Why I started writing on note, after crying, 'Why my child?'

Nice to meet you.🌱

I'm Nachi, raising my 6-year-old eldest son with autism and my mischievous 2-year-old second son.

Today, as a way of introducing myself, I'd like to write about:

・What it was like when I first learned about his disability
・What helped me start looking forward
・What I want to share through this note

I'll try writing about these things.

I'm looking forward now, but when I first found out about my eldest son's disability, it was truly painful.

I would feel depressed comparing him to other children,

“Why my child?”

“Did I raise him wrong?”

“Did I do something wrong during pregnancy?”

I only thought about things like that.

At night, anxiety would wash over me, and I would just cry.

I would desperately search on my smartphone, only to become even more anxious.

That was my every day.

But one day, I suddenly thought,

“Even with a disability, I love this child so much.”

It might be obvious.

But for me at that time, it was a very big realization.

The fact that I love this child hasn't changed.

I could never come to dislike him.

If that's the case, instead of standing still forever, I should think about what I can do so that he can live happily from now on.

The moment I thought that, I felt the heavy stone in my heart become a little lighter.

Just being alive is a perfect score.


From there, I gradually connected with local welfare services, attended developmental support, and was supported by many people.


Of course, I still have worries now.

There are days when I feel anxious thinking about the future.

But unlike before,

I no longer cry,

“Why?”

My eldest son has his own pace.

It's okay if he's not the same as those around him.

Whether he can do more things or not,



just being alive is enough.I truly believe that now.

What I wanted to know back then

There is something I realized painfully through raising my eldest son.

That is,

“Information about welfare and developmental support is really hard to understand!”That is what I mean.

Developmental support?

Consultation support?

Disability certificate?

They were all words I was hearing for the first time.

Even when I looked them up, they were full of technical jargon.

The systems also differ depending on the municipality.

In the end,

“What should my family do?”

That was the part I didn't understand.

I was truly desperate back then.

That is precisely why I want to write about what I wanted to know in the past on this note.

I am not an expert.

However, I believe there are things I can convey precisely because I am a mother who has actually experienced it.

What I want to share on this note

On this note, I plan to write about:

🌱 Changes in my feelings until I accepted the disability

🌱 Personal experiences with developmental support and welfare services

🌱 Records from school enrollment consultations to entering special needs school

🌱 Raising my eldest son with autism and his younger brother

🌱 Daily events and things I've felt

I plan to write about these things.

Not just about the systems,

but also the real feelings of raising a child with a disability,

and I hope to write a lot about daily life, like

“What do you do in times like this?”

Finally

If there is anyone out there right now

searching with an anxious heart while clutching their smartphone.

It's okay.

I was in the same place.

It's okay if you can't be positive right away.

It's okay to cry.

It's okay to take it one step at a time.

I would be happy if this note could become a place that makes someone's anxiety a little lighter.

Of course, for those in similar circumstances,

I would be happy to connect with those looking for information on developmental support and school enrollment,

and those who want to know about raising a child with a disability.🌱

I look forward to your support.

It would be very encouraging if you could press the 'Like' button instead of saying 'I read it'.✨



#FirstNote
#SelfIntroduction
#Parenting
#ChildRearing
#DevelopmentalDisability
#Autism
#RaisingAChildWithADisability
#DevelopmentalSupport
#SpecialNeedsSchool
#SchoolEnrollmentConsultation
#ParentingMom
#Essay