'

I want you to convey things concretely like that.

Just because the person doesn't say 'I want to rest,' please don't judge that they 'can work.'

Perhaps they just can't say it because of feelings like,

'I don't want to cause trouble for others'

'Staffing will be insufficient'

'I feel sorry if I take a break'

And if they clearly look unwell, I think it is also necessary to push them by saying,

'Do you want to rest?'

instead of,



'Let's rest today'

・If you think 'I want to rest,' it's okay to say it

On the other hand, there is something I want to tell the person who is feeling unwell.

If you think 'I want to rest,' it's okay to say it.

Whether you can actually rest depends on the workplace and the nature of the job.

Even so, saying 'I am thinking I want to rest right now' is not a bad thing.

I myself, having not fallen ill for a long time, was not used to resting.

The feeling that 'if I take a break, it will be a burden on others' was also strong.

But looking back now, I think I could have valued my own feeling of 'I want to rest' sooner.

・Take a break before you reach your limit

For example, you are busy with work and suffering from sleep deprivation.
Your brain isn't working, you have no motivation, and your work is being affected.

“I’ve been sleep-deprived for a while now.”

“If I could just stop working and get plenty of sleep, I’d recover.”

If you ever feel that way, it might be okay to stop for a moment.

Of course, the rest or treatment needed varies from person to person.

However, based on my own experience, I believe thatif I had rested sooner, I might have recovered sooner.

I continued to work for about a year and eight months after my health began to decline.

After that, I left my job, and a year later, I am still recuperating.

If I had rested at the initial stage, things might have turned out differently.

I believe it is important to address mental health issues early on.

I want you to take action to protect yourself while you are still able to think,

“Maybe I should take a break.”

This is because

once you truly exceed your limits, it can become difficult to even judge that you 'should take a break'.

・I want to be someone who can encourage others to take a breakFrom now on, when someone is pushing themselves too hard, I want to be the kind of person who can say,


“You should take a break now.”

I want to be someone who can not only support people in their efforts but also



tell them that 'it is okay to take a break.'

That is what I, having worked as a store manager, ruined my health, and then become the one needing to rest, want to convey most right now.

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