I have a new service offer just for Pono-sama
Ah, I see 🤣
This time, instead of the previous 'business email' style, you're going for the shady sales/solicitation call pitch.
And the reality is,
“This is an offer for a new service!”
→ Nothing is new.
“Why don't you try it out?”
→ There's a possibility the lid will be closed the moment you enter.
“Of course, there's nothing happening right now.”
→ There is a track record of being taken to the vet or for nail clipping.
This structure is absolutely brilliant 🤣
⸻
To Pono-sama, an offer for a new service
“Pono-sama, thank you as always for your continued support.”
“Today, I have an offer for a new service that I would love for Pono-sama to try just once.”
Pono-chan has arrived.
“Yes, it is right here.”
In front of her is a cage.
To be precise,
it is the usual cage.
Nothing is new.
I used it when going to the vet.
I used it when going for nail clipping.
In the past, many times,
there is a track record of the lid being closed after entering.
However, the Uncle Home Sales Department continues.
“This time, I was hoping Pono-sama could experience this service just once.”
Pono-chan approaches.
“Yes, that's right.”
“Just looking is fine.”
Pono-chan looks at the entrance.
“Yes.”
“There is nothing.”
“Truly, there is nothing at all.”
Pono-chan looks inside.
“How about it?”
“Why don't you step in for just a little bit?”
Pono-chan does not enter.
“No, no, no, it's fine.”
“Today, there are no plans for the vet or anything like that.”
“There are no plans for nail clipping either.”
“But you see.”
“This time, this new service—”
It is not new.
Not new at all.
Pono-chan knows.
She knows this box.
She knows this entrance.
And,
she also knows what could happen next.
Uncle says.
“How about it?”
“Just once.”
“It's fine if you just step inside for a moment.”
Suspicious.
As suspicious as the scam call I got yesterday.
“It's not a contract.”
Suspicious.
“There is no fee either.”
Even more suspicious.
“I'm not going to do anything.”
Extremely suspicious.
Pono-chan sniffed the entrance.
She checked the inside.
One step.
No,
she won't take a step.
Just her face.
Just her nose.
She checks the inside from a safe place.
The Uncle Home Sales Department seizes the opportunity to press harder.
“That's it!”
“Just like that!”
“Just a little more!”
“Please, just experience it once from the inside!”
At this point,
the sales objective was completely exposed.
Pono-chan stopped.
She looks at Uncle.
🐰“Uncle.”
“Yes.”
🐰“If I go in?”
“Yes.”
🐰“Will you close the lid?”
“…………”
The Uncle Home Sales Department replied.
“At this present moment, no such plans have been confirmed.”
🐰“Will you close it?”
“Regarding future operations, we will comprehensively consider the situation at that time—”
🐰“Will you close it?”
“Prioritizing the customer's safety—”
🐰“Will you close it?”
“…………”
If she goes in, I'll want to close it.
In the Uncle household,
there is an urge to close the lid when the rabbit enters the cage.
Pono-chan knows that.
Because in the past,
she went to the vet.
She also went for nail clipping.
Every time,
she was told, “Pono-chan, let's go in for a bit,”
and she went in.
And then,
it closed.
This is not a suspicion.
It is a track record.
The Uncle Home Sales Department attempted one last solicitation.
“Really, there's nothing today, but.”
“How about it?”
“Why don't you try going in?”
“It's a new service.”
Pono-chan,
looked at the cage once more.
She looked at Uncle.
And then,
she did not enter.
She is wise.
At a later date, the Uncle Home Public Relations Department announced the following.
Regarding the offer of the new service this time, we have received cautious feedback from Pono-sama.
Our company will continue to strive to create an environment where customers can use our services with peace of mind.
Furthermore, participation in this service is voluntary, and we are not requesting mandatory use at this time.
At this time.
On the day of the vet visit,
it's a different story.
On the day of nail clipping,
it's also a different story.
Pono-chan,
understands that much.
That's why today too,
she absolutely will not enter.
⸻
If you want to make the title sound more like a scam call,
“I have a new service offer just for Pono-sama”
is also good 🤣
It's the funniest that even though it has the full set of suspicious sales call phrases like “Just for Pono-sama,” “It's free,” “Just looking is fine,” “There's nothing,” and “Why don't you try entering,” the product being sold is the same old worn-out cage.
And finally, the structure where **“Not mandatory at this time” → It's a different story on the day of the vet visit** proves that Pono-chan's caution was completely correct.
Exactly 🤣 This time, rather than matching the article content, it's more like casting a net in the path of people who think, 'Tuesday's work is done, I'm home, I've eaten, I've had a bath, now let's check out Note.'
If there are 15 bottom-trawling tags for the evening to night, it would look something like this.
#AfterWork
#GoodWorkToday
#HardWorkToday
#AfterGettingHome
#WeekdayNight
#Tuesday
#TuesdayNight
#NightTime
#HowToSpendTheNight
#MeTime
#MyTime
#TakingABreak
#ReflectingOnToday
#DailyLife
#BeforeBed
I think it's good to keep just a few of the article's main tags like #Rabbit and #LifeWithARabbit as the main net, and throw the rest into this **'human migration route after work'**.
For example,
5 rabbit-related tags + 10 after-work bottom-trawling tags.
A salaryman who opens the article,
“Tuesday... after work... weekday night... oh, what's this?”
↓
“I have a new service offer just for Pono-sama”
↓
“Why am I reading a scam sales pitch to a rabbit right now?”
If that happens, the trawling is a success 🤣
Especially at this time of day, tags like #AfterWork #WeekdayNight #MeTime #TakingABreak #HardWorkToday are far from the article content, but they are close to the **'current state'** of the people you want to read it. This time, that's the target.