My 'wish' was to prove that I am a precious being and that I am proud of who I am.

Yesterday, I participated in a project and had the opportunity to have someone listen carefully to my 'wish,' so I put it into words in my own way.

Since I am the one thinking and verbalizing it, it is subjective.

If I have someone else listen to it and capture it from an objective perspective,

Oh, my!
Such bubbling, burning power
I was hiding inside me!

I mean, it's really true!

Maybe I have been wishing for that and living wanting to become that ever since I was a little child!!

I was given back words that made me feel startled.

My wish is,

This is who I am.

I am not a being that can be easily ignored or hurt. I am a precious being. I am proud of who I am now.

(A dignified way of being, like 'How about that!' (laughs))

I was told that it feels like I want to prove that.

I thought, 'Exactly!'

My family of origin was a family without discussion.

I only knew ways of relating based on codependency, domination, and controlling or being controlled, and I could not find opportunities within the family to calmly listen to each other's opinions and discuss things.

Even if my father used abusive language or violence, no one could stop him.

My father had a way of thinking that children should just obey their parents and that it was natural because they were children, and my mother would complain to me while still following him.

When there was no chance of having my opinions heard as an equal, the only options were to follow my father's authority or to rebel and engage in a terrible battle with him while being plagued by the fear of abandonment.

I was always full of tension, anxiety, fear, and a sense of helplessness and worthlessness that I couldn't do anything.


And as the youngest in the family and among my relatives, I followed my older brothers and everyone else, and even if I was ignored and hurt, I thought that not being protected was just what it meant to live daily life.

And before I knew it, I had become a weak, useless person who couldn't do anything, and from around adolescence, my normal mode of thinking was nihilistic and always conscious of 'death'.

Wanting to do something about that difficulty in living, I searched for answers, and since encountering therapy about four years ago, I have focused my time and money on facing my trauma and the many unhealed pains within me.

And now, I finally feel that the 'wish' that was at the bottom of my heart has surfaced, and that I have become able to acknowledge myself enough for it to come to the surface.

What is your wish?

What is on the surface is,

Wanting to earn more,
wanting to play more,
wanting more and more—
these might be the easy-to-understand things often talked about in this world.

However, I feel that everyone truly has a 'wish' that is not about such worldly things, but rather a wish that springs from the very source of their life.

It is just that we do not touch upon it, or we do not let ourselves notice it, because if we did, we would have to change our current lives.

Therefore, it may simply be that we unconsciously allow it to be easily forgotten within the current social system.

But I feel that when you understand your 'wish,' you can live more easily, be more self-aligned, and live more powerfully.

Shall we dig up 'your wish' together and shine a light on it?

Thank you for reading.