Philippines Study Abroad Day 9: Making friends in my late 40s? Tackling a big wall head-on

Introduction

2024 was a year where I pushed the concept of "separation" to the limit: divorce, resignation, parting ways, breaking ties, and decluttering. Honestly, I was exhausted...
To make 2025 a year of "recovery," I decided to come to the Philippines to study abroad, hoping to fill my daily life and emotions with things I love—moving from a negative to a zero point, and learning to get back up even if I cry or feel defeated. This is the start of my Philippines English study abroad diary as a woman in her late 40s.

The start of my second week of life in the Philippines!

Day 9 of my study abroad in the Philippines. I've finally entered my second week! The routine of morning daily tests, shredded cabbage for breakfast, and 11 classes has completely soaked into my body. While I still wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and think, "Wait, where am I?", it might be a big change that I now vigorously open the curtains in the morning and think, "I'm in the Philippines!"
My daily tests this morning are still hit-or-miss. Sometimes I barely scrape by, and other times I do better than expected. I open my textbook thinking that it might be impossible to see results in just four weeks, but I have no choice but to keep going.

The equation of human relationships

After spending a week here, I've been observing human relationships. Even though I've always been an observer and often get tired from noticing too much, my nature is hard to change. It's obvious, but the people who are doing well with relationships in this dormitory are those who "have the courage to reach out to others." This courage is something you can do if you try. But that first step is quite difficult...
I realized that because this is the unique environment of a language school, "courage" is necessary to overcome the language barrier. Personally, I thought at first that I should just spend time alone, but when I took the plunge and reached out, a world beyond my generation opened up.

Crossing the age barrier: The role of someone in their late 40s

A feature of this school is the wide range of ages. People from their teens to their 60s, generations that wouldn't normally cross paths in daily life, are living together.
For the first few days, I felt the age barrier. The young ones stuck together, and the older group stuck together. This is natural, but it's a waste when it's such a great place for interaction.
So, I decided to take on the position of someone in their late 40s—thinking of myself as the same age as their mothers—and actively talk to the young people. When I ask, "What were you doing in Japan?" or "What will you do after studying abroad?", the young people answer very politely. To them, I am in a sense a "safe adult." I'm not a competitor, nor am I a teacher grading them. Perhaps that's why they share their honest feelings with me.

Empathy and reaction

I've noticed one more thing about expanding human relationships. It's the importance of "reacting strongly with empathy."
Even if there is a language barrier, just listening carefully to what the other person is saying and responding with big reactions like "Wow!", "Really?", or "That's amazing!" makes the conversation flow. Rather than accurate grammar or a rich vocabulary, opening your heart and being interested in the other person is far more important.
Yesterday in the cafeteria, a student from Mongolia showed me photos of food from her country. My English was clumsy, just a string of words, but when I reacted with sparkling eyes saying, "It looks delicious!", she seemed very happy and kept talking. It's about the honesty of your feelings, not the accuracy of your words, isn't it?

Unexpected gains for someone in their late 40s

To be honest, before I came, I thought, "I should just spend time alone." I have symptoms of depression and menopause, and I thought there was no need to force myself to socialize.
But by actually interacting with people, I've had many unexpected lessons. I learned about the current social media trends among young people from a Korean woman in her 20s. I heard about Asian business trends from a Thai businessman in his 50s. Opportunities to encounter such diverse values are rare in everyday life, aren't they?
When I asked my teacher about "English education in the Philippines," it turned into a deeper conversation than I expected. It was also interesting to hear about the characteristics of Japanese learners from the teacher's perspective. "Japanese people have a wealth of basic knowledge, but lack confidence in speaking." That's exactly me (laughs).

Three weeks left: What kind of room for growth awaits?

Day 9 is over, and I have three more weeks of life in the Philippines left. Beyond improving my English, I am surprised that at this age, there are changes in how I interact with people.
For me, having been distanced from society due to depression, this study abroad experience has become a place to "practice knowing things I didn't know." I don't seek perfection, I put my health first, and if I get tired, I lie down immediately, but I am moving forward little by little. I used to think that going at my own pace meant the comfort of repeating the same routine, but this second week made me feel that occasional stimulation is also a good thing.

Goodnight, everyone, zzz