A story about rethinking parental expressions of affection after my daughter started getting angry when I poked her tummy

Hello, this is Papao.

In your homes, do you express affection toward one another?

When researching child-rearing, it is often said that parental love is not enough if it is just 'kept in your thoughts,' and that it is better to make it visible through words and actions.

Broadly speaking, it has long been said that parental warmth is related to a child's sense of security, emotional stability, and the foundation of their self-esteem.

Physical contact, such as skinship, also seems to be related to trust and stress regulation.

Furthermore, there is research suggesting that expressing gratitude within the family is linked to parental happiness and healthy family functioning.

In our home, both my wife and I express our affection toward our daughter.

When she wakes up in the morning, we say, 'Good morning, I love you, I adore you,' and give her a hug. When she leaves for school, we say, 'I love you. Have a fun day,' and give her a hug. When she gets home, we have a 'welcome home' hug. At night, we say, 'Good night, I love you,' and give her a high-five or a hug.

Basically, we always intend to express that 'you are important to us.'

When raising a neurodivergent child, there are inevitably more events that lower self-esteem, such as the child struggling to do things, having conflicts at school, or getting scolded for mistakes.

That is precisely why I have consciously wanted to convey 'I love you' and 'you are important' through both words and actions.

However, I have been thinking about one thing lately.

My daughter has recently started getting angry when I poke her tummy.she gets angry when I poke her tummyis that right?

I feel like she didn't mind it that much before, but lately, she properly gets angry, as if to say, 'Stop it.'

Hugs are fine. Kisses on the cheek are also fine.

But apparently, the tummy is off-limits.

From my perspective, it is just my usual teasing and my usual skinship, but from my daughter's side, it has become, 'That is not right for me now.'

I thought, 'Ah, she is gradually becoming a young lady.'

It is not that the parents' love or the child's level of trust has changed. But I realized that a child's personal boundaries and how they perceive things change little by little.

Especially for girls, matters regarding their bodies are a very important issue, aren't they?

It's not like I can keep touching her forever, and protecting her is also important.

Physical contact is very important, but maybe that's not all there is to it.

There are days when she's happy to be hugged, and days when she doesn't want to be touched.
Even with the same words, there are days when they just wash over her, and days when they really hit home.

There are days when "I love you" gets through, and days when more specific words like "I saw you," "You worked hard," or "You helped me out" feel more right.

The important thing is to watch what makes this child feel most "loved" right now and change how you express it little by little.

Love isn't enough just by having it.
But it's not over just because you've expressed it.
There are many ways to convey it.

Updating the way you deliver it to match your child's growth.
I think that's also a form of parental love.

No, but still, I can't help but think, isn't it fine to just poke her tummy a little...? Hmm.

I hope this article leads to a "success" for everyone!

If you'd like, please support my daughter with a like, follow, comment, or tip.
May tomorrow be another good day.

▼Promotion!▼

A sale has started on SUZURI!

T-shirts are 1,000 yen off, and there are lots of discounts like getting a 1,000 yen off coupon by registering on the app!
Goods featuring the smiley face my daughter drew are also on sale!

The sale period is from 12:00 on 4/3 to 20:59 on 4/13.

Add some smiley magic to your life★
Please come and take a look~❤
↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑