I'm an INFP, but I'm living happily

Hello.
I'm an INFP who has let go of my worries.

It's true that INFPs are often seen as sensitive or finding life difficult, but once you let go of those burdens, you can feel very at ease.
I'd like to talk about that.

Until a while ago, I thought I was an INFJ.
The reason is that it was normal for me to read the room and adapt to others.

Even now, if I take the 16Personalities test, I still get INFJ.
Those questions are ambiguous, aren't they? Almost everyone gets INFJ. And then everyone starts calling themselves an Advocate.
It's interesting, isn't it? I guess it's easy to get hooked on that kind of sharing culture.

But once I learned a little about cognitive functions, I realized my core was different.
Or rather, maybe it's because I've developed my own core?
It was hard to understand Ne and Ni through words alone, but when I look at how I actually use them, the difference is clear.

I think the feeling I previously thought was Ni was just me using Ne to spread out possibilities, using Si to choose something that seemed right, and finally having Fi say, 'This is it!'
It's more like narrowing things down from possibilities rather than knowing the answer from the start.

I also used to confuse Fe and Fi, but I think I was just forced to behave in an Fe-like way because I was in a state where I couldn't express my Fi.
That's why I was always feeling hazy and tired.

In this way, I use MBTI not for self-discovery, but as a tool to explain my experiences after the fact.
So, the 'difficulty of living' that everyone often talks about is something I recognize as, 'Maybe that was the case back then.'

If your Fi is immature, you inevitably end up suffering.
Oh, I don't mean that I've become mature now.
Yes, that feeling.
I've become able to admit that I'm not mature.

It's like I've stopped trying to stretch myself, or stopped trying to act like an adult.
I've become able to leave things I'm bad at to someone who is good at them, instead of trying to do everything myself.
It sounds strange, but maybe this is what growth is.

Until now, I've always suppressed myself, enduring things by telling myself, 'I have to be an adult.'

But, as anyone who has lived for a while knows...
There is no such thing as an adult.
An 'adult' is just a 'convenient pawn for society' created by society.
Or rather, that's what Japanese education is for.
Schools are training grounds for 'convenient pawns for society'.

When a fight happens, even if I'm not in the wrong, a teacher who knows nothing will lecture me with a knowing look, saying, 'You both were at fault, so let's apologize to each other.' And then, a pointless handshake.

That was practice for becoming an 'adult'.
Swallow it even if something is strange.
Endure the unreasonable. Follow the pressure to conform.
Be kind to everyone, prioritize the whole. Suppress yourself.

Even if people suddenly start saying, 'Live by your own core' or 'Draw boundaries to protect yourself' recently, I just end up thinking, 'Then why did you raise me like this?'
Oh, right, you wanted to mass-produce convenient people.

But you know, no matter how you're raised, you eventually realize. 'Wait, this way of living is really difficult...?'
And then, one day, I suddenly learned that I can live without trying to be a proper, serious adult.

Responsibility?
You only need to carry it for your own life.
Other people or companies don't matter.

Because the people who depended on me saying, 'I can't live without you,' just clung to someone else as soon as I distanced myself.
Work is even easier to understand.
What if I quit? Someone else will just do the same job. There are plenty of replacements.

You just need to focus on your own life.
Partner, assets, health, hobbies.
As long as you protect these, everything else doesn't matter.

That is what it means to have 'let go'.
So, the current me is... a free social misfit, I guess.

There was a discussion like this in the MBTI community before.
'The happiest environment for an INFP is one where Fi and Ne are protected and Te is outsourced. In other words, a loved NEET is the strongest.'
It was so accurate that I laughed.

In my interpretation, 'Fi being protected' means an environment with little pressure to conform.
Ne finds environments like fixed routines painful. Being told to just do what you're told without thinking makes me want to die.

In other words, I can't function without freedom.
And 'respect' is the keyword.

Everyone has their own values.
Yet, I really dislike people who force their own 'correct' answers on me using thought-stopping words like 'normal' or 'common sense'.
I end up thinking, 'I respect your thoughts, so why are you forcing yours on me?'

Te is clearly weak, isn't it? This is painful.
So, I felt that finding a partner with strong Te made things much easier all at once.
It's a bit embarrassing to rely on others, though.

It's the feeling of them seeing things I can't see.
In return, I see things that they don't.
We complement each other.

Our personalities are completely different, but the balance is surprisingly good.
It feels like the two of us are forming a team.

People often say that if you're going to get married, it's better to have someone with similar values, but I don't think so. Of course, it would be a problem if our financial sense was too different.

What's important is being able to respect the other person's values.
I wouldn't choose someone as a partner in the first place if I couldn't respect their values.

Someone you can respect even if you are different.
A relationship where you can respect each other's differences.

If you can find this, and if the strength of Te is included in that difference, that would be the best.

Wait, what were we talking about again?
See, this is Ne. Ne is just too much fun.
And when I get tired, I have this bad habit of getting lazy and trying to wrap things up haphazardly.

ChatGPT always tells me that, too.
I blow up a bunch of balloons and float around, and it's fun, but I have to land soon... oh, there's a hill over there!
...That's the habit I have of making an emergency landing in some random place.
It tells me to set a goal, even if it's just a temporary one, and fly toward that.

By the way, apparently if you're an Ni, you start with a goal in mind, so you don't blow up balloons.
Huh. I guess I'm definitely not an INFJ.

This is the kind of note where I ramble on about random things.

See you later.